Forsaking all the rest
by Heart of Summer
Summary: "I need you in my blood, I am forsaking all the rest" This is the story of how Brittany and Santana became friends and more, following behind the scenes of the episodes. From the very beginning, and hopefully to the happy ending.
1. Cheerios is a lifestyle

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.

**A/N:** I realized there was no actual scenes in which I could detect Brittany in the pilot episode, and for a fact, Brittany and Santana aren't really seen together much the first few episodes. Actually, it's mostly Quinn and Santana. Soooo, I thought unlike a lot of people that they actually might become such close friends somewhere in the beginning of the show!  
This is my first chapter and hopefully, there will be many more. I'm working on the idea to follow each episode, and try to make the side story and relationship of Brittana/Santittany evolve in a natural way. Be honest, help me keep the characters in character and please tell me if you like it, and want more!

I also want to send a thank you to the amazing Jasmine, who let me pour out all my ideas to her, and who reads the chapters and dares to be honest with me when I need her to be.  
I hate OOC and so, I'm glad we can both discuss the do's and don't's of Brit and San. Huge hugs for you!

**

* * *

****  
Chapter 1: Cheerios is a lifestyle**

**(Santana)**

"Did you hear about the new girl?"  
"That she was home schooled?"  
With a bang I bust out of the booth and ignore the frightened girls, too occupied to meet my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I pull out the ribbon from my hair only to start making a new, tighter one.  
It was always the same with new students. I didn't really care about what was said about them, because they rarely made any difference to the natural order of things. I caught a glimpse of the three girls hurrying out of the bathroom, as Quinn joined my side, washing her hands and leaning in only to touch her eyelids, making sure her make-up sat right.  
"New girl?" She asked nonchalantly.  
"Seems like it," I replied in a less than even a little interested tone.  
"I heard she's supposed to be this amazing dancer," Quinn offered with seemingly no interest in the matter, leaning back, only to look over at me.  
"So?"  
"So, she could be useful." I raised an eyebrow, this time actually eyeing the real Quinn, not just her reflection.  
"Make it work." Quinn simply says, before leaving the bathroom, me following one step behind. We did our usual walk down the corridors, talking about nothing, enjoying the way the mass of people just parted for us, like we were royalty. Meanwhile I made small notes in my head about what I heard from the crowd.

"Blonde-"  
"Big tits-"  
"Threesome-"  
"Dance teacher-"  
"Affair-"  
"Badger-"  
"Brittany-"  
"Sex with a-"

I stop abruptly, finding my victim in the form of Lucy Stone, one of my cheerio underlings. I make sure to put my best bitch face on and let Quinn pass three more lockers to get to her boyfriend.  
"What's the deal about this new girl?" Lucy looked a little taken aback for me to actually talk to her directly, but she quickly hid it and said:  
"She's supposedly this half German, home schooled girl-"  
"I don't want her entire life story," I snap, staring the girl down.  
"Well, her name's Brittany Pierce-"  
"Anything useful?" I bite off, my heart skipping a beat in recognition of the name, shrugging it off and not worrying about the Brittany Pierces of the world but instead enjoying the satisfaction of watching the girl tremble, her non cheerio friend looking like she was about to cry.  
"She slept with her dance teacher, THE Sparky Polastri." I give a half smile, and throw a:  
"See you at practice," before turning to go to my locker. But doing so, I see a girl standing with her back to the corridor, a waterfall of blonde hair flowing down her back. Before going as far as thinking, I go straight up to her, not bothering to open my locker, saying:  
"Cheerio practice is at three. Make sure you'll be there." The girl spin around and let her dark, clear blue eyes bore into mine. She looks a little speechless, and shocked to see me, but I don't give her a chance to say anything. I wasn't going to give her the time of day just because she'd already gotten herself a reputation.  
"Don't be late," I throw over my shoulder as I turn around, already walking away, joining Quinn, Finn and Noah Puckerman in their way to the classroom.

* * *

"Did you know that sharks fall in love and live together forever?"

I look at the blonde, raising one of my eyebrows to mask my shock. What is this, some kind of opening line, some kind of thank you? She was obviously extremely socially disabled, just like I remembered her.

"I think that's swans." I tell her, looking up at my leg again, which I am trying hard to keep in place beside my ear, straight and nice, stretched up towards God's a-

"I don't like swans - they scare me. But I like ducks. Does ducks do it?" I let my leg down – slowly, in case Coach Sylvester is secretly watching from somewhere - and take a serious look at her for the first time since I realized she went to this school. Her whole body was turned towards me, even her leg, which she was keeping up without seeming to think twice about it. And her eyes were filled with something I'd seen in loads of other students, even cheerleaders. Admiration.  
Though my knowledge of swans and sharks had never been the reason for that before. I knew this only because I'd had a few too many late nights home alone with only the soothing voices and animal sounds from Animal Planet to keep me company.

I have known a lot of stupid cheerleaders through the years, but this is not stupid. This is just... _absurdo_. It was the same thing when she was younger, and we used to play house. She always wanted to be the mum and the cat at the same time. She would go around cooking, using a vocabulary made up based on her kitten. We used to play almost every day, but when I turned nine my mum got a job in Lima and we moved here. Turns out it wasn't just a job my mum had waiting for her, and she left us a week before my tenth birthday with some guy called Mica.

Me and Brittany had lost contact for obvious reasons. Our families hadn't been friends, and we were only nine year-olds, so all we could muster was a few letters back and forth before we both got new friends and forgot about each other. Well, forgot is a strong word.  
But when my mum left, I lost interest in almost everything but myself. I made taking over school my new project, because even though I didn't have any pink and fluffy feelings for Quinn, I knew we would be a great monarchy.

Now, even though I'd thought about Brittany occasionally over the years, I couldn't just bow down to her. My place was to carry the pillow with Quinn on top, as I stood there on my pedestal, only keeping the weight of her up by knowing that the rest of the school was standing beneath me, carrying _me_ on top of _their_ quivering shoulders.

"I wouldn't know." I shrugged, stretching my arms out in front of me, then to the side, then back, preparing myself for the pyramid.

"Oh." I looked back at her, all disappointed. I don't ever recall having disappointed her, and it felt very wrong to do it now.

"They might." I said, trying to sound positive. She finally let her leg down, leaning in towards me, eyeing me with those wide, piercing blue eyes.

"Santana, you do remember me don't you?" I blinked, remembering what my mum used to call her, and really understood why. I nodded, and the smile she gave me just proved the point. _Irresistable_.

"Take your places, Cheerios! No slackers on my team!" I snapped out of it, looking up at Coach Sylvester.  
"Don't hold your breath for a pep talk from me," I snapped. "You're just gonna have to figure the world of the cheerios out on your own." I turned to look at her, but Brittany had already hopped away and was taking her place at the bottom of the pyramid. I was slightly impressed by the way she managed to intimidate me without being intimidating. It hit me how fragile she looked down there, even though she was smiling. I think that was the moment when I knew things had to change – the Quinn pillow was too heavy for one person anyway.

"You think this is hard? Try being water boarded, that's hard!"

* * *

"This geek club joke is getting on my nerves!" Quinn whines as we are on our way to the lockerooms. Last week her boyfriend joined some kind of club I didn't even know existed. Before, me and Quinn had always thought it was some kind of made up shit that Rachel Berry had come up with so she could get her Broadway on any time she wanted to. Not so much.

Cool and kind of hot Finn had out on nowhere joined a club where they sing for fun. Okay, so usually I don't hate on singers, I've got the gift myself. But this was different. It was gay, they danced like my grandpa and they had like a law of only singing show tunes and Broadway songs. At least, that's what I've heard.

I could understand why Q would be upset, obviously. But come on, this was just a bit too much of a pity party for my taste. I wanted to push one of my pompoms down her throat just so I could stop hearing about "the geek club" for like, one second.

"I mean, that midget is so going to wish she was never born! She's gonna wanna-"

"- rip out her vocal cords and feed them to raccoons?" I offered, sighing.

"Exactly!" Quinn agreed and kept going. "And I'll make her pay for-" I stopped listening then and there, because Brittany was standing by my locker, looking up into the ceiling. Odd, I thought, since practice was out an hour ago and I'd seen her leave quite early. Had she been waiting for me that long?  
I'd hardly spoken to her since her first practice last week, just a few words here and there. Nothing mean though, which had been noticed by the others. Quinn had even asked me about it, and I'd just simply answered with a shrug. They could think I was nice to her because she was the new girl, but I wouldn't explain myself. Heck, I did like her. She was a great cheerio and totally nice to everyone. Besides, she had taken the advices I'd given the cheerios about dating guys to make them look good to heart. Just last week I'd seen her with both Lucas and Chad, which was a good number for such a short time.

Didn't say much though. Just some stray comments here and there. I thought I'd gotten rid of her expectations, but was a little disappointed, I guess, that she didn't seem to mind.

But now she was standing by my locker – in regular clothes too, which was different. She had lime green shorts and a blue, silky looking tunic. Her hair was out too. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Brittany?" She turned her head towards me, looking half woken up, and smiled a little tiredly.

"Lopez, Q, come with me." The harshness came from an angry coach Sylvester hurrying up behind us. She stopped and stared at Brittany like she didn't know her.

"Who's this social outcast?" she muttered, proving me right. Brittany looked away from me, wondering.

"It's Brittany Pierce. The new girl." Quinn said, trying to be helpful. The coach looked bitter, but switched to her positive sounding tone as she said:

"Sorry there, Brittany. I didn't recognize you out of the cheerio costume."

"That's okay coach." Brittany said.

"No, it's not okay." She sucked in some air and put her head on a tilt. "Poor Brittany. The cheerios costume will assist you in school. You will rise above everyone else in this dump. Being my cheerio gives you the opportunity of not studying, beeing able to bully whoever you want, even teachers, I migth add, and having the privilege of getting away with it." Sue gave a half smile, like she pitied Brittany for not realizing that, like not knowing these facts made her really dense. "As long as you don't get fat or knocked up." She added as an afterthought and smiled again.

"Now run along home and feed all your blind owls and HIV positive squirrels that you have hiding in your pink room. I bet they're waiting for you." Then she turned around, expecting us to follow her just like that. And of course we did.

"That's my dad."

I turned around as I heard Brittany's words and looked at her with a questioning face. Then we rounded the corner and she went out of sight.

"These waltzing basement rats are threatening the cheerios budget," Sue said as she hurried towards the auditorium, in which we could hear tunes coming out. "They are to become the new laughing stock of the school, so take a good look at them. Use any methods you please, I don't care if you force them to go through with a sex change as long as you make their lives a _Living. Hell._"

"Don't worry about it, coach Sylvester. It's already done." Quinn reassured her, looking as much like a warrior as Sue herself. We busted through the doors and came out on one of the balconies. Sue and Quinn leaned out to see, but I simply folded my hands on the railing.

The music was good, really good. I knew I wouldn't be able to say it to any of them if I wanted to keep my spot, but they kind of rocked.

For once Rachel sounded good, and Finn, damn that boy sure could bring it. Besides, who knew a wheelchair kid could play a guitar? I noticed Quinn was rubbing her hands together, and realized she probably liked it too. It was hard to listen without wanting to jump up and down and clap my hands together. How could these total nobodies make me want to bust it?

I let my thoughts travel back to Brittany. Was she still waiting for me? The song ended, and I found myself slightly disappointed as Mr Schuester's voice was heard and Coach turned her back and left. Me and Quinn looked at each other and went out behind her. She was already gone, so we started walking towards the exit, Q complaining even louder than before.

"Manhands were all over him, I can't believe it! That he would even_ think_ of singing and dancing around like some loser when I'm his girlfriend! He's bringing down my rep-"

"I forgot my cell," I said and hurried away from Quinn, hoping to escape a headache.

"See you," she called after me, still fuming from watching Finn preform.

Brittany wasn't waiting for me, but a pink post it sticking out of my locker was.

**0709807797  
****In case practice gets cancelled.  
****X Brit**

I fished out my cellphone and pushed in the numbers, saving it. That was Quinn's duty, really, but I didn't care. I smiled and put the cell back in my bra before hanging my bag over my shoulder and going towards the doors. My footsteps echoed in the empty hallway and I closed my eyes for a moment, letting myself actually enjoying this brief moment of calm. Like the way it smelt, the way the afternoon sun was sipping in through the windows and the way some dust particles were flying around in the air.

"Damn, we were really good!" It was that black chick who ruined my moment.

"We r-r-really w-were!" And that Asian kid. They sounded out of breath and tired, coming out from the auditorium. And sure thing, I saw their red shapes appear before me, walking to the drinking fountain. I reacted like an angry bull would have.

"Out of my way, Lima losers!" They moved away quickly, and I went out the the doors, head held high, almost_ hearing_ the black chic roll her eyes. I wondered if their happiness depended on their personality or Glee club. Then I shook my head, sighing a little bit in the warm air as I went to my cabriolet and threw my stuff in the passenger seat. Too bad I was gonna have to bring both those things down.

* * *

**A/N: **Feedback is a writer's best friend, so tell me what you think!


	2. Showmance

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.

**A/N:** This is pretty much how it's gonna be. The story will change between Santana and Brittany's point of view. It's hard to nail both of the characters, so please, share your thoughts in the review section! Reviews really get me inspired, so any suggestions or critic is taken with arms wide open!

* * *

**Chapter 2: Showmance**

**(Brittany)**

"God Bless the perv who invented these."  
I smile as Santana makes a twirl and shows off her panties in the process. I try not to look at her underwear in the same way as the guys probably do, but they're just so... soft. I chew my lip as my eyes travel down her ass, concentrating on not thinking about how hard she must've trained to get it so-  
"Remember the power motto girls;" Quinn says as if she's Tyra Banks.

"It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing!" We all chant smiling at each other, and Santana's ass, apparently. Well, it's hard no to see it. It's so obviously there! My thoughts are lost in the sea of skirts from all of the cheerios dancing and shaking it like crazy – me included.

"Back it up like a dump truck, baby!" It's hard to keep my eyes off of any of the girls. All of the cheerios, as they, well, we, call ourselves, work out six days a week. That means their behinds, and legs, and chests looks really good. Which means it's really, really hard not to stare if you think they look good. I do it shamelessly in the locker room, but I feel it's a bit inappropriate during something called celibacy club. I'm not sure why it's named after a vegetable, but it's mainly about not looking at each others asses, because apparently, God says so. My grandma used to read the bible to me every night when she lived with us a few years back so that I would fall asleep quicker, but I still can't recall it ever saying something like that.

I lean on one of the desks as the boys walk in, Finn leading the group with Puckerman right behind him. Sometimes I wonder what they talk about in the locker rooms. Because if it's just like us girls, asking opinions on brah's, boobs and help with stretching, then I would really like to be a guy. Besides, being best friends with Finn wouldn't be that bad – he's so nice to all the cheerios. I grin when Miles from Spanish asks me to be his partner. I agree, and jump up to join him on the floor, giggling at the balloon in his hands.

"Okay everyone," Quinn says and makes me snap back to focus on her filling up a balloon. "Let's pair up for the Emaculate effecting..." I choke back a giggle, that is immediately killed by Quinn's evil eye. "If you break the balloon the sound makes the angels cry." I swallow hard, worried about a sound that scary.

"I really like yellow," I tell Miles, batting my eyelashes for full effect like Santana told the cheerios to do just yesterday. It works. His smile grows ten times.

"Me too."

"Stop it!" My head turns to the angry bark of Santana. Puck is humping their balloon like crazy, and she looks angry, trying to back away from him, but he holds her in a firm grip by the shoulders.

"Take it!" he grins. I drop my hands from Miles' shoulders, wondering if I should do something when Finn's balloon pops and everyone's attention is directed towards the It couple instead. I see Santana smack away the balloon and Puck being mesmerized by the fact that Quinn is yelling at her boyfriend.

Santana catches my eye, roll hers and do a quick up and down glance of Miles. Then she raises an eyebrow and smiles encouragingly, so I step a little closer to him as that scary girl who's after Finn – I think her name's Midget, which is weird – holds a speech and tells us that everyone wants to have sex. Quinn looks baffled, but I just nod my head, smiling at Miles. He blushes and looks at Rachel again, which I guess means he got the message. I wouldn't mind Miles. He's sweet. Besides, I have a reputation to uphold, as Santana has put it. I need to put out to keep it alive and breathing.

* * *

As me and Miles are about to leave the classroom Quinn comes up beside me, smiling at him.

"Give us a sec, will you?" she says sweetly, and he nods at me, and stumbles away, mesmerized by having been talked to directly by the head cheerleader.

"So, you're supposed to be good at dancing, from what I've heard." I nod, not sure what to say to that. "We could both benefit from you helping me do a quick dance routine." I'm still not sure what to answer, and shrug a little bit.

"To what song?" It'd be great fun to help Quinn out – I love dancing.

"Say a little prayer for you." she says, like it doesn't matter. "It would be for me and Santana, but I guess it would be good if you joined too. With your rep it would be a simple step."

"What exactly are you planning for me to do?" Santana's voice asks from behind me. I turn around and smile at her, but she doesn't seem to notice I'm even there.

"We're joining Glee Club." She says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. I think I see worry in her eyes, but it must be my imagination.

"No way in hell." Santana answers automatically, looking as if she's been slapped in the face. "It would be social suicide!"

"This is not for us to have a shot at expressing ourselves!" Quinn barks back. "It's to make sure Finn doesn't do anything stupid with that harlot!" I give Santana a confused look, but she must understand who we're talking about. I have no idea, though. Who's the harlot? Isn't that a bird?

"Oh, Pleeasee! Rachel Berry is not going to go all Edward Cullen on you man and swoop him away." Santana rolls her eyes at Quinn's worried look.

"Didn't you hear her! She offered him sex!" Santana just crosses her arms over her chest, and looks back at her, before looking at me.

"And you're going to agree with this, Brittany?" I nod, still not knowing who that Rachel Berry is, only knowing Quinn needs me, and I'd like to be there for her as a friend.

"She's going to move up the pyramid if she agrees," the head cheerleader says. "It should mean the world to her that she was chosen by me to help." I don't like Quinn's tone, but I know she's right. A lot of the other cheerios would kill to get a chance like this. It would be the end of my bottom place at the pyramid.

"Fine," Santana says, cracking under the pressure of the Queen. "When do we start?"

"Now. We're auditioning this afternoon."

* * *

Me and Santana were leaning against the lockers beside the choir room, waiting for Quinn to show up from the ladies room. She'd been keeping us busy during the whole day, ditching Spanish, maths and history.

Spanish and history I didn't mind so much, but maths' my favourite subject besides cheerleading practice.

"Is Quinn going to show up?" I ask Santana, who looks away from her nails and up at me. I'd never thought about the fact that she was shorter than me before. She was above me in the pyramid and when she spoke, it made me feel like she was always taller somehow. But right in this moment, us alone in an empty corridor and possibly waiting for a moment that could change our lives... well, she didn't seem tall anymore. Just nervous, maybe. She gave me a roll with her eyes, before looking back at her nails.

"Of course she will. Otherwise I'll kick her bony ass all the way back to Texas." I smiled.

"She reminds me of Dorothy, too." Santana's eyes snapped up to mine, and her defensive face fell. I just smiled at her and clicked my heels together.

"There's no place like home." And that, everyone, was the first time since I'd met Santana again, that she gave me a genuine smile. And she laughed at me.

"You're such a weirdo, Brittany. But yeah, she is JUST like a bitchy Dorothy." I gave a giggle, not letting her eyes leave mine.

"Are you sidekicks ready to join the homo explosion?"

We both looked up at Quinn at the same time, smiles forgotten.

"Let's go blow him away, shall we?" She went past us, in through the door, and Santana followed without so much as a look in my direction. I breathed in deeply once, making sure I became a dancer in full, before confidently, hips swaying an extra bit, entering the room.

"Welcome, ladies." Mr Schue says as I take my place on the left side of Quinn, keeping my cool and reminding myself of the steps once more, hoping Quinn wouldn't mess them up.

"Whatever," Santana says, mirroring my pose and putting her hands on her hips. The teacher leans back and put his pen to his chin.

"I have to say I'm really surprised you guys are trying out."

"I'm sure you've read about this in the school paper – Finn and I have been an item for a while now, so what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him?"

At this I smile, and Santana let's out a breath of a chuckle.

"Well, let's see what you got." He pushes play and me and Santana immediately take our places in front of the diva, my eyes glance in her direction as I push my wrist against hers, and we sway to the music, letting our skirts to the work. I feel her fingers brush against mine for a second, before the singing begins.

"_Say a little prayer for you..._"

When our hands meet, Santana immediately diverts her eyes, but I look at her a second longer, before letting the routine take over my body – my flirty, self confident inner self. Sometimes I love her more than I love myself.

Halfway through the song I feel as if I'm having an out of body moment, letting my skirt and hands and eyes and voice do the talking. We got him right where we want him.

"_Together, together, that's how it must be,  
__to live without you, would only mean heartbreak for me..._"

As we sing the last words, Santana's eyes are back on mine. We look away at the same time and as my hands fall on Quinn's shoulder. I let my eyes travel to the floor, loosing myself in a replay of the fire in Santana's eyes moments before. Then I look up, bite my lip and meet the applause of a laughing Glee choir leader.

"That was amazing, guys! Quinn, that is some voice you've got there."

"Thank you, Mr. Schue." She answers self confidently with a small smile of victory.

"That routine was really good too! How long have you've been working on this?"

"Since this afternoon," I answer truthfully and get a surprised laugh from Mr. Schuester.

"Well, welcome to Glee club."

* * *

**A/N: Please give me inspiration to keep writing by telling me what you think!  
****I'm always interested in suggestions and discussions so don't hesitate to tell me!**


	3. Tanning Privileges

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.

**A/N:** This weeks episode crushed my heart. I hope it gives me inspiration to write faster, but I can't give any promises! Anyway, third chapter, it's pretty short, but here we go!

* * *

**Chapter 3: Tanning Privileges**

**(Santana)**

Waking up in Puck's bed was so not my idea of the ideal morning.

As my eyes fought the darkness of the room, I soon realized that it was my cellphone that had woken me up. The screen was flashing in green and blue, telling me that I had 1 new message.

I reached out to pick it up and slid out from under the covers not to wake the giant, that was snoring and taking up the most part of the bed. His Mohawk looked all tussled and it was actually kind of cute. Somehow, even if the room was warm, I felt cold and alone.

Ignoring it, I opened my phone and saw that the message was from Quinn.

**From: Q  
****To: Me**

**Come 2 my house.  
We got business 2 discuss.**

I rolled my eyes at her words, picking up my panties off the floor and thinking about Brittany. She'd gone home with Miles while I'd left with Puck the other night. I wondered how it'd gone. Since I'd been sleeping in my shirt and brah, I pulled on my skirt and picked up my shoes from under the ripped, dirty looking couch. A flashback from the night before entered my mind, and I tried to suffocate the thought of how many girls before me had straddled him in that thing. The stains made me sick, and I turned towards the window.

**From: Me  
****To: Q**

**C U at 8**

Then, before being able to stop myself, I quickly wrote another message.

**From: Me  
****To: Brittany**

**How did it go?**

I took one last look at Puck in his bed, sneaking out into the hall, wondering if anyone else had come home. The door that was, typically Lima, unlocked and started walking down the street to get to my house. No one would've missed me, and the clock was half past five, so no one would be awake to see me either. The gravel stung my bare feet, but it was a nice morning. I was swinging my shoes, listening to the loud singing of the birds. The sun was just starting to colour the sky orange on the horizon and even though it was so early, the air was already pretty warm.

I got an answer to my message just as I was outside my front door, noticing that my dad's car wasn't in the drive way, as per usual.

**From: Brittany  
****To: Me**

**R U kidding me? It was gr8!  
C U at practice**

* * *

" ...- On Broadway!"

I remembered how easy it was sing songing that to Rachel. Both me and Quinn had agreed that it would be that exact line, in that exact tone, that would make her scuttle over to our side.  
Sure. She was a backstabbing, self absorbed diva and I despised her guts, but we could make that work for us. So me and Quinn befriended her. Simply by mentioning the Beauty and the Beast musical, which is one of my guilty pleasures, she attacked Mr. Schuester as if he was trying to steal her spotlight.

Mercedes was easy too, to win over. I noticed her staring at Finn and Quinn the other day, looking all sad, and both me and Quinn agreed she was most likely not getting any. I wasn't surprised. Not that I had anything special against the girl, but she wasn't exactly on the small side. Most guys were jerks in this school. I know, I've screwed most of them, and the rest have tried to get me to. Cheerio skirts and bed room eyes was all a guy saw in a girl at McKinley High.

I instructed Puck to meet me in the corridor, and made sure to lure him right into my arms, right in front of her.

"Come here, sexy." I purred at him, catching him by the neck. Naturally, Puck grabbed my waist, and leaned in to kiss me. I made sure to kiss him just deep enough for Mercedes to catch. I watched the gay kid come up to her, catching Quinn's eye across the hall.

"Now get going, fresh meat," I said, giving him a peck on the lips, enjoying the way his eyes revealed just how turned on he was. I felt powerful, and watched him leave with a smirk on my lips as Quinn came up by my side, letting her arm link with mine. We shared a smile as they started moving, and we followed, stalking our pray. As soon as Kurt left, I used the same trick Quinn had used on me. Linked my arm with Mercedes' to make her feel like a part of something, a chain of friendship, and then I fluffed her curls, letting Quinn do the talking. It'd been so easy – killing two geeks with the same stone.

Making Brittany back up on our encouraging glances was nothing. She'd asked me about me and Quinn having our own meetings with Sue, and I'd told her Sue thought she needed to focus on the cheerios. The truth was that we were much meaner than Brittany, and had higher status, so she still had a long way to climb up the social pyramid, even though she was in a pretty good spot on the cheerio one.

But this, I was not expecting. For Sue to use us, just as Quinn used me and Brittany had been a given, but for her to _punish _us, that just scared the shit out of me.

"Ladies, I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits."

I threw one look at Quinn, and we both did what she told us to. I usually smelled like I'd been sleeping in apricots or something, but Sue had dragged us out at the end of cheerio practice, which meant I was pretty sweaty.

"That's the smell of failure. And it's stinking up my office." I felt a lump form in my throat. Sue Sylvester was a great coach. She was the one who made us winners, but she was not the kind of woman you wanted as a role model.  
I was used to grown ups looking past me, and I was used to harassing anyone I wanted, but being picked on is really hard. I never showed off any of my flaws to other people, I made sure to keep my shell intact so that no one would be able to actually hurt me with comments. I made sure to attack quickly, so that they wouldn't get a chance to attack me. I was being a bitch not only because it came with being one of the top cheerios, but also because I needed to be. But Sue still knew my flaws, because being a top bitch on the school came with expectations. The ones that she could so easily tear down and enjoy every second of doing so. I knew how Sue Sylvester worked, and like I said. She scared the living shit out of me.

"I'm revoking your tanning privileges – for the rest of the season." I finally let the fright take over my body, and I sobbed loudly, having to get out of there. The air was way too thick.

"Oh no!" I stood up, crying over both loosing my perfect tan and for being so shallow, and stormed out of the office. "Noo!"

I hurried towards the locker rooms, trying to hide my sobs by walking fast and putting on an angry face, which fortunately I'm never far from. Finally, I busted through the door and found, luckily, peace and quiet. Everyone else had already gone home and I was guessing that Quinn would be in her huge bathtub already. Me on the other hand, would rather use these showers. A quiet school was better than a quiet home.

I dried my burning cheeks with the back of my hand and pulled off the top of my uniform, letting the sobs rock my chest and echo in the silent locker room.

"Santana...?" I cursed under my breathe, and turned around ready to pounce on the unlucky victim.

"Hey lesbo, are you spying on me-?" But the words caught in my throat as I noticed that it was Brittany.

"I'm not a lizard," she said with a straight face and took two uncertain steps towards me. She was coming from the fields, green on her knees and elbows, probably from falling. "Where does it hurt?" A sob escaped my lips and I threw the shirt in my locker, gritting my teeth to stop myself from crying.

"Look, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing," she said, somehow matter of factly. "You don't cry."

"Sure as hell don't!" I snapped at her.

"But you are now," she pointed out, speaking from close behind me.

"Oh, please. It's because I'm on the pill. I saw that wheelchair kid from glee club-"

"Artie."

"Whatever. I felt sorry for him, so I started crying. Happy?"

"Not especially. You're still sad." I couldn't believe it. Lying to Brittany was like throwing lies at a brick wall. They just came bouncing back to me. If this had been any other cheerleader, even Quinn, she would've just gotten fed up with me and left. But Brittany... she just refused to listen. Somehow, that made the lump in my throat even more painful.

"Sue cut my tanning privileges away for the rest of the season," I sighed with one more, lonely tear running down my cheek, hoping she would just laugh at me and go away already.

"Then we'll go to the local gym together," she said simply, even excitedly. I'd forgotten that Brittany wasn't one of the girls who got the chance to tan in school. Finally, that surprise turned me around and she looked at me with her deep blue eyes, worry in them. I had a hard time reading Brittany, but now it was so obvious. I looked to the side, blinking hard a few times to stop the tears and the confusion I felt.

"Santana?" she asked quietly.

"What?" I said, still masking my weakness with anger.

"Can I hug you?" I almost growled in frustration at her sweetness. How could she possibly know I wanted just that?

"No." But despite my answer, I pushed my forehead into her shoulder and she wrapped her long arms around me. It felt good. Almost too good, really.  
I kept crying quietly for a while, but allowing myself to hug her back and smell her hair. Bubblegum and lotus flowers. She smelled like a summer evening filled with promises. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time, starting to weigh down on my chest, but in a good way. I guess it was hope.

* * *

**A/N: Please give me inspiration to keep writing by telling me what you think!  
****I'm always interested in suggestions and discussions so don't hesitate to tell me!**


	4. Hummingbird Heartbeats

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.

**A/N:** I just got a new cousin, like, hours ago! So happy! So no matter how tired I am right now, having worked all day, I think you all deserved this. Oh yeah. It's first-kiss-time! ENJOY!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Hummingbird heartbeats**

**(Brittany)**

I put a hand to my ass as I shake, swishing my ponytail and letting my hand sweep back and forth in front of my face.

"_...put a ring on it!_" I felt calm in black clothes and high heels, back to focusing on a dance routine, getting the cheerios out of my head. Tina hadn't been as sure.

"D-d-d-do I r-r-r-eal-l-ly look o-okay in t-this?"  
"Dreamy, Tina. Don't worry, we're all ladies here." Had been Kurt's reply and I'd just agreed by smiling and nodding confidently.  
Now we were enjoying ourselves to one of my at the moment favourite songs. They change from week to week, but... We were all three really into it when the music was cut off by Kurt's dad.

I watched him look at his son with questioning eyes, and tuned out their voices. I had always thought Kurt seemed so sure of himself, even standing up to his bullies on the football team, but now he actually looked scared. He made me think of little baby birds and kittens out in the rain. I just wanted to pick him up and hug him to my chest to protect him from the rest of the world.

"F-f-f-football!" Tina spluttered and I looked over at her.

"Yeah, all the guys in football wear 'em. They're jock chic." A small smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. He's going to need a better lie than that.

"Totally, Kurt's on the football team now." I say, knowing exactly how to win the situation over. "He's the kicker, that's the smallest guy on the field, right?"

I knew my soccer, because Santana was the one who'd explained it all to me and I had a hard time not listening to her demanding voice. It was pretty much the only voice except for my mom's that always brought me back to reality and kept me listening.

"Yeah," Kurt quickly caught on. "Brit and Tina were just helping me with the conditioning work."

My heart skipped a beat at the nickname, as I recalled me and Santana's childhood days. I'd always been Brit to her.

"So, one of you two his girlfriend?"

I look away, obviously trying to point out that I was not gonna help Kurt stay in his box anymore... or is it, chest of drawers...? I shot a small bitchy look at him as Kurt looked quickly at me, before picking Tina to be his cover girlfriend – by slapping her ass. I open my mouth in disbelief, trying hard not to laugh and keep my cheerleader mask on. San would've died laughing if she'd been there.

* * *

"Do you think Quinn loves Finn?" I ask nonchalantly.

I sat beside Santana in Glee, fighting the sudden urge to touch her by rubbing my arm. She was smiling kindly at me, which was unusual and I felt a flicker in my chest, leaning forward.

"Are you thinking about the rumour that she slept with Puck?" I nod. "Well, do you believe it?"

"Maybe. I guess. Do you?" I ask curiously.

"Sure I do."

"Why?"

"Because I started it to shake things up a bit." She catches my shocked look and I give her a slightly confused smile. "Things were kind of boring, and I needed some drama to keep awake during second period."

"How do you know it's true?" I know Santana is good at creating drama, but that was weird. She was sleeping with Puck, why in the world would she do that?

"I don't, really." she whispers to me, and I look at her in disbelief. "It's not that strange if she did," she points out. "Puck has a huge crush on her. Besides, it gives me a better rep when I keep sleeping with the most bad ass guy at school."

"I don't really get it." I said truthfully. She studied me for a few seconds, before shaking her head again.

"Bad ass is good." I kept glancing at her, not daring to show her my confusion. I knew that bad ass was good, I was just not sure why she'd started the rumour. Santana shook her head at me.

"Never mind that, look at this instead. I got it when that, what's-her-face? Ehm, Hannah, dropped me." I looked at the bluish bruise that covered her thigh and oohed.

"That looks like it hurts, San!"

"It kind of does. But that's cheerios for you." Santana smiled at me and looked away, putting the paper with the notes in her lap for me to look at, but I let my eyes travel down the length of her legs instead, before stopping myself, wondering what the _hen_ I was doing doing.

* * *

I still couldn't believe my eyes, and suddenly I had slung my arms around Santana's neck, hugging her hard, jumping up and down and screaming.

The feeling of having succeeded at something, even if it wasn't really me, made me so happy, like when you've eaten tons of ice cream and the sugar rush is taking over! I knew everyone had doubted Kurt, and had ignored his talents merely because he liked boys. It wasn't fair, so I was seriously happy for him.  
Santana pulled me off, put our pompoms together and laughed with me. I caught a glimpse of Tine up in the crowd, with her black cloths and "bye bye kitty" t-shirt. She screamed back at me, jumpin up and down with Mercedes beside her.

"I can't believe they pulled it off!" Santana yelled. Everyone was still running around on the field, hugging and back slapping each other, while me and Santana started walking towards the locker rooms with the other girls, except for Quinn who was busy sticking her tongue down Finn's throat.  
Inside, Santana picked out her perfume and sprinkled some across her body. Then she handed it to me.  
"Wants some?" I hesitated, before taking it.  
"Thanks." A strong smell of jasmine flowers with a hint of something else, giving it an edge, crawled across my skin. I smelled like Santana, and I felt warm and cosy inside it. We pulled out our jackets and threw them on, making sure we had our cellphones with us. Santana turned to the group of cheerios, waiting for her to say something, since Quinn wasn't there.

"Okay cheerios," and the tone in her voice sounded like my mums when she spoke highly of my maths test results. "Our players have actually won!" The girls clapped their hands, threw their legs in the air and cheered. "That means there's gonna be a party – at my house. Catch a ride with the players, it's our job to treat them as winners." She winked, disturbingly flirtatious, and motioned for me to follow her while she tapped in a message on her phone.  
"Time to let the dogs loose," she hummed, pressing send, and suddenly I could hear dussins of telephones buzzing around me. "Let's go ahead and prepare."

I followed Santana to her car, jumping into the passenger seat.

"I love your car. It's so... blue." Santana just turned the car keys, and lifted one eyebrow without looking at me.

"Yeah, it's blue alright." Then she stepped on it, and except to catching her looking at me in the mirror once or twice, I let my eyes travel out to the road, turning the volume up as we listened to Single Ladies again, singing at the top of our lungs.

* * *

I was sitting across from San, since we'd been forced apart by the group.  
Boys and girls were sitting together, and tonight I was Mike's accessory, which was totally fine since he's really nice, and when he smiles, his eyes closes all the way. So does Tina's, that's because they're both Asians. Tina wasn't invited tonight, even when I told Quinn and Santana that she'd helped. Kurt was though and he sat on my other side, with Finn beside him.

I looked at Quinn leaning against her boyfriend and I think she was doing something weird with her eyes because of Kurt. He was the only one who'd changed into something else but his football jacket and jeans. He had a baby blue blouse that made him look really pretty. I'd wanted to try it on the last time I'd been at his house, but he said I had too much of a lady's lumps for it to fit. I really didn't understand that.

It's Puck's turn with the empty wine cooler. This far I'm the only one who accepted that the bottle pointed to Kurt and I only dared him to go into the kitchen and eat something out of the fridge that he didn't like. He ate a pickle, which made a lot of the guys laugh really hard, but I'm not sure why.

The others have done a lot of scary stuff. Screaming out the window, telling us who they last kissed and how many cheerleaders or football players they have kissed...

Quinn and Finn are the only ones except Kurt who aren't asked that much, or forced into doing anything. They are exclusive, as Quinn calls it, and even we know enough to lay off the "it" couple.

Puck grins as the bottle's opening points in between my knees, and I blink, waiting for the sentence.

"Truth or dare?" I was never any good at truth, and the buzz I had was way too small for me to try.

"Dare." His grin grows larger as his eyes look at my chest. I met Santana's eyes, sitting next to him, and she looked back at me with a scowl, turning to Puck.

"You can't force her to take off her shirt. You've already done that to three of us."

It was true. Both Hannah, Lisa and Mandy were sitting in their brahs and cheerio skirts, looking a little cold. God, those girls had abs. I bit my lip, letting my eyes travel across their bodies, wondering if they needed hugs to keep warm. Puck's laugh brought me back from staring at Lisa's cute, pink brah to what was happening now. He usually looked kind when he smiled. But not now. He looked really, really mean.

"Fine, babe. Brit, why don't you make out with Santana?" I wasn't surprised, I'd expected it. I'd already made out with half the squad on other occasions like this, but I'd never gotten the chance to kiss Santana. I nodded, crawling to the middle of the ring on all four, feeling like Lady in Lady and the Tramp.

It would be nice to kiss Santana. She was always nice to me – I was sure she was good too since most boys wanted to kiss her.

Santana had bigger eyes than usual, but she came towards me and got a smack on the butt by Puck on the way. She didn't seem to notice and just sat close to me, so that our knees were touching and fixed her ponytail, rolling her eyes.

"Boys." I hoped she was finished speaking by then and put my hands on her thighs as I leaned in, pressing my lips softly against hers.

I wasn't expecting her to open her mouth already on impact but she did and I felt her hot breathe on my lips. So, with a weird feeling in my stomach, I stuck my tongue inside at once for a taste, but as I did, it was as if something made Santana act like Mittens does when there's catnip around.

She leaned into me with her whole upper body, immediately letting her tongue tangle with mine. Both her hands fell on mine, pulling them higher, in under her skirt. I laughed against her lips because it made me happy that she liked my kisses. Then she bit my lower lip, and I drew a sharp intake of breathe, realizing the ingredient I had missed in her jasmine perfume. Cinnamon. It tickled my nose very sweetly, and I wanted to taste more of her, have that smell not only on my clothes and neck, but somehow on the inside of my skin.

Some guys said "wow" and some girls gasped and went "oooh" as we kissed but I turned all that off as one of Santana's hands were placed on my neck, forcing me closer, and one grabbing my inner thigh, pressing it outwards only to put her knee in between my legs.

I felt myself becoming really warm and tingly, as I put my hands on her back as she stood on her knees, straddling my left leg to tower over me somehow, taking control.

I liked kissing boys, but I always liked kissing girls so much more. Mum said it made me a delicate flower and Daphne, my little sister, said it made me just like Miss Jay on America's next top model, but she's wrong. I don't really like having sex with boys, but Santana told me that some girls have to put out, and since all the other cheerleaders were in the celibacy club, just like us, we could all help them by putting out and then we could have whoever we wanted later.

But even though it was nice to kiss boys and girls even nicer... I loved kissing Santana the most. Not because she didn't grab my tits really hard and make honking noises, or tried to do the motorboat and not even because she was a great kisser.

No, but because Santana was magic. Her breathe was breathing hummingbirds down my throat, into the pit of my stomach, where they stayed, playing some kind of game by flying around and tickling my insides. I could see their colours before my eyes. Green, and pink, blue and orange and yellow and blue. I could taste them in my mouth and feel the feathers against my beating heart.

Then Santana just took my hands, and moved away to my big dismay, crouching back. I leaned in for a second, trying to stay on her lips, before I smiled and nodded to Puck, trying to hide my heavy breathing and calm down the humming in my tummy.  
I took the bottle with me to my side of the room, giggling quietly to make Mike smile at me instead of looking like I was an Asian chocolate cake that he had to have, though I liked that too. As I spun it, the sound of glass against floor sounded over the giggles and small whispers, and I looked up at Santana, who met my gaze. Her eyes made the hummingbirds hungry for chocolate.

* * *

**A/N: Please give me inspiration to keep writing by telling me what you think! **

**I'm always interested in suggestions and discussions so don't hesitate to tell me!**


	5. The Rhodes not taken

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: Playing around with these awesome characters for fun. If only I owned them and got paid for it.

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Rhodes not taken**

**(Santana)**

Typical Puck to be the one to bring the first scandal of Glee Club into the light. In a way I was a little disappointed that it hadn't been me who'd figured it out. Then again, I'd been busy trying not to think about last weekend. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to stay away from Brittany, it just kept getting more and more inevitable. She was everywhere. Not only was she the first person my eyes searched for when I entered a room, but she somehow always seemed to gravitate to my side. She left me feeling tingly and a little too aware of myself.

When I'd entered the choir room today, she'd already been there talking to Mike and Mercedes. She'd looked up just as I entered the room, and something had passed between us. A fluttering feeling in my stomach. She'd smiled, skipped over to give me a hug and then shooed Mike off the piano chair he was sitting on. She pulled it closer to the other chairs, before pressing me down. I hadn't argued, a little shocked by her bossiness.

"You look like you need a massage," she'd said in her innocent tone of voice, before starting to rub my shoulders. My eyes fluttered half closed and I gave a small moan before I could stop myself. Brittany laughed quietly, and she kept massaging my shoulders by circling her thumbs across my skin.

"We're discussing Quinn's behaviour," she said to me. I could hear the geeks at the piano come up with silly reasons. I wondered if they actually had a point. Quinn had been acting out a lot lately.  
After a few minutes of exploring, she settled on massaging just the right spots, working out the kinks I'd had since forever. I crossed my legs and took a hold of my hand not to let out any other pleasurable sounds. I saw Mike and Matt stare at us, and caught a glimpse of Brittany winking towards them, pressing down harder on me and making me flinch and bite my lip.

But then Puck stopped fiddling with his guitar and spoke up, and his words changed everything.

"Maybe Quinn's got one in the oven." Brittany moved onto my hair, combing her fingers through it, not really paying any attention to what she was doing.

"Who's the baby's daddy?" I felt her sit down when she heard that. I mentally kicked myself for being that aware of her every movement.  
"Who do you think? Finn." Right at that moment, Midget came into the room, but no one really cared what she had to offer. Nothing could compare to this. I turned around to face Brittany, and she looked away for a second, before standing up to whisper in my ear.

"Santana, why is Quinn baking?" Her breath tickled my cheek and I held back a shiver.

"That's not what it means, Brit." I said, shaking my head.

"Does it mean she's... preggers?" Brittany whispered, so quietly I was more reading it off of her lips than actually hearing her say the words. I nodded, half smiling in disbelief. Quinn was the head of celibacy club. I knew she was sneaky, but this was just too much. I'd heard that you could see it on a person when they've lost their V card, but it just didn't look like Finn had. He looked the same as always. A little too tall with a little too long limbs, together with a brain that still seemed to belong to a 13 year old, shy boy.

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd be welcomed back with a tad more enthusiasm," Rachel moped only to be answered by a delighted Kurt.

"Sorry, Glee club has just been rocked with it's first scandal."

"Poor Quinn," Brittany whispered, putting her cheek to mine, and I stayed still, even though the touch made me loose my breathe, wanting to pull away, but at the same time wanting nothing more than the simpleness of her touch. "We should go talk to her." I wasn't sure it was the best idea. Me and Quinn had lost a lot of our closeness since she started dating Finn. But still, Brittany was probably right...

* * *

She pushed the "talking to Quinn" issue so hard, that after practice, I was seriously thinking about it. We were all three tired from Coach Sylvester making us do 50 push-ups and 30 sit-ups every time someone didn't smile to her satisfaction (and she was only ever satisfied in 1 out of a 100). I was packing my bag when Brittany was suddenly at my side, taking a hold of my wrist.

"She's leaving." she whispered loudly, so that some of the others close to our lockers looked up with questioning eyes. I saw the door close, knowing without scanning the room that it was Quinn. She had stopped changing with us, and I'd assumed it had been because she was rushing to meet Finn, but...

"Let's go," I said to Brittany and she followed me, after a rushed Quinn through an empty, grey looking corridor. It was late afternoon and the sun had somehow disappeared through a bundle of clouds. Brittany hurried past me now, calling the Head Cheerleaders name. She turned and smiled, a little dryly.

"Brittany, Santana. Aren't you gonna shower?"

"We thought we'd get home early," I said, coming up on her right, Brittany on her left.

"I need to work on my letter of recommendations to Hogwarts." Brittany said, face blank. Quinn looked at me for an answer, and since I didn't have one, I shrugged.

We started walking together towards the exit.

"So, how are you really, Quinn?" Quinn gave me a side look, and I knew she was suspicious. I never asked her how she felt, we just dealt with our problems by being bitchy towards others together. It was a great way to get out your anger and frustration. That and sex.

"I'm fine," she said, looking forward, content on getting to her car. She pushed her hand into her bag and brought out her phone.

"You've been out of it, lately." I told her, flat out. She ignored me.

"Typical," she muttered. "I've been having trouble with the food after drinking that mix Coach gave us last week." The knot of worry and hope untied, and I felt relief and disappointment wash over me.

"Oh, yeah. It taste like total shit." I retorted, and Quinn just gave a:

"Mhhmm," as an answer. "I haven't been able to keep my food down, which is a good sign I guess."

"I put sand in mine," Brittany added. I just ignored her, though my head was screaming: "WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT DID YOU DRINK SAND?"

"Yeah, it's really effective. Mix that with practice and wine coolers and you've really got something."

"Are you really feeling okay. It's not because you're... baking, is it?" I knew that Brittany meant well, but that just made me want to seriously ask her what she was doing. Asking Quinn flat out would not work. But before I could react, Quinn's hand shot out in front of me, and I stopped.

"Lend me your car, S." I looked at her, raising a shocked eyebrow.

"I'm not lending you my rhinestone," I said, crossing my arms. "You'd wreck her."

"Since when did "it" become a "her"?" Quinn snapped at me.

"Since she's my car." Quinn gave me one of her famous "are-you-serious?" looks and wiggled her fingers on her still outstretched hand. Brittany was standing a few paces away from us, seeming to examine the water fountain. I caught a glimpse of her pressing down, looking all riled up about the water jumping out in a little arch.

"I need to pick up my mom for church and since Finn gave me a ride this morning and is now stuck at friggin' practice, I have to pick her up somehow." I walked around Quinn's hand and faced her, swishing my ponytail and crossing my arms over my chest for full effect.

"Find another way home then, Q."

"I could give you a ride home, Santana." We both looked at Brittany, who was smiling towards me. "It would only take a little while."

"See, you got yourself a ride," Quinn said, bossily but with a smile, and put the other hand on her hip. "Keys." I let my eyes go up and down on her posture, and then, to my dismay, my hands acted on their own free will, pulling out the keys and dangling them in front of Quinn.

"If you wreck my beaut-" She stole them out of my hands.

"Simmer down, S. It's just a car." Then she was out the door. Me and Brittany walked out slowly, watching her start my baby up, running the motor way too harsh. Now my seats would smell of her perfume for days.

Brittany caught my eye, and nodded.

"That was very nice of you, Santana." I just sighed, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you're giving me a ride home, so..."

"Yep. Let's go over to my house." I stopped in my tracks.

"What?" Brittany smiled.

"My car is at home. It's only a ten minute walk from here." She pressed her books to her chest, starting to walk with long strides down the street. I slung my bag over my shoulder, staring at her red and white back in disbelief, before hurrying up to her side.

"Really, you walked to school this morning?"

"It was sunny."

"When you have a car?"

"It wasn't raining." I shook my head, in shock of how natural it sounded. Then I felt the first drop, and I knew we were in trouble.

"It's gonna fucking rain now!" I blurted out, just as the sky seemed to open up and a whole ocean washed over us. Brittany took my hand and started pulling me with her, running.

"I know a quicky!" she called over the noise, rushing in through some bushes, jumping a fence like she was walking over it with her tall legs.

We ran across two major lawns with slides and sandboxes and I could feel the cold drops slap my cheeks. Brittany's hand slid away from mine as she ran, her cheerios uniform already clinging to her body like a second skin – but then again, it always did. We jumped over a fence and then jogged across a street, in through a gate and finally, stopped on a big porch. I was trying to catch my breath as I noticed the elephantine garden. There were about four trees and what looked like a small pond, with flowers popping up everywhere. The house was a colour of lemon yellow, looking like the sun was shining on it despite the rain. I looked at Brittany, who caught my eye and started laughing.

"You're so wet!" she exclaimed, making me laugh too, thinking inappropriate thoughts.

"Well, we got our shower," I smiled at her, wondering how being both cold and wet could ever feel so good. I could see the water streaming down her face from her hair, then looking down I saw her knees shivering. I felt her hand on my arm, had a flash back of her warm lips and snapped back up.

"You've got goosebumps," she said quietly. I looked at her eyes, feeling like the water had reached my lungs. "Let's go inside."

She brought out her keys from the bag and as soon as she put the key in the lock, a bark was heard from inside. Naturally, I took a few steps back. I hated dogs, they were so _dumb_, obeying whatever you told them to do. Besides, they smelled bad and if you patted one you wouldn't get rid of the stench for days. I was surprised I hadn't smelt the dog on Brittany before.

A huge honey coloured monster pushed its nose through the door, rushing out with open mouth to do a run around Brit, before acknowledging me by barking and waving it's tail like crazy, trying to sniff my hands that I was holding to my chest.

"Move over, dog," I barked right back at it, but it didn't do any good.

"Sit." Brittany's sweet but firm way to say the word made the dog sit down immediately, craning it's neck back to look at her. I didn't know why, but somehow, that voice she had used made me feel a bit turned on. I shook the revelation off and looked up at her, then at the dog, and back again.

"This is Bailey," she smiled at me. "We've had her for three years." She reached over to pat her, and Bailey sat still, but closed her eyes and leaned her head into Brittany's hand.  
"She's... I don't really like dogs." I admitted, seeing Brittany's eyes grow wide and a little sad.  
"Oh, but she's really not dangerous at all!" she said, her hand shooting out to pull me closer. "Come on, she's not gonna bite you!"  
"No, it's not-" but it was no use. Brittany thought I was scared of the thing, and maybe I was a little, but it was mostly the part about dogs smelling each others butts that freaked me out. She just placed my hand on top of it's head.

"See, she's super trained! You could make her wear a dress and she still wouldn't move!" Something told me Brittany had tried that, and I believed her. Brittany guided my hand across the head, up and down a few times, and the monster just looked up at me with a raised eyebrow, waiting patiently for me to be done with massaging her head.

"Yeah, she's... cool." I said, the words finally making Brittany let go of my hand, which I pulled away, holding away from my clothes as if the stench would spread like Mono.

"Come on in!" The mutt lead the way inside, and I stepped into the hall that was quite huge, with light walls and a big staircase to my right.

"I'll give you the tour as soon as we've dried off," Britt stated and went up the staircase. I quickly pulled off my shoes, staring back at the dog that was now sitting across the hall, staring at me.

"What?" I asked it, but it just put it's head on a tilt at my words. I followed Britt up the stairs, looking around as I came to the second floor. The house was quiet, but I could hear Brittany moving around somewhere down the hall. I looked around, seeing old pictures of her family and Bailey. In one of them was girl about 11, grinning back at me and showing off her braces. The girl looked a lot like Britt, but I knew for a fact that it had to be her little sister, Daphne. I couldn't believe how big she looked. Last I'd seen of her, she'd been 3.

"Santana, come here," I saw Brittany stick out her head two doors away, and I moved over to her.

"Here you go!" she smiled as I appeared in the doorway, just barely managing to catch the towel she threw at me. She had already stripped out of her uniform, standing before me in a bluish bra and black panties, making my heart stumble and miss a beat.

I reached up to pull out my hair, before letting the folded towel unfold itself and threw it on top of my head, trying to dry my now evident curls.

"I'll go get some clothes for us," Brittany said, and left the bathroom. I looked after her in the mirror, before dropping the towel to the floor and leaning closer. My mascara had turned into huge smudges around my eyes, and I looked like a tanned panda. Pulling the top of the uniform over my head, I looked around the bathroom. It was light blue, with heated floor and a bathtub with lion feet. I hang up the top beside Brittany's on the side of the bathtub, pulling off my skirt and adding that too. My underwear was wet too, but I decided I'd just take off the bra and let the panties stay wet.

Something sounded down the hall, scratching footsteps, and when I turned around, big brown eyes were watching me. Bailey waved her tail slightly at the sight of me I scrunched up my nose and turned on the tap to wash away the stench on my hand from before.

I took soap twice, and washing, before doing it once more. I was watching the dog in the mirror, making sure it stayed outside of the bathroom. I picked up the towel from the floor, only to turn back to the mirror, drying myself off.

"Don't even think about it," I mumbled more to myself than the dog.

"Think about what?" Brittany had appeared in the reflection now, dressed in a big, bright pink sweater and cosy pyjamas pants. In her hands she held another blue pair just like them, and a black shirt with something red on it. I smiled at her as she handed it to me, looking at the letters on the t-shirt.

"_Worlds greatest sister_" I smiled at Brittany who sat down on the side of the bathtub, Bailey close by her side. I pulled on the pants and shirt, before reaching back and unclasping my bra. Usually I would've just thrown off the bra before, but for the first time since, like, ever, I felt shy flashing my boobs.

"Thanks," I said, as I pulled the bra out from under the shirt.

"I got it from Samantha," she answered, smiling slightly at me. "She bought it when she went to Spain." I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded. Brittany looked at me, patted the monster absent-mindedly and I looked at the dog, trying to control the thoughts in my head.

"Santana-" I looked up at her, heart rushing when I met her intense stare, and looked back at the dog.

"Yeah?"

"Where did the sexy giant elephant hide in glee club today?" I swallowed and shrugged. The memory stung my conscience, but the truth was that I'd done it on purpose. I always did it on purpose, especially with the gay kid. He just annoyed the hell out of me. Going around talking, walking and dressing like a typical out gay dude, he might as well have been carried by a muscular tranny in short skirt, waving the rainbow flag as he walked down the corridor.

"_Could we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?"  
"Your sexuality?"_ I'd smiled an evil smile at that, but I'd felt that familiar feeling of the comment hitting close to home. Not that I was gay! Gosh, fuck, never. But then again... I was thinking about that kiss an awful lot. I'd actually gone as far as thinking about it while having sex with Puck, which was _so_ not okay. We lived in a small town that still believed that football, beer and porn were God's greatest gifts to mankind. Not many people were ready to even acknowledge the existence of homosexuality, let alone accepting that some of their closest friends, children, teachers and parents were in fact gay or bi. I mean, I didn't care much for labels. Heck, I made out with girls all the time, but never without an audience. Fine if you liked that sort of thing. My eyes might slip once in a while over some girls legs or chest, and I might have some sexual fantasies I would like to try out, but I wasn't gonna go put myself in some kind of box. If I was anything, I was a sex loving cheerleader, who brings it on whenever she gets the chance.

Be gay, fine. But don't expect me to wave that flag with you. There's one thing more important than supporting what you think is right, and that is reputation. You are what people see you as. Sad but true, a truth I learned to accept a long time ago.

"It wasn't actually and elephant, Brittany." I started, realizing someone had to tell her, so why not me. "You sometimes say that when a something, let's say a subject, is hanging around and everybody thinks about it but no one says anything." She studied me intently with those innocent, wide eyes and I realized I was using big words, sounding book smart. For once, I didn't really care.

"But why an elephant?"

"Because it's as invisible as an elephant. If there actually was a giant elephant in a room, it wouldn't be able to hide, right? Everyone would see it." I waited for her to think, then nod as she'd understood. "So the subject is too big to hide as well." She was quiet, then:

"So you said that Kurt being gay was as obvious as an elephant in the room, when Kurt was talking about Rachel having quit Glee club." I let a small smile tug at the corner of my lips.

"Exactly." She smiled at me too, the dog standing up and looking from me to Brit and back again, waving it's tail encouragingly.

"Then let's talk about this giant elephant in the room," she said, smiling. I stopped smiling, feeling confused but trying to hide it. "Where's our hot chocolate?" she giggled, reaching out for my hand and pulling me with her, the yellow thing dancing around us, trying to make me trip over it.

Just as we got downstairs, the door opened and a woman with a just as blond mop of hair as Brittany appeared in the doorway. She was carrying a huge tray with a towel draped over it, and with her came the smell of daffodils, sugary icing and freshly baked muffins.

She turned around as Brittany squealed ("Mum!") and gave us the brightest, most heart warming smile. I felt like I'd never been cold and wet in the first place.

"Girls! Am I happy to see you home." Her German accent made her sound a little brisk, but her voice was as smooth as honey. "You're just in time to taste my newest experiment." She whispered the last part with a conspiratorial tone and walked into what I assumed was the kitchen, the plate of hidden goods leading the way. Brittany smiled at me, then took my hand and pulled me after her. I craned my neck to look at the sofa in one corner, the open door to what seemed to be another bedroom, and then I felt my world cringe when I felt the smell of muffins.

Brittany's mom, Silke, was looking at me with those same wide eyes as Brittany's, but instead of being innocent, they were filled with motherly experience and love. I almost took a step back, feeling overwhelmed by that vibe she was giving, looking at me like I was a masterpiece of some kind. Her eyes crinkled at the sides as she dried off her flour covered hands on the pink apron and hurried over to give me a huge hug. I hugged her back, not knowing what to do, fighting the urge to close my eyes, breathe in and cry for a bit.

"Gosh, Santana!" She remembered me. Of course she did, she had been like the mother opposite of what I'd had. She took a step back, still holding onto my upper arms, looking me up and down.

"Holy buns, you've grown up to be such a woman!" Her words made me feel small and needy, and embarrassed, which I never felt. Ever.

"Thank you, Mrs. Pierce," I mumbled.

"Oh, don't be bashful, dear! And please call me Silke." She almost sang at me, laughing that laugh that sounded like it was coming from a happy hen, clucking. "And no wonder Brittany hasn't stopped talking about you since we moved here!" Now I was blushing too! My eyes crept to Brittany at my side, and she was smiling and looking at me, pink evident on her cheeks too.

"Oh well, now onto the experiment!" Silke exclaimed and rushed over to pull the towel off the plate. The muffins were made of chocolate, pretty dark, it looked, with yellow icing and silver balls on top. She picked to up and put in our hands, telling us to eat.

I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I remembered Silke's baking skills and I didn't want to be rude.

"Go on!" she urged me. I poked back the paper and bit into it. A strong taste of chocolate hit me, mixed with cinnamon and the sweetness of the icing, which seemed to be tasted with oranges. I sighed, chewing away at big bits of chocolate and soon taking another bite.

"Well...?" Silke said, looking at us with expectant eyes.

"These are amazing, Mrs. Pierce!"

"Silke, dear," she said, laughing slightly. "And thank god you like them. I got a little carried away with the vanilla and cinnamon." I shook my head, chewing on my third bite.

"No, not at all. It's like a food orga-" I almost choked on the piece, hoping she hadn't heard me since I'd had muffin in my mouth. "- eh, explosion!"

"They aren't as good as the ones you did last week, but they're good, mum." Brittany said. I was almost in shock. You could actually get used to having a mum like this? Silke smiled knowingly.

"I thought you would say that. But then again, you've always liked strawberries more than oranges," she clucked.

"Dad'll love them, though," Britt said, smiling towards her mother, chewing.

"Oh, your father loves sweets, especially orange once, so I'm sure you're right. He'll be home any minute now. So will Daphne." I felt myself grow small beside Brittany, searching my head for an escape.

"I better start making dinner," Silke mumbled, looking at the clock above the stove. "Would you stay for dinner, Santana dear?" Two pairs of wide blue eyes stared me down, but I swallowed the piece of cake in my mouth and said:

"I'm really sorry, but my parents will be waiting for me for dinner." I saw the expectation in Brittany's eyes fall, and her smile faded, but Silke's didn't.

"Oh well, some other time then. I'll make sure to cook lasagne, it used to be your favourite if I remember correctly." She winked at me.

"You're right," I smiled politely, and ignored Brittany's hurt look.

"How about this friday?" I swallowed, thinking of an excuse but couldn't find any. Oh heck, why not. Brittany's eyes had lit up again too, and I didn't want to smother the light in them.

"Why not? Sounds great." I answered, smiling. Silke gave me huge hug, and Brittany followed me to the door.  
"I'll drive you."

"It's only a ten minute walk or something," I protested, needing time to think.

"I wish you would stay longer," she said in a sad voice, pouting.

"I'll go home with you straight after school this Friday, okay?" Her lips stretched out into a smile instead, and she threw her arms around me, placing a kiss on my cheek that made my eyes feel hot and my heart take flight.

"That's perfect, Santana!" I stood there, a little dumbfounded, as I saw the dog coming down the stairs, showing off it's teeth and tongue. I smiled at Brittany and went out before she would force me to stay pat that thing again.

"You can give me my clothes tomorrow," I called over my shoulder. "Bye!"

I swung the door shut in her face, standing still on the porch for a second, letting out a breath. I was invited to an actual family dinner... the realization dawned on me, and I panicked slightly. What were you supposed to wear? I couldn't exactly go in my cheerio costume.

"Fucking hell." I swore to myself, suddenly realizing I was staring at a grey, white and black figure luring at me from under the tree on the other side of the garden. Brittany's cat. I knew she had one, because she'd mentioned it about ten times since I met her. I stepped out from the porch, looking up at the sky, a little surprised.

It had stopped raining.

* * *

**A/N: Please give me inspiration to keep writing by telling me what you think! **

**I'm always interested in suggestions and discussions so don't hesitate to tell me!**


	6. Vitamin D

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: Playing around with these awesome characters for fun. If only I owned them and got paid for it.

**A/N:** **Me and my beta reader Jasse had a half an hour discussion about what exactly Santana would say to Bailey... so, please tell me if it was good enough for you, and please come with ideas what she should do to the poor dog!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Vitamin D**

**(Brittany)**

I saw Santana flinch in the mirror, her eyes darkening as she concentrated on plucking her right brow. For once I wasn't mesmerized by a cheerleader's behind, but I was more concentrated on the expressions in her eyes in the reflection. She noticed me looking then, and gave a raise of her frshly plucked eyebrow. I winked at her, making that tickling smile tug at the side of her lips as she tried to stop it, before turning my back towards her. Then I breathed out deeply, before taking a hold of my foot and raising my leg high up into the air.

Rachel came in, and I gave her a side look before pushing my leg even straighter. Holding her hands together in front of her like that with those clothes made her look like a worried teacher and the lost kindergarten boy at the same time.

"Okay girls, we need to get started."

"We're getting warmed up." Santana's soft and annoyed voice told me that Rachel had startled her. Not that she would let it show, of course.

"Where's Quinn?" I knew everyone was expecting Santana to answer, but instead I repeated the words that had come out of her mouth when I'd asked her the same thing this morning.

"Probably down at the mall, looking for elastic waist pants." I smiled cheekily at that, trying not to laugh, looking at Santana as she turned around, giving me a encouraging smile and a nod. The girls laughed and I felt my heart race with the excitement. It was the first time I really felt seen by the others in glee club. Rachel wasn't happy, but I didn't care much for her. Neither did anyone else, that I knew of. Besides, she was mean to everyone, and I didn't like that. And it wasn't like Santana, she was just being honest. At least, that's what she always told me.

* * *

After the show I was laughing and clapping along with the rest of them.

The boys had been amazing! In the beginning I had been crossing my arms over my chest, trying not to take on the explosion of sounds, but I'd quickly been pulled into it. Finn and the others had been so full of energy, I'd just wanted to join them so badly up on the stage.

I pulled the bangs out of my eyes, feeling Santana's upper arm graze against mine.

"Awesome guys!" Mr Schuester looked like he was going to pee in his pants.

"That was so camp rock!" I mumbled out loud, and Santana laughed beside me.

"I'm s-s-so in l-love wit Art-t-tie!" Tina said to Mercedes in a hushed whisper, and me and Santana happily swung our legs on the side of the table.

"I wonder if he would give me a ride." I said to Santana, smiling. She rolled her eyes at me and I nodded my head sideways, pretending to be checking him out.

"You ladies better bring it tomorrow, otherwise..."

No, that wouldn't happen. I felt Mercedes look at me, and when I had a quick look in Tina's direction, her smile had faded. It had been a joke, but maybe I'd said something wrong. Truth be told, I'd always wanted to try being in a wheelchair... and I had a lot of reasons pointing to the fact that Artie was a robot from outer space.

I noticed Rachel's bitter frown. She stared at the guys as if she was trying to set them on fire. They were kind of already on fire, but I didn't mention that. Instead I let my arm brush against her, hoping to reassure her in my cheerleading glory.

"It'll be fine." But no, Rachel didn't look fine. And I thought she wasn't when she was telling us over and over again for about an hour how good they'd been.  
I assumed she wasn't when we were all swallowing those pills in the office of the scary new school nurse who, juts like Miss Pillsbury, had the hots for Mr. Schuester.  
I knew it when we were rehearsing steps that Rachel had come up with, as I made suggestions followed by a roar of positivity.  
I defiantly knew she wasn't when she suggested we would all wear yellow and headbands to match her song choices. It was sometimes by then that I also knew that none of us other girls were fine either, because it was something none of us usually would be caught dead in.

But neither of that really mattered, because we really did feel fine. We felt more than fine, we all felt awesome. It was like being drunk times a hundred, without the barfing and feeling sick afterwards. Me and the others had never been as close, everything anyone said was hilarious and we had the energy to practice all Thursday afternoon, and then the whole lunch break at Friday.

And when we danced... it was like we were all parts of the actual sun, bouncing off of shiny surfaces in the summer. Every move I made radiated with light and the guys staring made me even more excited, showing off more of what was under my skirt than I needed to.

Besides that, there was one thing that stood above everything else in being so high on life. It was the way Santana looked. Her every move caught onto me, and I moved with her. Every time she touched me the hummingbirds seemed to shoot up into the sky of my chest like fireworks, only to burst into a hundred new ones.

After the performance we ran out of there, hand in hand, getting our bags and giving everyone hugs, which was so unlike us. I loved hugs, but Santana said cheerleaders saved theirs for other cheerleaders and boys, so I'd stopped.

Then, with our bags and yellow sun dresses on we rushed out to my car. Katy Perry's voice boomed out of the stereo as I started the engine, and I started to shout out the words as we left the parking lot.

"_I kissed a girl, and I liked it!_" I felt more giggly then usually, singing those words. It was like everything in my mind was covered in yellow duckling feathers. Shiny, fluffy and bright in my head and in my chest. I felt her eyes on me, and it made me sing even louder, wanting to tell her that I did like kissing her, so much.

"_It felt so wrong, it felt so right!_" I shouted, not caring that the lyrics stated that I wasn't in love. In this exact moment, it didn't matter. What mattered was that we had kissed and that I had liked it.

"_I liked it!_"

* * *

Me and Santana tumbled through the door in a fit of giggles, met by Bailey's excited barks and jumps. Then there they all were, and Santana became a little less giggly and a little shy. She reached out her hand to take my dad's hand, and he shook it with a steady shake. My dad was a veterinarian, so he was used to handling shy animals.

"Santana Lopez," he said in his brass tube voice. "You've grown into a full fledged female, haven't you?" I looked at Santana, who laughed a little.

"I guess I have, Mr. Pierce." Dad's eyes crinkled like they always did when he liked someone.

"Oh, call me Bernard if you don't mind. Everyone always call me Dr. Pierce at the office, and it makes me sick of it at the end of the day. Here we're all family." He spread his hands, and patted Santana's shoulder. She was ready for it, since she's been getting those shoulder pats ever since we were small and she's been protecting me. She rocked slightly, but stood her ground. That made my dad's eyes crinkle even more.

"Fine, I wouldn't want you get sick when we're gonna eat Silke's awesome lasagne," Santana grinned, making mum and dad laugh. Then, behind mum, my little sister took a peek.

"Hi there, Daphne. Is that really you?" Mum stepped aside, leaving Daph exposed. She looked a little panicky, before swallowing hard and reaching out a hand.

"Yep, that's me. Is that really you?" Santana laughed, taking my sister's hand in hers, shaking it like she was an adult too. "It really is me. You're a person now and not just a baby anymore," she stated.

"Of course I'm no baby!" Daphne exclaimed, wide eyed. "I'm turning 11 this September!"

"Oh, definatly not, then. The things I did when I was 11! You're getting old!" Daphne gave her a "are-you-serious?" -look, before smiling at me.

"I like her, sis. Now could we please eat? I'm starving. Santana, could you sit by me? Santana, Brittany, do you see the plates and the napkins? I set the table all by myself. Mum always makes me do it, so I'm practically and expert at it now. Maybe I should go to other families and set their tables for money. Santana, do you like bunnies? Because we have one, and he would love to meet you, I just know it!"

All this she said in one breath, typically Daphne and I looked over at Santana as we sat down, wondering how she took it. Some people thought it was annoying, but she was smiling slightly. It suited her.

"So tell me now, ladies. Why are you both dressed in yellow?" Dad asked us, and I leaned into the table, giving Santana the salad while starting to tell them about our performance. Santana soon joined in, and we both talked like sis, finishing each others sentences and laughing loudly, not really caring if something wrong slipped out. It was like we were winding forward really fast, and didn't stop to think what we were actually saying. But my parents listened, and nodded and mum told us about her new muffins selling and dad told us about the strange patients he'd gotten today, and it was all really, really nice.

As we ate and laughed at Daphne's animated story about her best friend Peter putting pees up his nose, my hand searched for Santana's thigh under the table. She let her fingers brush against the back of my hand, before entwining her pinky with mine, shooting me a side glance. I smiled, trying to eat my food but having a hard time swallowing and smiling so brightly at the same time.

Santana felt like a part of my family, a part of my home. And I knew I always wanted her here, because somehow during all of these years, she'd been a missing piece... without any one of us ever even noticing it. You know, the way you always have one more chair at the table, in case you have a guest, but it's not just for any guest but you're thinking of a special person when you buy that chair. People rarely sat in the same chair when there was guests over anyway, but when it was just me, Daphne and my parents we had our same seats and that one was always left unseated, as if it was meant for someone special. It was Santana's chair.

After dinner and three pieces of mum's amazing chocolate and strawberry cake, me and Santana went up to my room. Santana said she wanted to inspect my wardrobe, and I didn't mind.

Bailey went after us with her happiest smile, and I knew she liked Santana a lot. She looked up at her all of the time, before looking at me and doing her eyebrow dance. I think she was really curious about my new, good smelling friend.

"You have to meet Mittens!" I shouted as I got up the stairs, running down the hall to my room. Santana laughed behind me, starting to run too. I threw myself on the bed so that Mittens sat up in a sleepy I-just-woke-up-from-my-really-nice-nap haze and blinked at me. I gave scratched the side of her ear, and she closed her eyes again, relaxing into my hand and purring loudly. I looked up to smile, and saw Santana standing and leaning against the door, having shut Bailey out, staring at the room and then me.

"This is totally up my alley." I felt my chest swell with pride.

"Yeah, she's awesome."

"No, I-" she paused, smiling. "Well, yeah, but your room, BrittBritt!"

My high didn't allow me to feel down about my misinterpretation.

"Oh!" I giggled back. "Come here and cuddle Mittens." Santana, unlike with Bailey, took three full strides, plopping down on my bed and stuck her face close to my cat. Mittens sniffed her politely, before reaching out and rubbing her cheek. Santana closed her eyes at that and I could hear her breathe in. She looked... for the first time I think, she looked peaceful. I leaned down too, using it as an excuse to breathe in her cinnamon and jasmine smell, and put my face close to mittens. Santana opened her eyes and stared right into mine, making me think of the sun shining through a glass of coke. Bubbly, tempting and so tasty.

"Wardrobe!" she exclaimed, winking at me and hopping up to fling the doors wide open. She ran her fingers through my dresses and shirts. I lay back, patting Mittens and just watched her.

I felt like I'd poured the colour of her eyes into my mouth, and that it was now boiling inside me.

She went to my mirror, opening my jewellery box, and yelped.

"Britt, you still have this?" Before I knew it I had left the bed and was tsanding beside her. She turned around, holding our old friendship bracelet between her fingers. I touched it.

"Of course, San. I still wear it sometimes when I'm scared," I revealed in a whisper. She was looking at me, I felt it, but I didn't look up to see her reaction. Instead I let my fingers move from the bracelet to across her thumb, then against her wrist, carefully stroking. I felt her breathe in a shaky breathe, and I looked up to see those eyes burning holes through mine. I bet she wasn't used to not taking the first step, and even though the sunny pill helped me to be bolder, like the princes in the fairytales, I knew I would've done this sooner rather than tomorrow.

She opened her mouth slightly, as if to say something, but then she stayed quiet, almost closing her eyes as my fingers tickled her arm and shoulder. Up and down and around and oh, the way her eyelids were moving at my touch. Her, long black hair flowing over her shoulders, and I gently pushed them aside. Santana held her breathe, it seemed. I felt shaky with excitement as she looked up at me, and I stepped that one step closer and leaned to her side to smell her neck.

As I did the coke had reached my hummingbirds, and caffeine was really bad for them. They started climbing on the walls of my stomach, and the seconds where I stood there taking it all in I realized that her skin also smelled like crushed almonds. I felt that the moments before taking the first step hurt like when you get stung by a wasp. Kind of like cramps, pulsating, but in my chest. But it was the good kind – like when you do sit-ups and it burns and is a pain, but in the end your stomach's flatter. I though of how my heart would be fuller, and then I leaned forward, trying to give her a light kiss on her neck.

She let go of her breathe, and I kissed her skin again, and again, and again, and again crawling up towards her ear... She was burning my lips, and I added some tongue and teeth, wanting to actually taste her. She put her hands in my hair and on my arms, then after her slightly muffled noise, like a cat saying hello, she took a hold of my cheek, pressing my face to hers, immediately catching my lips, holding them there, shaking. I forgot to think.

We both moaned quietly and I felt Santana's mouth hard against mine, kissing again and her hands on my hips and then there was a bang on the door and a bark and we sprung apart. My hand covered my mouth, and Santana put her arms across her chest, and we both stared at sweet Bailey who'd been shut out and had somehow gotten the handle pushed down. She hated being left out. Maybe it was time she learned that she couldn't be here when I was doing grown up stuff. And it was time to get the key to that lock on the door.

"Santana, sis!" Daphne appeared in the doorway, and Bailey stepped aside, smiling at her and then at me and Santana. "Could we play PS2, pleeeeaaaaassseee!" I glanced at Santana, who met my eyes, and then looked away, putting the bracelet on the bureau, nodding. Daphne had definatly noticed our quietness.

"Why are you so quiet, and why are you all read in the face? Have you two been talking about boys...? Or well, other stuff... Or, oh my god, have you been talking about kissing?"Santana smiled at that, and I ignored my little sister.

"Sure, Daphne. How about Buzz?" I loved that game.

"Oh okay. I'll get Pan!" She disappeared down the hall and I followed, giving Santana a glance. She was walking past the dog with an evil look in her eye, whispering;

"Oh, it's on." I stopped at that, but seeing Daphne stopping to wait for us down the hall, I just waited for her to come up beside me before whispering the question.

"Santana, what's on?" She ignored me, but I asked her again. "What's on?"

"Nothing, BrittBritt. So, what's Buzz?" I forgot it then and there, starting to jump up and down.

"Oh, it's the best game ever! It's so awesome I could die!"

I ran down the stairs, Santana and Bailey behind me, and we both ran past mum and dad on the living room couch to the other side of the living room, to the play station area. We plopped into the sofa, leaving the armchair for Daph.

"Where did she go?" Santana asked, pulling her legs up beside her, and I stretched out my feet so that they almost touched hers, pretending like I wasn't planning to do it.

"Santana, Santana! This is Pan!"

"Speaking of the devil," Santana muttered, and looked at the rabbit in Daphne's arms. He looked like a fluffy apricot of some kind, all beige and lovely with his two huge black eyes.

Daphne sat on our feet, and I quickly pulled mine away.

Pan turned his head towards Santana, and I could see him pushing with his back legs to get a proper look.

"Pan, as in Peter Pan?" Santana laughed. I gave her a serious face, wondering why she thought he looked like Peter Pan. Our Pan wasn't red haired.

"No, short for Pancakes." Santana's eyes looked into mine, and she went serious too.

"Oh."

"Do you want to hold her?" My little sister asked, pushy as always.

"Nah, thanks. I'm good. Are we playing this or what?" So while I turned on the game and gave everyone controls, I managed to get Daphne to put down Pancakes on the floor to jump around while she sat in the armchair so we wouldn't see what buttons she would push.

Then I sat back, and as we started the game I let my toes touch the upper side of her foot. I felt Santana shiver slightly, before rubbing her feet more against mine.

"What kind of animal is Oliver from the Disney movie "Oliver & Company"?"

"I know this one, I know this one!" I cried, pushing the orange button over and over again. Santana's laugh rang out beside me.

"Geesh, wonder what that could be." Santana said, rolling her eyes at me, tickling the underside of my feet, and I wondered if this was all the work of those vitamins. Because if it were, I wanted at least ten more packages.

* * *

**A/N: Please give me inspiration to keep writing by telling me what you think! **

**I'm always interested in suggestions and discussions so don't hesitate to tell me!**


	7. Throwdowns

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: Playing around with these awesome characters for fun. If only I owned them and got paid for it.

**A/N:** **Sorry about the long wait!  
It's not that I haven't been inspired, it's just that I've been at a loss for what to write. This is a pretty sweet chapter, with them fighting against jumping each other. But don't worry, we'll get to that soon. I have to have them rolling around in the hay before episode 13! =3 enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Throwdowns

**(Santana)**

"Fine, go ahead! Take all the football players and your Cheerios" Mr. Schue tells coach angrily. But she just ignores him, her face shadowed by that scary determination that it always has. I mask it as well as I can, but the truth is that having her here kind of disturbs me. I liked that there was one place in this school that Sue couldn't reach in and touch us.

"Alright, listen up! When your name is called step over to my side of this black, shiny thing." I recognize Brittany's giggle, but nobody else seems to notice.

"It's a piano, Sue." Mr. Schue looks like he wants to be crushed underneath it.

"Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid, Asian, Other Asian, Arethia and Shaft..." I'm surprised to hear my actual name, and not just be referred to as Lopez. I smile at the acknowledgment, even though I didn't miss the fact that Brittany didn't end up in my group. "See Will...I don't want to participate in a group that ignores the needs of Minority Students." It's more obvious than ever that Coach Sylvester was once the motherfucking cheerleader of cheerleaders. Now she even overrules the top bitch of the school. If she hadn't been the manlike monster she was now, I'd strived to be like her.

"You've got be kidding me!"

"Oh I'd never kid about this Will. Maybe that's you're problem. Bigotry is no laughing matter." I laugh a little too mean at that, enjoying this as much as the next girlfriend who doesn't get the solos she deserves. Not that I care, really. It's just Glee club after all.

"And that's how Sue Sees it." I grin, knowing I'm hurting everyone in this room and enjoying it even more. I even hold up my hand like she does on her show, giving her thanks for the respect she showed me by using my first name. I'm more used to Lopez, or well, Satan, which I'm pretty convinced is a nickname that Quinn started.

"_Outstanding_."

* * *

"I can't believe he'd do this!" Quinn's voice is anger personified, but her eyes are frightened. Brittany and I share a look, and I know that we're both relieved that we won't be the ones to inform Sue. That's the head cheerleaders job.

"At lest he didn't flunk us..." Brittany said, smiling encouragingly. "He likes us."

"That's because if he did we couldn't come to Glee club!" Quinn said, viscously. Brittany looked down, even if she was used to her outbursts she wasn't used to being yelled at. By anyone.

"He wouldn't have had to anyway," I told Brittany. "I speak fluent Spanish and Quinn gets A's on everything."

"But I don't. I suck at Spanish, I don't even understand the instructions how to open the Spanish book. Do I read it from right to left, like with the Japanese books? I just don't get anything. He gave me an F+ today." My mouth fell open.

"But then he flunked you too! Why are you here?"

"Because we have cheerleading practice..." she looked at me, confusion across her face. "Mr. Schue doesn't decide if I go to practice or not. Only coach can decide that."

Quinn just rolled her eyes at that, starting to mutter to herself. Brittany looked at me instead.

"You can put your foot on my shoulder to stretch if you want..." I smiled at her.

"Thanks." I could feel her fingertips brushing against my skin as our arms intertwined. She leaned forward, sticking her butt out, and the grip we had on each other was the only thing keeping us from falling. The pain of the stretch was nothing compared to the heat that started glowing where her fingers touched my upper arms. Even though it was windy outside today, so that the warmth shouldn't bother me too much, I felt my throat dry up, keeping me from breathing properly. Brittany glanced at me, looking bothered by something. My thumb circled over her skin before I could stop to think rationally, to remember that I was in the middle of the football field with nowhere to hide and Quinn standing just beside us. Brittany locked eyes with me, and I knew she nearly forgot about all that too. For the 50th time that day I wondered what we were up to.

Suddenly a voice cut through to us. We looked up.

"HERE, NOW!" Quinn gave us a panicked look and turned, jogging towards our coach. I didn't want Brittany to see that, so I let my fingers ripple over her arm, letting my eyes go back to Brittany's blonde hair. She was still staring after Quinn with a worried and slightly angry look on her face.

"Britt..." she slowly turned her eyes towards me. "Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow to study Spanish? And talk boys?" Her frown turned into a smile that tickled my heartstrings.

"That sounds about as awesome as strawberry milkshake."

"I'm sure that could also be arranged." Brittany squealed, and my pretty uncommon smile stretched out on my lips before I could stop it. "Great. Something to look forward to."

* * *

I waited impatiently by the lockers for her to show up. We'd ended it quickly, because Coach had said she was gonna work with the talent – Mercedes. It annoyed the hell out of me. Not even in Coach Sylvester's Glee club could I be Aretha. It fucking sucked to be me sometimes.

I pushed those thoughts away, instead focusing on the fact that I would need to feed Brittany. We could probably stop by at Breadstix and take something with us.

I flipped my mobile open to look for any new messages and saw there was one from Matt. He was a nice guy who I actually kind of liked. He was funny, smart and he'd actually taken me to Breadstix for a date. Then of course we'd ended up in the back seat of his car like with so many others before him, but he'd been careful. I'm pretty sure he'd lost his V card with me. Thankfully he wasn't one of the guys who got obsessed with it, but he did enjoy my company every once in a while. It was nice that he understood what I wanted without questioning it. That made him and Puck two of a kind. Matt was sweet and Puck was good in bed. It was those two qualities that made me come back to them from time to time. Besides actually being a nice guy, Matt was great to talk to. He actually listened to me bitching about Quinn and he told me how the other guys looked at him and the other cheerleaders. Puck was less than that. He was hot and really knew how to satisfy me and then had the nerve not to cuddle afterwards. Just the way I liked it. I liked having him under my spell, but still not letting him think I was his. It was the other way around, really.

I looked up to see Brittany skip against me, her eyes deep as the sea and her hair flipping from side to side in the high ponytail.

A flash of the moment only two hours before made my body ache to hold her again. We'd been having fun with the rest of the glee club, singing and dancing and actually all just enjoying ourselves. And then when we were to leave, Brittany had opened her arms to me. I'd went right into her embrace, hugged her as tightly as I possibly could. My heart had been beating out of my chest.

"See you after practice," she whispered into my ear, as if our meeting had been a secret. I'd looked away when she let go of me, feeling myself blush which I never did. Her hands had fumbled across my arm to touch my hands, before releasing me. I'd felt light headed as I stumbled away.

And now all that dizziness returned to me as I used my arms to stand up straight from leaning against the lockers, smiling and greeting her with a hug, telling myself it didn't affect my body at all when in fact, holding her and feeling a few strands of blonde hair tickled my nose, made my arms lock so hard around her I had to force them off of her after five way too long seconds.

Brittany linked her pinky with mine in a way that would raise no questions, but made me want to tear off my arm in frustration and looked at me expectantly.

"I thought we'd get some food from Breadstix," I said, leading her out towards my car.

"I like that," she chirped. "Pasta ise really gudo." Her attempts to make words sound Spanish cracked me up, and I gave her an honest smile, showing my teeth.

"B, it's: "La pasta es muy buena"." She gave me a startled look.

"That sounded weird."

"Maybe we should make a habit of these lessons," I laughed, and she smiled at that.

* * *

I slurped up some more of the purple ice and let my teeth crunch on the cold sweetness that were McKinley High's slushy special. I knew how it felt to have one of these thrown in my face. In fact, it had been a coke, but I could imagine how it must feel like. Girls had never liked me much, I was never very popular with them. Mostly because I had that tanned skin, long black hair and could eat a mountain of garbage without my weight changing at all. It was one of the perks with being a naturally born cheerleader. But I hadn't been a naturally born bitch, unfortunately. Every time I'd tried to be nice to girls, they'd shown me the cold shoulder. Then, when I'd started hanging out with their boyfriends, they'd hated me even more. That one girl, Cicely Swan, had thrown her cold drink in my face at the school disco in second grade because the guy she'd been seen holding hands with had offered me a dance. She'd ruined my new purple dress. But I'd gotten her back. By becoming cheerleader I'd not only gotten the girls to fight for my attention, but I'd also made sure she'd been slushied no less than once a day for a month. She'd fled to an all girls private school. I'd proven that being liked by the boys wasn't bad at all.

Mr. Schue had gone to clean himself off, and all the other members had started to leave the room. I gave Matt a peck on the cheek, and Mike followed him after a hug from Brittany. As I saw Puck leave the room too, I caught a glimpse of him staring at Quinn, and that she met his eyes before he went in the opposite direction. I put my head on a tilt as I saw her stop Finn, giving him a kiss on the cheek before hurrying after him. It made me nervous, but I knew it was inevitable. The look in her eyes whenever she saw him with me or someone else was unmistakable. He was hers, no matter what everyone else thought. And obviously, without him even knowing it himself, really, it was obvious that he felt the same way.

"What are you thinking about?" I turned to the side, meeting Brittany's questioning eyes.

"Puck and Quinn," I said honestly.

"You think they're cheating on Finn?"

"Brittany, Puck isn't Finn's boyfriend, they're best friends. But yeah, in a way, they are both probably cheating on him. I don't have any proof, though."

"We should get proof, then." Her voice was surprisingly firm and I looked up from my slushy again. I didn't have an answer to that, so I just smiled and drank some more. "But I'm glad that all the guys are still apart of Glee club."

Without agreeing to, we sat down on two chairs and she let her long legs lay on the side, brushing against mine, probably on purpose. I saw something dance across her intense gaze before she looked away.

"I'm glad too. Mike seems to like you." She smiled at me and I felt a sting of something cold and slimy. Jealousy.

"He does. Matt seems to like you."

"Oh believe me, he does. He's great in be-... well, car." I laughed, and she joined me.

"I've only kissed Mike yet," she revealed to me. "I'm trying to kiss as many boys as I can. Perfect score." I felt sick. But I knew why she wanted to and I knew it was a good idea. Holding such a record at McKinley High would definatly stand for a lot. We went quiet, listening to the sounds of the school being emptied. It was weird, I usually didn't stay a second longer in this hell hole than I needed to. But ever since I started hanging out with Brittany and Glee club, I kept wanting to linger.

"You know, I've never actually heard you sing, Santana." Brittany broke the silence and finished her slushy with one last, loud slurping sound, putting it on the chair behind her. Then she moved her chair closer to mine, laying down and putting her head in my lap. I was surprised by the gesture, but I didn't mind at all. I felt my thighs hum excitedly, and felt my cheeks heat up.

"I'm an awesome singer. I'd make Sue cry if she heard me," I said, putting my drink away and let my fingers tangle in her hair.

"You keep saying that, but I've never heard you sing, San. What kind of songs do you like to sing?" I studied her hair between my fingers and half closed eyes, and sighed. Truth be told, I liked anything with a soul. It helped me to be the complete opposite in school. But I knew the obvious choices to name.

"I like songs by Amy Winehouse," I confessed. "And Kelly Clarkson, and Adele. You know, those kind of artists." She nodded in my lap, still looking through half closed eyes out into the empty choir room.

"Sing me something."

I swallowed, taking the obvious choice but regretting it once I started thinking of the notes in my head. But I shrugged it off. It was just a song that had left my lips very often lately. I took a shaky breath, and started singing to the piano across the room.

_You look at me,_  
_Like you always do._  
_You don't have a clue._  
_You smile at me,_  
_You hug me,_  
_But you don't know I want you._

I felt Brittany's breathes against my knees, and I smiled slightly. It wasn't like I was singing to anyone in particular, but this song was the last one I would've chosen to sing to anyone else except her. It just felt... right. Besides, not many people had heard it before. I liked to pretend it was mine.

_You play with me,_  
_You flirt with me,_  
_You tell me all your secrets._  
_I'm always the one you run to,_  
_but to you I'm just your friend._

My fingers travelled to her waist, trailing my nails across her uniform. She let her nails touch my bare leg and knee, making small circles across my skin, making my singing a little more breathy, making a few notes shaky. But I kept singing, because it kept me busy thinking of something else but those fingers. Anything else but that warmth in my lap. Anything but that uniform that kept crinkling under my fingers, teasing me. I'd lost my mind.

_Don't say I love you,_  
_Don't say you need me,_  
_Don't say I trust you,_  
_My heart cant take it._  
_Don't say you want me,_  
_Don't say you miss me,_  
_Don't hurt me._  
_Don't say you love me._

_Mmmm... no no no no._

Kelly sure knew how to touch you with her lyrics. I quieted down, swallowing the hurt in my throat, making my hand be still on her waist. She didn't stop the circling though, and I closed my eyes for a second, biting my tongue.  
"Don't stop," she begged me, turning over in my lap so that her face was directed directly at mine. I wasn't sure if she meant the touching or the singing.  
"Did you like it?" I ignored her.  
"You're better than all of them," she said, pure honesty laid out for me to see. My heart surged forward, and I knew that if I just leaned a little bit down, closer to her I could capture those lips with mine. I'd kept telling myself that it had all been the doing of those drugs, but the fact that I wanted – or rather needed – to kiss her now was so true and out there that I'm sure she saw it all over my face. To prove my point, her hand reached out to pat my cheek sweetly.

"You're so much more than people know," she mumbled, and I was shocked by that. She took a hold of my hand, letting her nails trail lazily across the back of it.  
"It's like you're full of secrets." Our fingers tangled and untangled, sending electric impulsive through me, making my heart break out of it's little box and going on a wild massacre through my body. "I love secrets." Her voice was so innocent and yet it had that low, mild vibe that told me she was implying something. Then she stared back at me, brought my hand to her lips and kissed it lightly.

"Hey ladies, what are you still doing here?" It was the janitor. He looked at us with a frown behind his big, grey eyebrows that made him look like some kind of mixed dog. Cheerleaders never stayed behind in school.

Brittany sat up with a surprised sound, and I took a hold of her hand again, pulling her up with me.  
"We were just leaving," I said, and passing by him I added. "And you've got some slushy to clean up in here." I added as mean as I could, letting go of B's hand and walking quickly towards the lockers.  
"I really need to get home," I mumbled.  
"But what about our study date?" Brittany questioned, sounding confused. I hated that confusion, all I wanted was to make things right for her as soon as she thought wrong, but right now I couldn't. I needed to get away, now. I had been thinking about kissing her. Kissing a girl, and not to impress the guys but for my own selfish heart. It was sick, it was insane, it was completely loco.  
"Soon, okay? I'm meeting Puck tonight." She smiled and nodded and started talking about her and Mike's date the night before, and I listened with half of my ear, telling myself that's who she should be kissing, while I texted Puck that it was an emergency and that I needed him under my skirt, stat. He answered immediately, and I could draw a breath of relief. I was sexually frustrated, that was all. And girls are hotter than guys, that's just the way things are. We were best friends. Nothing more than cheerleader besties. Just. Friends. _But_, I thought as I watched her readjust her skirt, pulling her bag out of the locker and still going on about how amazing the dancing Other Asian was, _friends with secrets, apparently._

* * *

**A/N: Please give me inspiration to keep writing by telling me what you think! **

**I'm always interested in suggestions and discussions so don't hesitate to tell me!**


	8. Wheels

**With you on my shoulder**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.

A/N: My... This is a super fluffy chapter. But Santana seemed mad at Brittany in this episode, or well, a little too bitchy. And I wanted more Quick into it. Mainly because I love them, but also because it must be affecting Santana a lot since she is sleeping with Puck.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Wheels**

**(Brittany)**

"See, when I was in Glee Club and we needed new silk cover buns for regionals, we held a bake sale." Mr Schuester looks like he's really serious about the idea, though I don't think it's the best. There are so many reasons why, starting with the very strong rule made by Coach Sylvester, stating that any cheerio eating something that has sugar in it, is used as trampoline for the whole team. Santana looks at me in disbelief, and we laugh together at the idea. But looking back at Mr. Schue, he's still very much serious.

"Wait, you're joking right? I mean bake sales are kind of Boogie." Santana's words of truth makes our teacher look at us in disbelief.

"So hip people stopped eating delicious, sugary treats?" I decided it was time to speak up. I didn't like it at all when people questioned Santana.

"It's not that. It's that most of us don't know how to bake. I find recipes confusing..." It's the truth. The home room teacher in school always tells me to follow the recipe, and my mom always tells me to read between the lines. When I ask the teacher about it, she always gets into a heated discussion, telling me there is no reading between the lines in making the perfect cake. I just don't know. I mean, I do think that marshmallow and peanut butter would go well with small cookies, make them more exciting, but the teacher, Miss Hagbert, always gets red in the face when I suggest new ingredients. It is VERY confusing.

I mean, I could always just ask my mom to bake some for me, but to be honest I'll probably forget it, and then I'll go around worrying about something that I can't remember what it is. And my dad always tells me you should never let someone else do your job. That's why I never let Santana do my homework for me, I write hers off with my own pencil on my own paper. It takes a longer time, but at least I am doing all the work myself.

.

* * *

.  
I was standing by the lockers when it happened.

I saw Quinn walk towards the home economics classroom with a shopping bag in her arms.

Then I saw Puck coming down the hall, rolling around sneakily like mittens always does when he's been up to something.  
Then Puck stayed outside the door to Home Ec., leaving the wheelchair there and going in after her. I felt my heart take a leap out of my chest, knowing this was our chance. I dropped my books in my own wheelchair, making a run for the toilets around the corner to get Santana out from there now. She'd been crying because she didn't want to be a cripple, and she'd told me to go get her books and she would meet me in class. But this was way more important than History!

I slammed the door open, breathing heavily as I saw Santana spin around to face me.

"It's Puck..." I took a deep breathe, "..and Quinn...! Baking!" Santana's eyes grew even wider in surprise, and I could barely see the red around them anymore.

"Let's get us some dirty proof, then." She spat, and grabbed my hand on the way out, letting me lead the way outside.

"They're in the Home Economics classroom," I told her, running outside, towards the window with red and white curtains. When I got to it, I put a finger to my lips, pointing. Santana went around me and pulled me down into a crouching position, making me giggle hysterically. She just raised an eyebrow, smiling a little before shushing me.

We crept closer, and peeked over the edge of the windowsill.

"Oh..." Santana mumbled. "They really are baking."

"Mhhm. Told you."

"Yeah, I just thought..." I looked at her, but she shook her head. "Never mind."

I turned my attention back to them, but wasn't sure what I was seeing. It was Quinn, pushing something into Puck's hand, looking away from him.

"What's that?" I whispered, probably a little too loud. I was still trying to learn the right voice for whispering.

"I can't see," Santana answered in a harsh whisper. "Condoms?" I giggled again.

We could only see their backs, but even though it looked like Quinn wanted Puck to leave, he didn't. Instead he put his hand on her shoulder, saying something that made Quinn smile and turn around. And I don't mean one of those superior smiles she used to smile, but it was one that made me smile too. I peeked at Santana, who looked like she was fighting one as well. Puck was shaking his head, and Quinn's face turned – not serious, but incredibly _sexy_. I had never been attracted to her before, but suddenly she looked so... cute. My little finger crept to Santana's without me thinking, and our pinkies linked. I could feel her uncomfortableness with the situation. Even I could see that something was going on, and I wasn't especially fast to notice.  
My mouth fell open though, as she suddenly cracked an egg on his head! But she was smiling like crazy, biting her lower lip, so I was guessing she wasn't mad at him.

"He really is such an egghead, that suits him..."Santana mumbled beside me, like she'd heard what they'd said through the glass even though I knew it was impossible. I laughed.

"Are they gonna...?" Santana nodded beside me.

"Uhu." Puck and Quinn started throwing flour and cocoa on each other, and I leaned into Santana, trying to see more.

"That looks like so much fun!" I said as Puck poured sugar all over Quinn's head, taking her in his arms. I'd never seen any of them so happy, like they were children. I really wanted to join them, but there was something stopping me from banging on the window besides Santana's pinky holding mine in a choke hold. They were... so close. A small sting in the centre of my chest told me this wasn't the first time, and something reminded me of the time two weeks ago in my room, after me and Santana had taken those vitamins. It was almost as if they were high on sunny pills and when Puck stood so close to her I could just barely see him touch her hair, I knew for sure they were gonna kiss. And that it wouldn't be their first time either.

"That stupid dog, I should get him a better leash, so that he doesn't run after every stray bitch in school!"  
I stood up, trying to pull Santana away from there. She didn't want to see one of her best friends taking her man (dog...?), but fortunately Finn entered the room. That gave me that last kick in the butt to pull Santana out of there. Santana was whispering in Spanish behind me. I turned around when we were just outside the doors, and looked at her. Her eyes looked darker than usual, like they were fighting some kind of battle.  
I didn't like that look. She was looking down at our entwined pinkies, and I pulled mine out, putting one hand on each side of her face.

"Santana, are you okay?" I leaned in really close, feeling the hummingbirds telling my lips to kiss it better, and I was about to listen to them, as her eyes locked on mine, and then suddenly, as fast as I'd seen her jump those ropes in practice this morning, she snapped back, almost shoving me away from her. I stumbled backwards, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Okay? That stuck up elephant lady is stealing my man!" She looked so mad, I got even more worried. "And I have to ride in that shitty wheelchair like I'm some wannabe cheerio cripple! My rep is being eaten alive by this sick geek club!" She spat the last words, and that hurt me.  
Then Becky came behind her, brows furrowed with worry.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, which turned Santana's anger towards her instead. Her words towards my friend hurt me more than anything she's ever said before... mostly because I knew they could have just as easily been directed at me.

"Stay away from me, retard!" Becky's freckled face turned red, and Santana stormed off without another look in my direction. I stepped closer, putting an arm around my much shorter friend's shoulders.

"Don't worry Becky," I said, comforting. "She's just mad at Quinn for baking with her man."  
.

* * *

.  
I had gone to look for Becky as soon as I'd made sure to dump my wheelchair outside the boys bathroom that morning. I knew no one would think it was mine then, since I wasn't a boy. Santana had made me so angry, and even though she'd been nice to me during Glee club by helping me with my arm, because I still couldn't understand the rules of holding up a hand, I was still mad at her. I needed to make myself and Becky feel better, so when I found her, I told her about my secret.

"Becky, did you know that we're having a bake sale? Hundreds of cakes!" Becky looked up at me through her thick glasses, smiling. I love her smiling.  
Becky is one of the few girls in school that I dare to talk to about how mean some cheerleaders could be. I love Santana, she is my... best friend, I hope, but sometimes she lets the way of cheerios take over her. And she could be, even though almost never to me, really mean!

"Really?" I nodded.

"Yes! And they look really good. And I think Santana would like to sell you one." Becky looked a little scared at that, but I just held out my arm to her, and she linked hers through mine.

"Don't worry, she's really nice."

"You keep telling me that, but she's always so mean to people," she reminded me, but with a smile. It almost never left her face, which made her an even better friend. Besides, Becky always let me cheat off of her papers in History, which I thought was hard. And Becky always got to look at my answers in maths class, because it was the only class I was really any good at. Puck was the only one I knew who shared history with me except for Becky, but he usually slept right through it, using his books as a pillow.

"There they are!" I said, as we entered the cafeteria. "We baked them for the school? A cookie or a cupcake?"

"For me? Really?" She said, looking at me with her smile growing even bigger. I smiled too, looking up at Puck, Quinn, Finn and Santana. Santana and Quinn looked at me really angrily. I think Santana hardly even knew me and Becky were friends. She looked kind of... jealous.

"See, so many! And look how pretty they are, Becky!" I stared at the cupcakes, ignoring Santana's stare and Becky leaned closer to me as I put my arm around her, and she went:

"Wow," a little shyly.

"Brittany, you're supposed to be in your wheelchair." Santana told me with a snap of her head. I looked at her, trying to hide my little smile at her tone of voice.

"I lost it," I said seriously, knowing they would believe me if they found it.

"Are you a cheerleader?" Becky said to Santana, trying in her own way to break the ice. I knew Santana recognized Becky, and I hoped she felt bad now.  
"That's so cool!"

"So is buying a cupcake, that's really cool." I said, showing the others I was getting us costumers on my reputation. Becky looked up at me, a little sad.

"But I don't have any money!" I shrugged my shoulders.

"That's okay, have some!" I took my wallet out from the side pocket of my bag, giving her a dollar that she stretched out to Santana, who looked like I was being a bitch to her. I just smiled knowingly. She took the money with a quiet:

"Thank you," looking away and putting a hand to her ponytail, like she does when she's bothered by something. Like when I ask her strange questions. Santana picked up a napkin and a cupcake, giving it to Becky who smiled.

"Thanks!" I waved and then turned half towards Santana, smiling to myself, letting my fingers touch the side of the table.

"Soo, how much do we have now?" I dared a quick glance at Puck and Quinn sitting beside each other, before looking down again.

"Well, with this one dollar we have... one dollar." Finn replied, and my face fell a little. As Quinn hissed at Finn's ideas, I noticed Santana's eyes on me. I picked a chair from one of the nearby tables, sitting down beside her, reaching a hand out, touching hers. She looked up at me, and somehow I knew she was sorry. I don't know how or why, but I knew that she was.

"I'm trying!" Finn stood up, kicking his wheelchair and leaving the cafeteria. Santana pulled up her hands to pick some crumbs from under her nails, trying to ignore Quinn as she struggled to roll after him. I could see Puck smiling.

"Well, ladies, it's time for the Puckasaurus to take a walk." He patted his crotch, rolled away, and even though we were alone at the table, she looked at the cupcakes as she spoke.

"I was worried about my rep." I looked at her, then took a cupcake.

"I know. And you like Puck." She looked at me, and I took a lick from the treat, and didn't like the taste so I put it back on the plate. "I know you do. I'd be mad too." I met her eyes, and she looked at me without saying anything, before nodding. The guy with red, curly hair who always followed Rachel reached out a dollar with shaky hands.

"Oh, here you go!" I smiled my brightest smile, picking up a cupcake.

"No, I'd like that one." He said in a shaky voice, pointing in the direction of the one I'd just licked. I picked it up as Santana hand shot out to stop me and she stood up, leaning towards him.

"Get out of here before I go all Lima Heights on your ass, you perv." She shot at him, and I leaned back in the chair, smiling and watching Santana put the dollar in the cash register as she kept glaring after the nervous guy. Santana was... safe.  
.

* * *

.  
"Mittens hasn't been home all day, honey." The words still echo in my head, and I put a hand to my wrist where my friendship bracelet hangs. I'm sitting in the stairs, leaning against the railing. I know almost everything about cats. I have 14 books about them, and I've read them all at least two times. So I know that cats can be gone almost a week before coming back home again. But it's so unlike Mittens to be gone. He's almost never out, and when he is he doesn't go far. He's pretty fat and pretty lazy, he's always been, ever since he was a kitten. That's why I named him Mittens the Mighty, like the fat king. I'm not sure what king, but one of them.

Bailey raises her head, and I do the same, waiting for the bark of recognition. The doorbell rings, Bailey barks and I jump down the stairs, flinging the door open in desperation, a small part of me hoping Mittens has learned to ring the doorbell. Santana's eyes look almost black with worry.

"Britt...?" I throw my arms around her, push my nose into her neck and stay quiet.  
San's arm curl around my back, while she steps inside with me clinging to her, closing the door.

"Do you want to go out looking again?" I nod into her, but mom's voice interrupts us.

"I think it's best if you go to bed, sweethearts." My mom has already decided, and I know it's useless to try to make her change her mind. "You have school tomorrow. And who knows, maybe Mittens will be back afterwards." I can feel her hands on the top of my head, and then I think she must me patting Santana's arms, sighing.

"Thank you for coming, Santana dear. I know it's late..."

"It's fine. It's gonna be fine."

"You can't know that," I whisper into her hair.

"Yes, I can." She sounds so sure of herself, that I have to believe her.

"I'll bring you some banana bread before you go to sleep. You can have it in bed," Mommy says, before going into the kitchen. I know that she's almost as sad as I am, but I can't think about that. I can only think of Mittens. Maybe he ate a really big fish and now he's too full to walk home? Or maybe some scary big swan bit his ear, and now he's too scared to go home?  
It was all I could think when Santana made me let go of her and led me up the stairs, making me change into my pyjamas. I stared at her while she pulled hers on, with her eyes on me all the time, like she was worried I would disappear too. Then, at one point, right before she was pulling her brah out, her eyes hardened and it was as if she was challenging me. I don't know why, but it was how it felt. Then they softened again, and she came to sit beside me on the bed.

"I haven't slept here for so long," she tells me, taking a piece of bread and bites into it, looking around the room. I watch her eat, reaching out to brush a few crumbles from her tank top.

"Last time we played with Barbie and Ken, remember? " Santana looked over at the doll house I still had in my room.

"Yeah, I remember." I always loved it when she took her own Barbie with her, the Spannish Princess Barbie. We always played that Ken wanted to be together with Spannish Barbie, even though he was married to my Barbie. And since Spannish Barbie and my Barbie were best friends, they threw Ken out of the house and married each other. It was my favourite game to play with Santana. She always wanted to kick Ken between his legs, and then my Barbie would ask Spannish Barbie to marry her. It was my favourite part, and Santana always refused to go home before we had gotten them married. I kind of wanted to play it now, but I knew that I needed to sleep, and that really, we were a little too old for Barbies.

"Do you still have Spannish Barbie?"`I asked.

"Of course I do." she smiled at me and winked, and I actually smiled back. It was strange, because a moment ago it had felt like I would never smile again because a big black thing inside me were sitting on my heart. It was as if Santana had showed it off. "I'll take her with next time and we can play, okay?" My smile grew even bigger.

"Oh, yes, yes please!" Santana laughed quietly at me, and our eyes locked, and the hummingbirds woke up again, fighting the black thing inside of me. Her face got a little red, and her voice was shaking when she said:

"We should go to bed. I'm not gonna be able to open my eyes tomorrow if I don't get at least 5 hours of sleep." I nodded, went up to switch off the light, before crawling into bed beside her. The warmth of her body beside me made it hard to stay still, and I felt lonely again. Mittens always slept with his paws on my face, his breathing making me fall asleep. I turned my head towards Santana who was laying on her back, looking at the ceiling where I had put stars that glows in the dark. They reflected in her dark eyes, making it look like she had the night sky inside of her.

It was as if all else disappeared from inside of me, and all I knew was this. Santana was beautiful. It wasn't like I hadn't thought of it before, I knew that she was good looking. Obviously, she was. I'd always been proud of being friends with someone so hot, someone all the girls were jealous of and the boys wanted. She made my heart race, looking at her a lot of the time. But it was as if I was really seeing her, even though she was obviously not in my room with me. She was somewhere else, I could tell. I felt so damn lonely on the outside and at the same time, so lucky to be there with her.

"My mom never came back. I told you about it, how she left me and dad to go work as a doctor in Spain..." I nodded quietly. She had told me that, in the last letter she ever sent me. I had sent a few after that, but after a while I'd gotten busy with dancing and doing the work at home. Mom had begun teaching me at home, since the teasing had become pretty hard when Santana wasn't protecting me anymore. Mom knew a lot about Maths, but not a lot much else, so even though we'd had books she hadn't been able to teach me all that much. Besides, I thought it was hard enough with school as it was. I had taken tons of dancing lessons instead, been in a few contests but never really gotten into something big. And then we moved here.

"Well, I never told you that she went with a guy named Mica." I gasped before I was able to stop myself, and she closed her eyes. "Dad never told me anything, he just said mom had to work somewhere else for a while. The only reason I knew about Mica was because she sent me a postcard on my birthday. On it was a puppy sleeping in a bathing ring with red text saying "Sunny greetings from Barbados". Like some puppy would make up for abandoning me." I didn't want to interrupt her story, so I just kept quiet, knowing there was more. I was still confused about her letting me in like this. I wondered if anybody else knew, maybe Quinn... but I wasn't sure. Maybe Quinn knew, and that was the reason Santana was so mad at her.

"I thought she was gonna come back, you know." Her mouth closed tightly, like she was biting a lemon. "After a year, I was still hoping. But I knew it was hopeless to believe. And now dad's got Cruella. Guess he would've dumped mom for the newer model sooner or later, she just beat him to it." Mittens meant the world to me, but I couldn't even begin to imagine how I would feel if my mom got lost. It made me feel incredibly sick and tears stung in my eyes again.

"I would never leave you," I whisper, almost so quietly only I can hear it. She left me, but she was forced away by her parents jobs. Back then we were only nine and we couldn't do much about it. It had seemed like the end of the world, and I knew that if it would happen again, it would be. When I imagined my future, the time after High School Santana was there beside me. It didn't matter if I was dreaming about looking for lost cats as a fireman, or eating pancakes for breakfast somewhere in New York, like the ladies in sex and the city. She was there.  
Santana looked sideways at me, noticing that I was crying. She laid on the side, pushing the bangs out of my eyes before pulling her hand away as if I'd burned her.

"Thanks, BrittBritt. Don't worry, it's gonna be okay."

I felt the pain in my stomach, and the heavy feeling in my chest before turning on the other side, snuggling my back into her front. She breathed in deeply, and I could feel her body shiver, making goosebumps appear on my arms. I wondered for a second if she was sick, shivering like that, but realized she must just be cold, and took a hold of her hand from behind me, pulling it around my waist and kissing it before holding it between my own hands. It was sweaty, but cold. She was still trembling.

"Goodnight, Santana," I mumbled, yawning and listened to her breathing growing slower and deeper, feeling completely safe in her arms. I'd missed having her here.

"Goodnight, Brittany."

.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews are very much welcome. I really want to hear what you think – it makes me write faster! And ideas are appreciated too! Thank you all for reading this, it means the world to me!  
Naya and HeMo hugs for you all! XD**


	9. Ballad

******With you on my shoulder****  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.**

A/N: It's time... and I went all out. OMG.  
Sorry about the long wait. Just read. I really hope it was worth it, because I needed this to be... perfect.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Ballad**

**_(Santana)_**

It was the foot in my shin that woke me up.  
The pain wasn't much, but it made me open my eyes only to flinch and close them again at the sunlight shining in through the window. It took me a few seconds to remember where I was and why I felt something on top of me that usually wasn't supposed to be there. I caught the smell of Brittany's hair in the morning breeze drifting in through the open window. It tickled my nose and the scent of her skin, lotus flowers, made me slowly reopen my eyes.

She was sleeping half on top of me, one of her legs draped across mine, arms around my middle. I flushed as I realized I had one kind of around her too, and the hand on my other arm on top of her hand on my right breast. My nipples started to hardened to make things worse, and the urge to get out of this awkward situation became more and more pressing. But I managed to calm myself down by swearing loudly in Spanish in my head, taking small breaths not to take in too much of her. It was seriously driving me crazy. I felt her warmth and scent in a whole other way now. The other mornings it had been different, though not less awkward on my part. Turns out Brittany needs a train to crash through her room for her to wake up. At least when she's sleeping with me in her bed.

When we'd been small she would always awake by herself when she was ready, which used to be about half past six. She used to wake me up by jumping on her side of the bed, and when I told her to go watch TV and let me sleep, she would throw herself on top of me, shouting that it was my favourite programme and that I wouldn't want to miss it. And every single time I got out of bed.

I knew it wasn't my favourite show on, it was hers, but I loved the look of pure glee on her face when she watched it, laughing at the colourful figures, going on and on about what weird planet would leave their babies all alone in a house with a couple of bunnies and some strange vacuum cleaner. She expected me to have the answers. So I always made up some strange reason why the parents needed to go shopping, or work, or was on a trip to the Pancake Planet to buy stuff for their children.

I could only see the top of her blonde head from where she was laying on top on me, but it made me smile. Our breathing was in synch, and I moved my hand to run my fingers lightly through a few strands of her hair. Then the door opened and I closed my eyes, trying to look like I was sleeping.

"Go wake the ladies up, will you?" I heard Brittany's dad say with his deep voice, as filled with humour as ever. I heard the scratching against the floorboards and tensed when I realised a second too late just what kind of thing was heading towards us. Bailey landed on top of my legs, stumbling and grumbling awkwardly. I opened my eyes and stared the thing down, daring it to come closer.

Bailey just put her head to the side, showing off her teeth like she was daring me right back, but with a goofy grin.  
Then she pawed closer, leaning in to lick Brittany in the face. I shivered, inching away as the thing turned it's smelling, huge mouth towards me.  
"Yuck! Get out of this bed or I swear I will cut you!" Bailey just wagged her tail and went back to licking Brittany who giggled, pushing one of her hands onto the dog's face, saying:  
"Down girl, down." Bailey did as she said, but as soon as she left Brittany realized how she had been sleeping, sitting up, one leg pressing in between my thighs. She smiled a little guiltily at me, and I suddenly wished Bailey had stayed, making this thing far less embarrassing.

"Sorry, San. I hope it didn't get too hot with me clinging to you." She said it so easily I felt a sting in my chest, thinking she must not be as nervous about our closeness as I was.  
"It's fine, Britt. I've always known you were a hugger." She smiled, straddling me like she always used to when we were little, giving me those same hummingbirds too. Well, back then they'd been butterflies. Now they had definatly stepped up in size.

Then she put one hand on either side of my head, and I think I spaced out. I wasn't myself. It was early morning, I was turned on by my best friend (and it wasn't just morning wetness, so to speak, this was fully fledged, wanting-to-wrap-my-legs-around-her-waist kind if turned on), her parents were in the house, she was my best friend, the frigging dog was watching, we had cheerleading practice, and oh, did I mention, it was my best friend Brittany that was straddling me?

"You are so cosy to sleep next to." Then she laughed, hopping off the bed and left the room. I stayed on the mattress, feeling as if an elephant had made a point of using my chest as a nice resting spot. Thousands of thoughts should have been running through my head, but really, the only one that did was a quickly put together day dream about Brittany spreading my legs and... Bailey jumped up into the bed again, sitting down and watched me with her tongue hanging on the side.  
"What are you staring at?" I barked at her, getting up and away from the monster, hurrying up to get my things so that I could make myself decent enough for school. It felt like an impossible task, but I was from Lima Heights, I was used to living on the edge.  
Casting one last, warning look to the dog still on the bed, I went towards the bathroom where I heard water flowing. I could hear voices down the hall, Bailey following me and the smell of pancakes filled the air. Apart from the heart attack, this wasn't a bad way to start a day.  
.

* * *

.  
"Ballad..." The word immediately gets my attention away from discussing Rachel's clothes with Brittany. Mr. Schuester writes it on the board, walking over to us across the room. "From Middle English 'Balade'. Who knows what this word means?" Rachel's hand immediately shoots up, and I flinch in my seat.

"It's a male duck." Brittany states before Mr. Schue gives anyone else a chance. My head snaps in her direction, feeling the smile creep onto my lips. All the other members have learned to ignore Brittany's sudden outburst of wisdom. I shake my head at her, and she looks at me, nodding in that cute way that she always does when she's sure about something.  
Kurt, with the help of Mr. Schue continues in explaining what at ballad is and I take a look in Quinn's direction, humoring myself with what ballad they would potentially sing. I catch a glimpse of Quinn staring over at Puck – or Rachel, but I doubt she has the same problems as I do with girls - from where she's got her head leaning on her boyfriend's shoulder. Finn looks like he's trying really hard to understand the idea of a ballad, and it looks like it's hurting his head.

"Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way!" I pretend to not be listening that closely, when in fact my heart is racing in my chest, and I sneak a peek in Brittany's direction. I wondered what I would have sung to her. About our friendship, about how confusing everything's been lately but that in the end, she's somehow... the feeling that makes me feel at home.  
I tune back in at Rachel's annoying voice, trying not to laugh at the face Puck is doing when he pretends to care about Rachel's thoughts... wait, maybe he does care? She is Jewish after all, and he's got this scary passion for other Jews. Like their all sacred or something.

"So here's our assignment for the week. I'm going to pair you off, and I want you to pick a ballad to sing to your partner." Mr. Schuester tells us and I search the room wondering who I should demand to be with. I know Brittany will want to sing with Mike, so I should pick someone else... I should pick Puck, because he's my man and all, but... God, the only one I could picture singing a ballad to is Brittany. Mainly because she wouldn't laugh her way through it. Well, as long as it wasn't Preggo or Rachel I would be good.  
"I pick Quinn." Finn's words sets our choir leader off somehow.  
"Ah, no, no, no, no! Too easy," he scolds. Brittany looks at me, raising her eyebrows and I try not to burst out laughing at his gestures. "You're partners will be chosen by fate!" Everybody ooh's and when Brittany looks down into her lap, biting her lip, I cross my arms over my chest, smiling.  
"I put your names in this hat. Whomever you choose is your partner!"

"I bet the ducks in the hat." Brittany whispers to me, but I only half listen, eyes on that hat. It could bring me a week of fortune, or a week of hell. I hated teachers who wanted to be fair. It sucked being paired up with some Lima Loser who only checked out your jugs when you tried to get a good grade out of the really boring assignment. I should pick... oh, right.

"But Matt's out sick today. He had to go to the hospital 'cuss they found a spider in his ear." I announce this, trying not to laugh. Matt had an irrational fear of spiders and I loved teasing him about it. I guess it was with spiders like with all other animals. They could sense if you didn't like them, and that attracted them to you. It was like me and all the geeks in the school that feared me. It just made me pick on them all the more.  
Everyone looks disgusted, and Mr. Schuester just simply puts his name in the hat instead. God, I hope I didn't have to do it with him. That'd be honestly weird, even if he was kind of good looking.  
"Who's up first?"  
I do the drum roll together with everyone in the club, feeling kind of good about it anyway. Fate should help me out, and Puck was the first one to pick. I kind of hoped he would get to sing with Mr. Schuester. That would have totally cracked me up.  
"Mercedes." That would be interesting. Next up is...  
"Quinn!" Artie sound like he's just fell out of his wheelchair and landed face down in-between her boobs. I laugh at that, he sounds so hopeful. I'll love to hear their song.

Finn looks like he's gonna cry when he reads the name.  
"Kurt." I laugh out loud, not being able to keep it in. That is priceless! I meet Quinn's gaze and she's laughing too, along with everyone else. Brittany leans into me, whispering:  
"They're gonna be so cute!" I put my hand over my mouth, laughing, and it only grows harder to stop when Tina reads her note saying:  
"Other Asian." Good, then Brittany won't be with Mike and I won't have to fight the strange feeling of jealousy that flares up as soon as I see them together. I jump up to go after Tina, still giddy about it all, grateful that neither Preggo, cripples or Puck was left. Hopefully I wouldn't be paired off with miss Man Hands. I'm wearing my bracelet today, to make her feel happy since poor Mittens is still missing. It's been a week, and I know that he won't be back. He probably got a heart attack from all the cupcakes Brittany fed him. Poor thing, I kind of liked him.  
I open my note, making a sound between a laugh and a hmm, looking at my best friend.

"Brittany!" She gasps in joy, jumps up and claps her hands as the others laugh at our fortune. This really was fate. I smile at Mr Schue knowingly, before walking back to my seat, getting a high five from Brittany. She crosses her leg, letting me get by and I move my chair closer to hers before sitting down next to her, enjoying the super awkward moment when Mr. Schue realizes he has been paired up with Rachel.  
I actually like this song, I realize as they sing it. It's a beautiful duet – a little too cheesy for my taste – but I wouldn't mind having it on my ipod. I smile as I see Mr. Schue trying to escape from Scary Berry, who looks like she's just gotten a major Hot for Teacher's problem. I look over at Brittany, trying not to laugh, and she has put her head sideways, just looking at them with a smile on her lips. I wonder what she's thinking. I lean back, feeling the giggles rock through my body as he absent-mindedly grabs a chair, building some kind of protective shield before him. Brittany starts laughing too, beside me, and Tina, Artie, Britt and Mercedes, smart as they are, bring out their cellphones, holding them up like lighters to set the mood. I can't hold it anymore, laughing out loud and grabbing the side of the chair not to fall off.

"'_cuss no one can deny  
this love I have inside  
I'll give it all to you  
my love, my love, my love..._"

Okay, Mr. Schuester's faces is priceless... and as the music tunes out, Brittany can hardly hold her laughter, ready to clap, and I join in.  
"Okay, something like that." He practically makes a run for it, and I laugh, leaning into Brittany.  
"Wow."  
"I wish I had this on my ipod." she whispers, giggling.  
"Are you kidding me, I wish I'd filmed it!"  
.

* * *

.  
I'm sending my fifth message to Quinn, rolling my eyes at my attempts to sound worried.  
Well, I am kind of worried. Fine if Quinn and I are not as close as we once were, sharing candies and boys and homework and all that jazz, but she's still my friend, or at least frenemy.  
I get to be the ruling bitch when she's away, but I still worry. She is preggo and all, so if she got hurt so would the innocent little thing in her tummy be, and that worried me even though it was probably still the size of a blueberry or something. When I'd told Brittany that she'd started referring to the stomach as "Blueberry", which made Quinn annoyed and confused, and made me laugh out loud.  
Finn told everyone she was home sick, but what kind of sick he didn't say. Besides it was good to worry about something but how close Brittany was sitting, or how every time I took her pinky in mine she would give me a look that reminded me of Bailey. Or what song I was gonna sing to her.  
I threw my phone in front of me on the bed, opening up google on my laptop.  
I did listen to a few ballads, but I needed to do some more research before I could find one that fit Brittany. I could probably just sing her one, not needing it to have some special meaning, but I really wanted her to understand that love was something different than what we were doing with the boys in school. And the only way to tell her was through a song, a ballad about the feelings of true love.  
"Good Love Ballads" I wrote, pressing enter. As I looked through forums and lists I opened a new window on youtube, checking out the ones I hadn't heard. After half an hour I had a list of the ones I could do. Some were a little cheesy, but proved my point pretty damn well.

- "More than words" by Extreme  
- "To be with you" Mr. Big  
- "Soulmate" Natasha Bedingfield  
- "Finally" Fergie  
- "To make you feel my love" by Adele  
- "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson

I'd pretty much decided on "Soulmate" when I copied another song, one by Anastacia, that I finally felt like I'd found the one. The music started sipping out, reminding me of how much I'd used to like her. I needed to get me some more of her on my ipod, I decided, when the words came and I got truly hooked.

_Tripped along many stones  
Enough to say  
I found my own way  
I don't know, where to go  
Couldn't see, where it leads  
__  
Making castles in the sand  
Afraid no one else would hold my hand  
I'm stained from the world  
Sad, sad, sad little girl_

I wondered a little bit about the lyrics. It reminded me of Brittany enough to speak to her, but to be honest I felt like I was the one that could relate to it.

_But I see in your eyes  
You wear no disguise  
Help me find my way  
I'm like a bird in the sky  
You helped me to fly  
Fly away  
Fly away  
Back home... back home_

I smiled to myself, knowing it sounded a little cheesy, but with that voice she could pull it off. I knew I could pull that off. It was time someone out shined Rachel – Manhands wouldn't know what hit her.  
I realized I was crying, and immediately shut the computer screen down, furious with myself. But that song, I'd already decided. I was going to sing it. To Brittany.  
.

* * *

.  
"That's really pretty San!"  
It had been weeks since that awkward, kind of hot kiss in Brittany's room but obviously, when she said that to me my heart flipped over like a pancake in my chest and a few lines of the ballad I was supposed to have sung to her slipped into my head. I tried to blink it away, feeling both annoyed and grateful at the fact that we all decided to sing one for Finn and Quinn. That was yet another reason to loath them as a couple – their names made them sound like twins or something.

And speaking of twins, mine were really liking the new bra. Truth be told I'd put it on, heck even bought it, hoping she would comment on it.  
I was horny, which wasn't unusual for me, but since me and Puck had been at it like rabid rabbits three times last night it was a little strange. If I hadn't known better, I would've claimed I was sexually frustrated.  
Maybe I was going a little loco, but ever since I'd kissed Britt I'd started noticing all kinds of things I'd been ignoring up until now. Like how hot cheerleaders were. And I'd been starting to seriously think about experimenting without a crowd.  
It was only for research, of course. I wasn't into to girls like that... I'm sure.  
I smiled my shy smile, the one I seemed to save up and use only for her.

"Thanks Brittany."  
"I really like the colour, it suits your skin..." She kept on going. I felt myself grow conscious of my body and my room started to feel clammy.  
A wave of emotions told me to push her down on the bed this instant but I took a deep, terrified breath and demanded the thought to leave my head. Though, judging from Brittany's coy smile she'd guessed that I was thinking something along those lines.  
This was one of those things about Brittany that drove me over the edge. She could be all sweet and cosy and innocent only to turn on her sassyness and flirting the next.  
The worst part about that was that I knew I'd been the one who taught and encouraged her to use that.  
"Anyway... I'm glad we decided to do a real sleepover here instead of a party", she said, fiddling with the clothes laying on my bed. "We'd only been forced to kiss again."

My eyes snapped back up to hers which were studying me, searching for a reaction with an amused expression. I didn't know how it was even possible, but I felt like I was her lab rat and she was a scientist who was curiously wondering about how my mind and body worked and responded to her tone of voice and what she said.  
It was a tough one really, because what she said indicated that she was relieved that we weren't forced to kiss, but her voice – low, sweet and slightly teasing – indicated that she was happy we weren't forced to make out in front of a bunch of horny football players and stuck-up cheerleaders.

"Yeah," was my breathy response, looking away from her, trying to remind myself of some shirt to look for in my wardrobe.  
"Now we can do whatever we want", Brittany chirped and I froze, looking over my shoulder suspiciously.  
She stood up, winking at me and threw her shirt over her head, revealing a lavender blue bra and for once, matching panties. Her smile was so innocent I wanted to pry it off of her lips.

"Let's run through the sprinklers!" She giggled, waiting expectantly for my response.  
"Wha-" I was still in schock, very unlike me.  
"Oh please, please, please San!" She begged me, stepping closer, jumping up and down with hands pressed together and a pleading look in her eyes. "Pleeeaaaassseeeee!"  
"Uhm, sure Britt. Let's get our sprinklers on."

She gave up a high pitched "YEII!", clapped her hands together and ran out of the door.  
"Whoa- wait up!" I hurried after her, and when I got to the living room I stopped, catching my breath – not because I got tired, but because of what I saw when I looked through the glass walls.  
She was barefoot and half naked on the lawn, running around and making handstands through the water. It was like being trapped in a bad romantic comedy or a cheesy scary movie. I wasn't sure what would happen next. Either I would go out to do her on the lawn or I would cut out her fake boob with a knife. Since I'm not a dude and Brittany doesn't have fake boobs I just stepped out of my clothes slowly, trying to figure out what a friend would do. Probably run through the sprinklers with her. I calmed myself down and leaned my forehead against the glass, just watching. She was soaking wet already, screaming delightedly like a small child in the lamps that lit up the drops from the sprinklers. Ugh, I'd turned into the dude from that romantic comedy.  
Thank god it was still warm outside. She spun around toward me, her hair having come undone, waving at me to come out and join her already.  
So I did.  
.

* * *

.  
A half an hour (or so) later we went back inside, laughing together at each others appearances. Our hairs all tousled, mascara running and our bodies and underwear slick with water.  
Leaving wet footsteps on the floors I picked a few towels out of the linen closet and went to my room to dry Brittany and myself off. She was holding her arms tightly across her chest, shivering.  
I smiled secretly, let the towels fall to the floor, all but one – that I draped around Britt's shoulders.

"We're both gonna get so sick for this," I teased in a pretend tired voice. Brittany didn't answer me, which was a little odd, and then suddenly she snaked her arms around me, squeezing. I didn't say anything, I think she must have been hugging me too tightly, but after a few seconds of doubt I hugged her back and sighed into her neck as she leaned her head slightly on the top of mine.  
I could feel her chest heaving against me, making shivers that had nothing to do with the cold water to go down my spine.  
It was the feeling of a tightly pulled rubber band in my chest – something was going to happen.

"We're best friends, right Santana?" I felt my heart swell at that and bit back the grin that wanted to storm across my face. Gently leaning back and taking in a shaky breath, I said:

"Sure, Brit." Then I saw her eyes bore into mine, framed by darkened patched of mascara and forgot to think and just leaned into smell and taste her.  
I realized my mistake about two inches from her lips, staring at them like I didn't know what to do. Then she leaned in the last bit, kissing me and giving up a satisfied "hummm". Her hands cradled my neck, and I opened my mouth more quickly than I thought was possible, and she answered immediately. I felt my heart running out of the room, along with my consciousness and her trembling fingers left traces of her warmth on my arms.  
It was like neither of us were sure of how much we should explore the other, like we were both waiting for something to interrupt us and stop us from crossing that line of friends practising to friends... well, crossing the line. But we were alone in the house. I didn't have any pets. The TV was switched off. The only thing that could have possibly happened was if one of our phones rang, or maybe the fire alarm went off – which in that moment wouldn't have surprised me at all.

But soon our slow touching turned needy, a needy and raging embrace, like we were trying to do as much as possible before something did interrupt us. Her warmth took over, I almost tore off the towel from her shoulders and folded my arms around her waist as she giggled into me before it turned into a moan.

Exploring her mouth suddenly wasn't enough, and I left it, leaving kisses down her cheekbone and then started to work on her neck. Brittany's nails bore into my bare back as I did.  
It was all about getting to know her. I bit slightly, and she almost whimpered. Oh, she liked biting.  
I kissed the place behind her ear, licked my way up and down her collarbone, and before we knew it we were lying in a bundle of sheets, me straddling her.

The kissing turned warm and lazy, my hands fumbled to her chest as I rubbed against her hesitantly. Brittany opened her eyes slightly as I left her mouth, letting my hands caress her left breast, letting my thumb leap over it slowly a few times. Her bra was thick but her nipples must have been very hard because she closed her eyes, her back arching a little as I did. She smiled towards me, and sat up, reaching back to unclasp my bra. I felt my already hot cheeks tingle excitedly, and the pain in the bottom of my stomach became more unbearable.

Then she kissed them and I closed my eyes, partly falling, partly being pushed against the end of my bed, Brittany licking her way up to my lips before kissing my ribs and stomach. Her nails travelled down my thighs, and one of my hands gripped her hair while another one gripped the sheets. She kissed me right above my panties, then on the inside of my thighs. I didn't know where to go, it was all too much to fit inside my body, my room, my house. It was too fucking big of a feeling to fit in Lima Heights.

My toes wanted to curl into themselves as she leaned over me, I grabbed her neck with one hand, and shoved my thigh in-between her legs. Her knee pressed against me, and I giggled awkwardly, before moaning as she rocked against me, kissing me beside my mouth. She seemed to hang on to my ribs, and I had my hand at the small of her back, moving with her too.

We weren't even inside of one another, but just the feel of her warmth rubbing against me was enough to make me grind harder and faster and in one last motion she collapsed in a heap of moans on top of me, shivering.

I felt like crying as I breathed in deeply, my muscles trembling. Never before had I felt the climax hit me so hard. I mean, I was great at sex. I did get orgasms most of the time, but this was different. It had been like just her touching me could make me reach the point of no return.

Brittany gave me a small kiss on the lips, before moving off of me to lay down on the side. It felt lonely and wrong in between my legs. I just rolled after her, letting a hand come to her hip, pulling her closer and looking at her. She smiled as I met her eyes before closing them again and seeming to drift away. I kept staring at her, wanting to reach out and touch her face and beg her to do this to me again, but I refused myself. A new feeling was starting inside of me. I felt vulnerable and it was revolting.

A little annoyed and on wobbly legs I went up to put another duvet over her, before putting my head on the pillow on the right side of the bed, still watching her side move up and down, her stomach in and out, imagining her breath tickling my toes underneath the covers.

.

* * *

**A/N: Hot enough for you?  
****Oh, and one more thing. What now? I love suggestions.**


	10. Hairography

**With you on my shoulder  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: I wish I owned them. Then they'd be a swedish thing and I wouldn't have to be sitting here, crying my eyes out at not being able to go to the concert or seeing the 3D movie...**

A/N: I'm soooooo sorry about being slow on the updates. This is hard work! I hope you won't be dissapointed.  
Some re-thinking on Brittany's part, thinking about first meetings and such. And cue our favourite, chain smoking fatty.  
Here's a new Glee video I made (add youtube before you paste the link... dunno what happened)

/watch?v=LBYYm5Dn608

And of course, here's a link to the song I used. If you'd like to hear what Britt is singing to Santana! Clearly not a ballad, but it's Britt ^^ I changed the lyrics a tiny bit, hee hee. But it's only natural for Britt so sing slightly wrong, because it's only natural to get them wrong some times.

/watch?v=2Eiztcld-AU

.

* * *

**.**

**Chapter 10: Hairography**

_**(Brittany)**_

"I don't like lying to Mr. Schuester..." I confess to Santana as we're walking into the auditorium, her pinky wrapped around mine, which makes me a little out of breath. "But coach said it was a super secret special cheermission... and that telling Mr. Schue would make him so nervous that poodle made wig he wears as hair... _would fall off!_" I whispered that last part and Tina and Artie stared at us over their shoulders.

"Still too loud?" I asked Santana in a normal tone, while she rolled her eyes at the two in front of us, before nodding. We go in after Puck and Mike on a row of seats and sit down.

"You should have told me." Santana sounds tired and the anger that's always in her voice seems a little bigger. "I could've done it. Or at least helped you to tape up some camera or something." I pout a little.

"People don't usually notice and care when I do stupid things, coach said. So I was the perfect agent to get away with it even if I got caught... Besides, coach said not to tell you, since you are busy running the school."

"That's not...! But-" Santana tries to say something and ends up doing it in Spanish, and she does it louder than my whispers. I blink, shocked by her harsh, exotic sounding voice.

"Anyway," she mutters, ignoring Matt who's turned around to stare at us with half a smile. "Next time tell me. And you probably shouldn't have mentioned coach's name. That's kind of a dead give away." I stare at her, wondering if I missed something.

"What's dead?"

"Never mind," she mumbles, sighing and looking away from me. I don't want to let it go though.

"Well, I knew he was assuming it was her, so if I told him it wasn't I hoped he would believe me."

"Not to be a bitch Britt, really, but you looked kind of guilty when you refused to look at him."

Santana had told Mr. Schue that she'd asked me to film her so she'd know what angle she looked best from, but he had still stormed out of the choir room.

"Thank you for helping me," I reach out for her hand on her leg. Gently I brush my fingers across hers, not daring to do more. She glares at me, but then smiles a little.

"Sure Brit. That's what friends are for." Her eyes aren't meeting mine, but the way her lips curve at the ends make me want to forget that she called us friends. I want to draw her out into the locker rooms and kiss her mouth so hard that she forgets herself that she ever called us friends. She makes me bold and daring and stops me from thinking clearly.

But looking at her acting the way she does, I know that's all we are. Not even best friends it seems, and that makes me worried. I don't like worrying, I don't wear it well. Both my dad and Santana has told me that. If you're a cheerleader you have got to always smile. But hearing that word that used to mean the world to me before, that word that meant that everything was fine and that I wasn't alone, suddenly becomes I word I don't want to use. I secretly swear to myself not to use it for the rest of the week.

We still haven't talked about the fact that we pretty much almost had sex. I'm not sure I want to talk about it. I just want to do it again.

When Mr. Schuester introduces the hot girls on stage I grab my own fingers, seeing San smile, trying to conceal it by biting her lip. The girls throw themselves into a hot dance with yellow, torn up shirts and tight pants, long hair and a lot of booty.

"They're so awesomely hot..." I say to Santana, who looks a little strange with raised eyebrows and a look upon her face that says she wants to join them.

I stare at her, wanting to say something but not finding the words, before I feel her nails trail on the side of my knee. I jump in surprise, before tensing more at her touch. I wish I could enjoy it, but it just makes me feel like I've done too many spins while dancing, and that I have to lie down not to puke all over the floor.

Out of the corner of my eyes I see her biting her lip again and I try to concentrate on the girls dancing. Sure, they're hot, but it's only hairography and bootyography, or whatever. They're not really that good dancers. The steps are okay, nothing too original or too challenging. But with the perfect hair tossing and booty pumping that's going on, not many can tell the difference between dancing and seducing.

Santana's nails are tickling me above the knee now, and concentrate to breathe normally.

Even Mr. Schue, though he look worried and has a blueberry baking in his wife's tummy, seems to be a little too happy to watch. Quinn hits Finn with her hand absent-mindedly, but she still stares, open mouthed.

For a second I wonder if she's impressed or just simply turned on too.

I snap back to the world, unable to ignore the fact how the fingers on my leg is moving more upwards and I lick my lips trying not to sigh.

I've longed for her touch for three days. As soon as I saw her in school yesterday I've wanted to throw myself at her. When I woke up after that night I kissed her lips, but she only gave me half a smile, telling me we should go get breakfast before her parents woke up. She sat on the opposite side of the table when we ate, and then she told me she had to meet up with Todd from football. She gave me a quick hug, before closing the door and leaving me there, keys in one hand and the warmth of her seeping from me like it was snowy outside.

Santana reminds me of where I should be when she bores her nails into my upper thigh as the girls all go down into splits. I bite the inside of my cheek, hard, boring my nails into the sides of my chair.

Since that hug we had not touched, except for her pinky seeming to always find it's way to mine. It kept me sane, but it also made me sad. I didn't even get a whole hand, just a small whisper of entangled fingers. I hadn't dared to let myself do something more, since it felt like she didn't want me too.

Suddenly they were done, and Santana removed her hand, clapping a little too enthusiastic.

"Man that was some hot stuff!"

.

* * *

.

The moment me and Santana became friends changed my life completely.  
We were so small and yet I'll never forget it. I was tall already back then, taller than most girls and boys. I'd been playing on the slide with a couple of other children in my group. They didn't like me very much because I always wanted to do exactly what they did, but always stumbled over stones and spades and ants. My dad used to say I could stumble over my own shadow.

The teachers where nice enough, but I think they somehow thought of me as a little retarded. You notice there is something not right, but as little you have a hard time seing the actual problem at times.

So when one of the other kids, a pudgy girl named Lauren something, pushed me hard when I was standing in line, the others laughed. I didn't cry, I just sat there, staring at her as she stuck out her tongue at me, before running up the ladder to go down the slide. She probably called me something nasty too, but I can't remember that. What I do remember is that I was looking down at the ground and drawing a kitty in the sand when something blocked the sun.

I looked up at a girl about my age, a lot shorter but with hands on her hips, just like a teacher. Her long hair was pushed into a cap, and even though she was wearing a cute, pink dress she looked boyish. She had dirt on her cheek and all over her dress.

"Why do you let them be so mean to you?"

"They're older than me. They're scary." The girls dark eyes narrowed.

"So? You're much bigger than them!" I looked down at her knees that were covered in band aids.

"It's hard to say it. It's always different things to say." The teachers voices always made me dizzy. Either it was "I had that first, could you please give it back" or it was "No, I don't want you to hit me because it hurts and you don't want me to hit you" or sometimes even "I don't want you putting snot on me, it's disgusting and only babies do that". It always took too long to try and get the right one for the right time, and even though I was small I was tired of crying. I used to do it a lot before, cry until my throat was sore and the snot was all over my clothes and my cheeks where red. But after the first weeks of teachers tiring and simply telling me to stop crying, I stopped altogether. After that the teachers always shook their heads at my quietness and left me there by myself to stand up to them.

"Just say no!" I looked up at her and she had the face of someone demanding. She reached out a hand to me, pulling me up. Then she picked up my sun hat that had fallen off, putting it on my head by standing on her toes.

"Wait here." She went over to the slide, fighting herself into the line and just as Lauren was about to go the little brunette said something. My bully looked at her and blew up her cheeks, but then Santana pushed her hard, following by planting her shoes in the girls back at the bottom. She quickly jumped up and stood on the slide, leaning over the pudgy girl who'd been pushed to the ground, and was staring up at her, open mouthed with her small, pig like eyes standing out more than usually because she went so pale.  
Then Lauren started crying, running to a teacher, but Santana just smirked, a smirk I would learn to know very well during the years that we would be friends, and walked back to me.

"W-what did you say?" I wondered, almost too afraid to ask. I'd never seen Lauren cry before.

"Nothing much," she shrugged, sounding like an adult. "She's not scary at all." I felt mesmerized at that moment. The girl standing with her legs so widely apart, looking up at me was the first one in my age to really care. In that moment she felt like a knight in shining armour.

"Do you want to be my best friend?" I blurted out, not able to contain my excitement. Her smile turned kind, and she took my hand.

"Okay, I'll be your best friend. Let's play race cars!"

After that day Santana and I became inseparable. She was loyal and fierce and always wanted to make me laugh. No one ever picked on me again during our years together. And like I said, I don't cry easily - the first time I cried, I mean really cried, in years was that late sunday afternoon when Santana appeared in my backyard, sweaty and breathing heavily from running all the way from home. I was sitting in the grass, playing with my Barbie when she tumbled through the hedge. I often see her expression in my nightmares. Her eyes wide and black, grass sticking out from her dark curls and with her mouth open as if in schock. I'd run up, not daring to ask her with words but I know my eyes did it for me, and she didn't want to tell me, so she hugged me. But her super hard hug told me what she couldn't - we were being torn apart. And so the tears surfaced again, and I had no chance at stopping them.

In a way, Santana made me who I am today. I'm not sure if it's only a good thing.

I guess it's not that surprising that teachers don't take time to try and teach me stuff now. It's like they gave up already when I was small, and since no one really thought helping me over and over would do any difference, they left me misspelling words and writing colours instead of dates and drawing cats instead of writing essays.

I'm not that dumb. I could write an essay, though I would probably misspell a lot. I always thought it was nicer to write "orange" instead of autumn, because at least I could spell orange.  
But in the end... I just got tired of trying. People blamed different things. My mom and dad said it was because of us living in Germany until I was three, but I really doubt that's the problem. The teachers liked to call it dyslexia and the kurator liked to call it ADHD. I think it was a mix of being simply different and not having teachers that wanted to teach me. The only ones who taught me things were the ones who did it with care. My mom taught me maths, which I'm great at. My dad taught me about animals, which I love. My dance teacher taught me to use my long body to my advantage, and I love dancing. Santana taught me about friendship... and every day she tells me stuff that I live by, trusting her blindly. So like I said... I'm not so sure it was right to let her mold me in the way she has.

.

* * *

.

"Wow, especially that DJ girl, she was smokin'." Santana is still going on about their preformance, and she's not easily impressed.  
"Should you really be saying it so loudly?" I say, staring at Finn staring at Rachel, Puck and Rachel staring at Quinn, and Quinn looking at us. I feel a little sad about it, because both Quinn and Santana refuses to talk to each other. Quinn mostly hangs out with Finn and Santana is mad at her for... well, mostly for getting knocked up, I guess... and because Sue pressures her to be meaner than usually. San keeps telling me that Puck's hers, but I know they never do anything but have sex. Maybe, on some level, they understand each other. It's not like Puck and Quinn are together or anything... but the way they look at each other is hard to miss.  
I feel Santana stare at me and her arm shoots out to stop me.

"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, someone could think that you're... into that stuff." I still can't look at her. Now I look at my feet instead.  
"I just-" My eyes search for hers. They're shifting. "I was interested their routine, that's all," she shrugs and look away, brushing me off just like that. "It's so different from what we do in cheerios and here." My heart sinks in my chest, I almost feel a little dissapointed that she didn't see the girls in the same way I did. Another part of me feels relief... that I'm the only girl she wants to experiment with.

"Like I told you, it's just hairography..." I mostly say it to myself, but she hears me.  
"Then why don't you teach me?" I look at her, wondering if she's being serious.

"Teach me." She's putting on her demanding voice now. I neither know how nor want to object. I just blink, smile slightly and throw my hair into a little fit of spasms.  
"Pretend you're being tasered," I say confidently now. "Don't think about your body like a body, think of it as a... as jelly and stuff!" I shake it, moving closer to her, making her smile slightly, when I start humming the song it turns into that laugh I love so much.

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly..." she sings quietly, laughing again as she leans into me and I sing with her, making us both laugh and the rest of the world dissapear for a few seconds. I always feel this way when I dance with Santana... rehearsing with her and having her eyes only on me and knowing I'm the one she needs  
My eyes creep down to her skirt and she sees it and bites her lip for a second in a way that makes me lean in closer, the hummingbirds humming in my lips.  
"All right, guys, I did some thinking last night." Mr. Schuester inteerupts us, and we break apart and I nod, laughing encourigangly.

"Just like that." I try to keep the smile on my lips, but I know what I wanted to do seconds before and I push away the thought with the little self control I have, reminding myself of the face she wore when she slammed the door. Like Mittens when I tell him that he can't pee on our neighbhours lawn. Annoyance and frustration when he used to sit on the garden table, staring into their rows of roses.

In that way I think that Santana and Mittens are much alike... neither of them likes to be told what they can and cannot do. I wonder who told Santana she couldn't kiss me... Probably the same people who tells Kurt he can't date the guys in school... It's gotta be someone very mean, and I hope for a second it's not God like my grandma once said. Because that would mean God doesn't care about rainbow children and that's just... mean!

"I think I found our new number for sectionals. We're going to do the title song from "Hair"." Me and Santana exchange a look.  
"More jelly," I say quietly, and Santana looks away, before opening her mouth as if to say something in her defence.

"I..." The look she gives me before she turns away seems... there's Mittens again, but with a dose of the look Bailey wears when I have to tie her outside of a store.  
I start thinking about Mittens again, missing him like crazy as I look down on my hands. Now I have neither Santana nor Mittens in my bed... and Bailey just won't do, because she snores and steals all of the duvet.

I've put out his favourite muffins, the ones with mint leaves and butter cream inside as often as I can in all sorts of places, but I've only seen birds and homeless people eat them. Once I'm sure I even saw Finn munching on one.

Me, Daphne and Santana has knocked on doors and my parents have asked everyone in the vet clinic and at the café. No sign of him...  
It feels like I've lost an uncle or something.

I feel her staring at me, but I fix my skirt and let a sad sigh escape my lips. Then I look up, listen to Mr. Schue again and laugh in just the right time as Puck winks at me with a huge wig of curly hair. I'm a cheerleader again, pushing Mittens away. After all, worry doesn't suit me.

.

* * *

.

"Who're you texting?" Santana is reading a magazine about hairdos, trying to decide one to try out on me, but time and time again she picks up her phone to text. I try to resist the urge to hop on top of her and read it myself. That's the way I usually do it.

"Puck." I swallow.

"What's he saying?" She picks up the phone again, push some buttons and then looks back at the magazine.

"That he's horny." I turn around in my chair.

"Isn't he supposed to be with Quinn?"

"Umm," she looks up, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, they're babysitting. So what?"

"I just thought they were... ducks..." I whisper quietly, not wanting Santana to be mad.

"He's mine, remember? I'm putting him on a chain instead of a leash, and to keep him from barking I need to throw him a bone."

"Why would Puck want a bone?" I ask, confused. Santana just ignores me, texting again.  
"Santana, what kind of bones are you throwing him...?" I was going to tell her not to give him chicken bone because it's really soft and the tiny pieces can hurt him, but...

"I'm just sexting him. No biggie. Do you like this?" She shows me a picture of Taylor Swift with her curly hair up in a knot with flowers. I do like it, so I nod, but I keep my brows furrowed.

"I thought we were hanging out, San. Why are you sexting Puck...?"

"Ugh, you're starting to sound like Quinn, please stop." I swallow, the pain in my stomache stronger than ever now. I hate it when she's like this...

"That's mean San. I don't message Mike that I have no panties on while I'm with you..."

She stares more intently into the magazine, before she looks up at me.

"Sorry, BrittBritt. You know sexting doesn't mean anything to me..." I swallow, but feeling a bit better at her kind tone. She said sorry, and that is unusual.

"You did an amazing job teaching everyone about Hairography today," she keeps on going, smiling at me. "I was laughing so loudly with everyone I almost forgot we're not supposed to be in there to have fun." A hummingbird tickles my heart, making it laugh and I can't keep the smile away. She looks down into the magazine again, trying to hide her satisfied smile and starts mumbling about the things we will need for my hairdo. I brush my hair again, looking at her long dark eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks and her red, tasty lips moving slowly... The similiar song hops onto me, and the melody reminds me that I haven't told her yet.

"It's hard, for me, to say what I want from you..." I sing as I brush my hair, looking at Santana's reflection."...trying to form the words to this song, how, I mean, I'm feeling..." I stare at her intently now, the nervousness in my voice showing. She must feel it, because she looks up.  
"Don't stop," she tells me, just the thing I told her when I heard her sing like this for the first time.  
"So many colours in this distraction, brown hair makes her lips more red..." I blush, looking away and keep singing to my hair instead. "Words would not describe how I'm feeling, dries up on my tounge, but it's useless...

She makes my heart scream color,  
I know by now she should have found me out! Ouou, Ouou!  
Ever since I have been exhausted,

The color makes her smile...!" I see her smiling at my words, forgetting the magazine and it gets to me too, as I put the brush to my mouth instead, singing louder.

"She's always waiting for me to speak, but all she hears is mindless noise!  
Though I might not communicate, my heart, she knows the colour I'm screaming...

she makes my heart scream color...  
I know by now, she should have found me out! Ouou! Ouou!"

I jump to the stick, standing up, showing off by dancing around, shaking my hair and skirt and she sits up, shaking her head while laughing with me and it feels...!  
"I feel it coming... " I grin at her, inching closer as she sings along, almost screaming the words; "I feel it coming! I feel it coming! I feel it coming! I feel it coming! Ooooh! Oooh! Ooooh!" I jump into the bed with her, leaning against her, and even though she hasn't heard the song before she hums with me, trying to sing along.

"Ooou, she makes my heart scream colour,

I know by now, she should've found me out!" She "ooouh's" with me.  
"And ever since I have been exhausted,

The colour... makes... her... smile...!" I lean my back against her shoulder and she pushes me away, still laughing her melodic laugh. Then we both relax and just look at each other.

"That was the ballad I was supposed to sing to you..." My words are out and I don't think twice about them because they're the truth. But Santana looks scared, like I just told her I had hid Coach Sylvester under my bed. She didn't like it, the song. I feel my heart grow heavy... it feels like she's thrown it down the stairs.  
"But, but I wasn't sure it was a ballad so it was good I didn't sing it." I tell her, getting up from the bed and leaning into the mirror to apply some more lip gloss.

Santana keeps quiet, looking at my doll house with Barbie and Ken in bed. I wish I could hear her thoughts... She pats the spot Mittens loves to lay on and then she stands up without a warning. She picks up her bag, throws a look in my direction and rests her hand on the door.  
"I need to... I really need to go. Puck needs some real life sexting..." She says it with a mean smile, and I just look back at her reflection.  
"Okay... Don't let any dinosaurs bite you," I say as she pulls open the door, almost trips over Bailey who storms in, and leave me there. With a sigh I sink down onto the chair.  
Bailey sneezes in the way she does when Santana doesn't pat her and comes up to me to put her head in my lap. I smile, pat her and hum silently.  
"and ever since I have been exhausted..."

.

* * *

.

I was kind of mad, but I pushed it away. She needed to do what she needed to do.  
"Where are your other half?" Mercedes asks me as she joins me, Kurt and Tina on the chairs set up in a line.

"This is the whole me," I say, innocently. They'll think I don't understand, but of course I do. When me and Santana are apart people notice. Kurt puts a hand on my knee.

"She's just wondering where Santana is, honey." He says it kindly. Truth is, Kurt and me are pretty alike. We don't really care much about each other when I'm with the cheerios and he's with Mercedes, but the times we're on our own our friendship goes back to the way it's been since the first time we spoke. I'd been on my way to my car and Puck and some other guys from the football theme had been forcing him into a dumpster.

I got really mad at them, but it's true what Quinn says. Sometimes a bitchy behaviour can get you and anyone out of anything. At least if you've got the boobs to be a bitch. And I do.

I'd just went right up to Puck, given him a cold, blank stare, so unlike my usual chirpy smiles, and told him he was so totally not hot raping the gay kid. That did him good. He started mouthing off, and the guys seemed too scared to touch Kurt.

Then I'd simply said that's what all the girls on the cheerios thought, since it seemed like they all paid more attention to chasing him than chasing us. I don't think they really bought it, because later I heard them high fiving each other about putting Kurt's head into the toilet. But it worked for a moment, and Kurt had been his usual diva self, sneering at me that he could take care of himself.

I'd just smiled at him, saying I knew that but I hadn't wanted his Jimmy Choo's to get dirty. After that we'd somehow become good friends.

I'd helped him with his dancing and me and Tina had gotten friends as well. I really liked Tina. She was a good dancer too.

"She's probably off stealing some kid's lunch money," I said, unbothered. Mercedes oohed, but I simply shrugged. Just then Santana walked into the room with Puck and Mr. Schuester.

And a whole bunch of good looking, deaf kids.

We did our thing, shaking our hairs and it was super fun, espescially to see all of their faces afterwards. I sneaked a peak at Santana. She looked sweaty and insanely hot with her dark hair in her face. She turned as she we finished, but I ignored her and sat a few seets away.

Then the deaf started singing, and at first I just sat, listening to the weird noise that was supposed to be singing. Then I started to like it. Then I felt a genuine smile creep onto my lips. They were really enjoying it, this way of singing, and their hands made them look like they were casting a spell. I love magic, and this definatly felt like it.

Suddenly i heard Mercedes strong, loving voice rising together with theirs. My eyes snapped over to her, before they went over to San sitting just two chairs away, leaning out to smile at me. I looked away and when I saw Mercedes stand up, I hummed with before getting up to take part in the magic.

Santana and the rest wasn't far behind.

"I hope some day,  
you will join us,  
and the world will be as one..."

She stood beside a cute girl in short, coppery hair, concentrating hard I think. Then her laugh was heard as we followed the movements, boobs to tickling our stomachs.

I threw my hair over my shoulder, feeling that it was in the way of the purpose of the song, as Santana threw a wink at me over her shoulder, then looking away. Her cheeks had looked redder than usual.

.

* * *

.

The true colors preformance was... hard.

The coincidence of Mr. Schue choosing a song about showing our true colors was about as likely as me and Santana being placed to sit beside each other. But we had and somehow, since I had refused to look at her, I'd noticed everything else. It had seemed like everyone's true colors were coming out.

I saw Rachel and Finn staring at each other... golden.

I saw Tina and Artie looking, real happiness in their eyes... red.

I saw Kurt look at Finn, and it hurt me... purple, like the mix of light blue and baby pink.

I even caught Rachel glancing at Quinn with jelousy, something fiery in her look and the way her fingers gripped her thighs... green.

And the most obvious was the pain in Puck's eyes and how Quinn longed for him... Blue, dark as night. My hummingbirds tickled my ribs.

Santana looked in front of her when I dared to sneak a peek, a little sad. The she laughed, but I just looked away, singing, feeling my heart hurt at every note of Tina's voice.

And the colours inside me where an endless rainbow.

After telling the others goodbye and giving Tina a ride home, during which we talked and sang, sang mostly because Tina never stutter when she sing, I unlocked the door, knowing I'd be alone.

It as nice. I went into the kitchen only to pick out the biggest chocolate muffin from the fridge and biting into it. Bailey had gone with daddy to work today so she wasn't home either... the house was so quiet that my footsteps almost echoed in the kitchen. I picked out a glass to pour me some milk when the doorbell rang.

I threw a glance at the clock, took another big bite of the cupcake as I walked throught the hallway, closing my eyes for a second as the afternoon sun reflected and blinded me. When the doorbell rang a second time, I called;

"Coming!" Swallowing the crumbles in my mouth, I put the cupcake in the stairs and opened the door. There she was, red cheeks and heavily breathing, just like that sunday so many years ago. Her eyes met mine and I'm lost in them for a second, suprised and relieved they're not black, but it's usual hot coke colour.  
Then, when a paw fought the darkness of her curls, I realized why she was so out of breath, standing at my door instead of storming in like she usually does.

In her arms was a little, chubby kitten.

.

* * *

**A/N: Ooooh, what next? XD**


	11. Mattress

******With you on my shoulder****  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: Lord Tubbington is not mine. But the world is his. We all know it.**

A/N: I know, I know. I suck for taking so long. But please do forgive me. I came to London two weeks ago, I'm staying here a year... so some of the Brittana writing had to take a break. Also, I've been awkwardly into writing a Faberry one shot that I'll upload some day soon ^^

But anyway, so that you'll forgive me... Here's som Brittana fluff!

.

* * *

**.**

**Chapter 11: Mattress**

**_(Santana)_**

I was on my way home, dodging orange leaves that tried sticking themselves to my hair.  
I'd been seriously moved by the true colours and deaf choir preformances - not that I would ever truly admit it. The true colors preformance was really insulting at first since it kept reminding me of Brittany's VIP preformance in her bedroom, but then after some rehearsing it became something good instead. I couldn't keep the smile away as I sung the words, for the first time wanting to show the glee club how much I loved being a part of them. Momentarily, of course.

But the down side was that me and Brittany wasn't really speaking. I knew it was my fault, being the judgemental and annoying bitch that I am.  
I had ignored the possibility that Brittany had even tried finding a song that fit me, and scared to death by the thought of the song being anything deeper than "Wanna be" by Spice Girls.

So I was relieved I didn't get to sing my song and refused to bring it up.  
But this afternoon I hurried home and stopped to flirt with my neighbour Pete to make me feel better. He's 25 and has a girlfriend, but hey, she's not my problem.

"So, I know you girls are crazy about animals. Wanna come inside and see what I've got?" I answered quickly and right on.  
"I don't know Pete, how big is this animal?" I let my eyes travel down to his pants, and when he laughed and waved his big hands I raised an eyebrow and grinned.  
"No, no not that animal. Though he'd really like to meet you some time," he winked at me. "Nah, this is Catnip. We thought she was just fat until a couple of weeks ago when I opened my wardrobe and found her with four kittens on my old football jacket."  
I nodded, pretending to be interested, touching my neck to make him look at it.  
"Sure, show 'em to me. I like pussycats." He put his hands on my lower back and guided me in, while mumbling into my hair;  
"Oh, so do I. I love pussy... cats" Ugh. He was pretty disgusting. I mean, he was popular but truly kind of pathetic, but he smiled a lot and he never tried anything with me, even though his flirting were always turned on... and needed some serious work. But I was used to dirty talk after all those nights with Puck, so I didn't really notice it. My head was like a filter, and just took out anything I didn't need to have an answer for.  
Besides he had no idea how well that seemed to explain me too these day. More and more often, when I lay in bed trying to get myself going, Brittany's long, smooth legs and lavender blue panties would sneak into my mind. Peeking at her in the locker room had become the best part of my day. Now I shrugged it off, enjoying the feel of his big hands resting on my back.

"In here," he said slowly,leading me into the living room and there lay Catnip on the sofa, still fat, but with four small kittens running around her on the mat. "The white one is sold to old Mrs. Rose, and the two brown ones we're gonna keep. But this fellah," he said, nudging at the striped, fat kitten with his foot. "We're gonna have to sell him too. He can't stay, he eats way too much already and we think he might have diabetes or something." The kitten gave up a mew that sounded like a rubber duck, before attacking my feet. I nudged it away, but it just wiggled it's little butt in the air, before trying to swallow my shoe laces again.

"Wow, he's kinda cute" I admitted, sitting down to nudge the thing with my hand instead. It purred loudly, before burying it's teeth into my thumb. It didn't hurt since it was just playing, but I couldn't shake it off.

"He sure seems to like you," Pete nodded, sitting beside me on the floor, picking the white furrball up, and the little angel started licking his hands. I liked the black and brown one better. He put up a fight, and charmed me against all odds. I didn't want a kitten, I'd never wanted an animal, but... I gotta admit I was a little tempted as he bore his golden eyes into mine, trying to challenge me.

"My dad want to just throw him out because he keeps destroying our furniture, but I hope we'll get him sold before that happens," Pete told me, shrugging. "He's worth a lot." He didn't really care, I could tell. It was probably time for him to move out, but he seemed to like living with his parents and in Lima Heights it's not really unusual for guys to move out first when they hit the big 3.0.

Then it hit me, and it all just seemed too perfect. I ignored the animals around me and leaned into Pete, putting my hands behind me and sticking out my rack to make sure he saw the shirt tightening over them.

"Well, Pete, I have a proposition to make..." I used my sexiest voice, and I could almost smell on him that his pants grew tighter against his crotch.

"If I were to take this kitten off your hands, maybe you'd give him to me in exchange for... a little get together." Pete's hand gripped the side of my back, and I pretended to give up a sigh.

"What kind of get together?" He asked me, murmuring it in what he must've thought to be a sexy voice. I tried not to laugh.

"Well, that's up to you. Just you and me of course," I said breathily, letting my hand rest on his upper thigh. God, I had him and it felt good.

"Somewhere out of sight... we wouldn't want someone to disturb us, I mean." I turned to look at Pete, and his eyes were glossy.

"Uhm, sure..." He let his hand travel down to my butt on the floor. I smiled wickedly, picked up the kitten and climbed on top of him, feeling the hardness against me. Then I leaned in to whisper;

"Pick me up at eight on tuesday," He closed his eyes, swallowing and I quickly moved off of him and went out the door, cat fussing in my arms, walking quickly towards Britt's neighbourhood.

It was a pretty expensive cat, I knew that because Cruella had went on and on about Catnip being some kind of hundred dollar rarity, and even though I wouldn't have minded paying this was so much more fun and at the same time would leave me more money to spend on clothes.

I needed Brittany to forgive me, she was the best I had. When she wasn't my friend I was out of control. Not being near her made me act without thinking, like this afternoon after Mercedes told me about Puck being the father. I left her immeadiatly, slamming Quinn's locker shut and yelling at her to keep her dirty bitch paws off my man.

It was Kurt's stare when he went by that kept me from telling her that I knew who the bastards father was. I calmed down enough. I don't even care about Puck and Quinn that much, but when I hurt Brittany I just needed something to take out my frustration on, and Quinn had always been there for me to do that before.

It wasn't eaxactly Puck I was missing. I needed my cheerbitch back. She was the one who got me back on track, who pushed me down when I got too high and mighty. She was my friend.

I winced at the claws of the little monster in my arms, but instead of banning it, I tickled it under the chin, and it started purring loudly. That gave me enough of a thrill to make me run the last few hundred meters, and then push the doorbell with my elbow. It was quiet and for a second I was scared she wasn't home. But she had to be. I pushed it again.

"Coming!" I heard her voice from inside, and then there she was, staring at me in complete shock, not even seing the kitten. But he decided himself to remind us by boxing at my curls, and Brittany's lovely, blue eyes grew even wider as she saw the kitten.

"Hi," I told her, and she looked up at me again. "I thought... you might like him." I didn't know what to say. Suddenly I realized how stupid I'd been. Bringing a cat without even asking for permission from the parents. I was trying to put a life into Brittany's hands, force her to feed another mouth while she was still hoping to find her old cat. I suddenly felt ashamed and the grip on the kitten doubled.

It squeked and stared at me angrily, before turning to Brittany and reaching out his nose to smell her. It was amazing how every single animal we met seemed to love Brittany. I guess it was because she was so much like an animal herself. Selfless and soft and happy go lucky most of the time. Like a little puppy or maybe a baby duck.

"Hi there, chubby." The cat pawed her hand at that, and Brittany laughed. "Sorry, you're perfect." At that he started purring so I pushed him into Brittany's outstretched hands. She held it up to her face and then put it on it's back in her arms, like you would craddle a baby.

"Santana, he's so lovely!" She exclaimed without looking at me, rocking the kitten and rubbing it's stomach.

"Well, I traded him for you..." I said, shrugging, looking away not to blush at the way she was handling the thing.

"Traded? Traded him for what?" She suddenly stared at me, and her hand shot out to pull me inside. I closed the door.

"Oh, just a date with Pete. I was going to date him eventually anyway." She stares at me, still gripping my arm and having the furrball on her other.

"But what about Puck?" I just laugh.

"What about him? We're just having sex." She seemed a little taken aback by that, but then the kitty yawned and she looked at it and put it down on the floor. It started rubbing her legs and when it noticed us looking it went away to smell the shoes on the floor instead, it's tail shivering.

"I don't know what I was thinking, just bringing him here without-" I didn't get longer before Brittany had thrown her arms around me, almost making us topple over, and planted a big kiss on my cheek.

"I love him, San! He's the best present ever!" I started blushing, hugging her back and not being able to stop myself, I let my hands do circles on her back. She kissed my cheek again and tore herself away.

"Let's show him the house," she said happily and scooped up the kitten. I noticed the muffin in the stairs and picked it up and took a bite before following them into the house. I really needed the chocolate to keep my fingers away from her.

.

* * *

.

"Should we ditch english today?" Brittany asks me quietly as she appears beside me.  
My eyes are torn away from staring at Quinn, and I take a second to look at her. My hand quickly moves to fix my ponytail, trying to hide the fact that my stomach just did a summersault.

"I think we should." Brittany nods, pushes her books into her locker and I go back to looking at Quinn. She standing all alone in her light pink dress. It makes her look like a five year old, but she does look innocent in it. She always did know how to rock a look. I can't believe I'm going to admit it, but I miss her. She's been staying away from me in fear of being pushed away, but now I decide to finally listen to Brittany.

"Let's hang out with Quinn," I say, ignoring Brittany's suprised look. "Shut up and let's go!" I say, shutting her locker and moving around her. When Quinn sees us heading her way she puts her arms on her hips, true cheerbitch style.

"Yes?" she asks. I roll my eyes.

"Let's ditch class and check out the earlier yearbooks." She gives me a smile and moves in beside me, not leading like we're all used to. It's strange, that's all I can say.

"So, how are you?" Quinn doesn't look at me as she answers.

"I'm getting by. You?"

"Working it." And that's it. We look at each other and smile, before I grab a year book and we both sit down opposite each other. Britt follows me, moving her chair so close that we'll be able to share the same book, her knee pressing against mine.

"Find Manhands, she's everywhere and makes a good drawing board," Quinn muses as I open the first page and right on cue, there she is. Brittany draws out her pink sharpie and hands me her blue one. Quinn smiles, but soon she's drifting away. Ever since she got pregnant she seems to have a lot to think about.

Britt is drawing an affro and a mustauche on Rachel while I'm laughing my ass off.

We both have our hands to our necks, leaning in towards each other. I try to concentrate on my picture, but my face feels tingly after all the smiling. Brittany's shoe is suddenly on my leg, and I avoid looking up, although I feel like a balloon is sweeling in my chest.

"So, Quinnie!" Brittany interrupts her thoughts, but keeps her foot running up and down my bare leg. I bite the top of the pen as I keep looking at the pages, like I'm trying to decide between dorky glasses or devil horns.

"Mhhm?" Her voice is a bit faraway.

"Santana got me a new kitten yesterday!" Quinn's stare is on me, I can tell, but I don't look up.

"Did she now? That's great Britt."

"I know, but I don't know what to name him!"

"Just name him Mittens Junior."

"That's not very nice. Besides, he's a cat. He needs a real name." Quinn laughs quietly, which makes me look up.

"What's a real name then?"

"Well, Mittens real name was Mittens the Mighty. Like the king."

"What King?"

"You know, that King..."I lock eyes with the girl opposite me, and simply shrug.

"Okay, so King Tuna then."

"Noo, he doesn't like Tuna."

"How does he look like?"

"Like a fat maffia boss."

"I meant... what color." Quinn says, laughing.

"He's black, brown and white. And fat."

"Well, name him King Garfield then."

"But he doesn't look like Garfield. Their only resemblence is the fat. And a cat can't be a king. Not really."

"Football?" Quinn laughs as Brittany seems to ponder this and that makes her foot stop going up and down my leg. It annoys me.

"It doesn't sound nice..."

"Just name him after Quinn. They're gonna be just as fat." Quinn glares at me, but Britt looks curious.

"Lord Quinn?"

"Wait," Quinn asks, "a cat can't be a king but it can be a Lord?" Britt nods.

"No, like..." I smile at Quinn, who ignores me. "Lord Tubbers or something."

"Lord Tubbington!" Brittany says loudly, smiling at Quinn, earning a harsh "schhh" from the librarian. "Oh please Quinn, could I? It would be the perfect name! Of course he'd have to like it, but, please!" She just nods, shocked.

"Okay..."

"Yeei!" She jumps up and kisses Quinn on her cheek, then gets banned by the librarian for being so loud. I grind my teeth and starts getting up to defend her, but then I feel Quinn staring angrily at me. I give it right back to her, seeing the smudge of Britt's lipgloss on her cheek. Then we both realise something about me that I am not ready to share.

She starts smiling, raising a questioning eyebrow. _Like a shark_, I think. Hopefully her life will be too full of her own drama for her to go creating more for me.

"I just thought it fit the cat, that's all. It's a compliment, if anything," I say as nonchalantly as I can, a little desperate to get her on my better side. "By the way, Quinn, guess who I've got a date with?"

.

* * *

.

I stumbled through the gate, trying not to swear since I knew Bailey would start barking.

I was drunk, some of it had worn off, but I was still a little unsteady on my feet. I also had a throbbing pain inbetween my legs and lower back. But I'm used to it.

I bite back the sting as I sneak behind the rows of flowers, finding the long wall of the creepers on the white, almost ladder-like wooden thing against the wall. It's just outside of Brittany's window, and I see it slightly open.

I kick off my shoes and hide them in the big Magnolia bush and take a deep breath, before starting to climb my way up.

I think it's a mix of the alcohol and the thought of reminding Brittany of our childhood, when I used to climb the tree outside her window every summer morning, waking her up by singing outside of her window. I guess I also want to hide the fact that I desperatly need her after a night like this. Loosing Mr Schuester was too part of the pain, but I was pretending it wasn't. I hadn't said anything about it and had dropped some nasty comment that had made Tina start to cry. But Britt will understand how I really feel. I'm still gonna be my own, ignorant and mean self, but at least I'll know she's going to care enough to see through my pretence.

I snicker at the comment creeping up in my head, and when my eyes are over the side of the window pane, looking at Brittany in her bed with one of her big cat facts book, looking like she's reading aloud to Lord Tubbington.

I freeze.  
Her long hair's hanging on one side of her head, flowing down with slight curls. It's the first time I find them honey coloured, and even from here I see her blue eyes, almost lavender in this light, moving across the page. Her fingers reach out to pat the kitten before she turns the page with long, smooth fingers I long to feel in my hair.

That thought shakes my cheer muscles awake, and I start humming on the shark theme, pushing me up so that my whole head can be seen. Brittany looks up and looks around the room, whispering:

"Who's there?" I put my hands up on the window, pushing it more open and smiling.

"Just a vampire waiting for you to fall asleep so I can stare longingly at you from the shadows," I say quietly, starting to giggle when she looks at me and Lord Tubbington runs up to me, taking a big bite of my nose. I swat him away, pushing with my toes as I fall onto the floor. I try to quiet my giggles, and Brittany hurriedly tip toes over to my side.

"Don't bite, Tubbington," Brittany bans her kitten. "And don't even think about biting him back!" She gives me such a threatening look I have to keep my hand to my mouth not to wake her parents. She kneels down, takes one look at my giggling state and dissapears out of the room like a shadow.

I rolled around so that I lay on my back and Tubbington paws up on my chest, staring at me with blinking eyes. I stop laughing. He was looking right through me. For one drunken second I thought we were the same. Then Brittany came into the room again, shooed the kitten off of me and I sat up. She pressed a glass into my hand.

"Water," she says as quietly as she can without whispering. I giggle into my glass as I think of her whispers, loud and hissing. I love hearing them tickling my ear. Man, this booze really isn't good for my self control. I'm such a horn dog.

"I made you a sandwich," she says, but then she freezes and stare at my arm. I look at it, still drinking the water, so the gesture makes me spill some. It's hard to miss the big, bluish bruises that are forming on my upper arm. Brittany give me a confused look. I hate those looks, and I hate needing to explain them.

"I'm not friggin undead, climbing up here is hard, okay?" She still looks at me with those same eyes as that stupid cat, knowing exactly how I got them. Or maybe she doesn't, but she knows I am lying about this.

Either way she keeps staring.

"It was impossible to get into a good position in the backseat..." I say, annoyance in my voice. I stand up, throwing my handbag off my shoulder.

"Santana..." I refuses to meet her. She's behind me, sitting on the bed with a squeek. I think she have a feeling how I'll react if she touches me, so she doesn't.

"Have you any idea how hard it is to get an orgasm in a car?" I ask, putting on my meanest smile. "Not even my cheermuscles could pull that off, not cramping in that space."

"San." I ignore her and that is when she does it. She places her fingers on my arm, the bruised one, and I feel the familiar sting of warm tears in my eyes. I can't take it, so I pull away, throw the dress over my head and straddle her, putting my arms around her neck.

The last few times we had crossed the line it had been almost like she as playing a game with me. Some crazy ass game that made her look weak and pretty one second and then viscious and flirty the next.

I couldn't keep being victimized by her like this, it was like... It might not be, but it really felt like she was screwing me. And not just literally (well, not yet) but swrewing me over in more ways than one at least. I know, I have trust issues. But considering my parents and earlier friends, and so-called boyfriends, I think I'm entitled to a few.

So feeling like the victim had to stop. I couldn't keep letting my heart take off on a high speed chase every time she sang a song and told me it got her thinking of me... But I couldn't keep away from her either.

So I did the only sane thing I could think of, the most natural thing for me to do. I turned the situation around and turned on my sexiness.

I let her see the fire in my eyes, making sure she didn't miss it this time because it sucked out all my power, and leaned down to press my cheek to hers.

"All I could think about tonight was doing this," I admitted, voice trembling so hard I'm not sure it was on purpose or because I couldn't control it. Brittany held her breath, her hand on my bad arm as I hummed a laugh against her ear, brushing my lips over it and breathing into it heavily. She sighed, and I moved my hand from the covers, down across her between her breasts, crossing her stomach and letting my nails trail across the front of her panties. I don't know if she was just tolerating me, or enjoying this as much as I was. It almost made the big lump in my throat to go away.  
Brittany moaned quietly, a strangled version of the ones she'd given me in my room last weekend, and buried her face in my hair to try and muffle the rest of the sound. I moved to kiss her, and she moved her hand to find my thighs, but I flinched and pressed hers to her own instead. I had to stiffle a moan myself, and it felt a lot better. Then I took a hold of both of her wrists, pushing them over her head, leaning down to bite her lower lip. She moaned again, louder, and I knew it was dangerously enough to be doing this when the parents where in the house. I let it go, and she licked my lower lip, before licking her own and then kissing me sweetly. A chasty, teasing one, letting me know she was letting me take the upper hand. I kissed her harder, rubbing my fingers against the fabric and felt her tense, then relax. I did too, not having the muscles left to move away, so I simply lay on top of her. The feel of having her under me made the pain of my own experiences seem more dull. I wanted her to do something like this to me, to make me forget that he ever touched me. In a way I wanted her to be jelous, in a way I wanted her to do what Pete had done to me, but harder, better, winning and wanting to win over him.

She rolled me over gently, lay on the side of me, and inspected my arm.  
The cold, sick feeling that was about to grow bigger in my chest went away as soon as her inspecting fingers turned into lips brushing against my darkening skin.

Brittany hummed as she kissed her way up my arm, slowly across my collarbone before trailing down towards my stomach. Her fingers followed, leaving circles on my skin. I sighed, feeling the tension slip off of me and the heat of her touch build. I was turned on, but I was also feeling very... comfortable. I realized I was comfortable lying here in my underwear, being all exposed. In fact I was more exposed than usually because Brittany seemed to have no intentions to screw me at all. Her mouth reached my panties, and she breathed there for a few seconds as if asking permission, making my breath hitch, before she gently pushed my legs apart, trailing her fingers over those same bluish marks there, before trying to kiss them better. The funny thing is that it worked. After she was done I was half asleep, dripping wet inbetween my legs but also feeling very comfortable.

I opened my eyes to see her sneaking out of bed to turn off the lights and shake of her pants. Then she kissed Lord Tubbington on top of his head where he was sleeping on her make up chair, before pulling up the covers.

"Let's go to sleep, Edward" she mumbled under her breathe as we both crept under the same duvet. I tried to turn my back against her, but she cuddled close, putting her arms around me and her face in my neck, and I put my hand on top of hers. Without saying another word I cuddled closer into her, letting her hold me for once, knowing I couldn't keep it up without terrible consequences. She was my best friend for heavens sake.

It's not unusual for girls to experiment and spooning, but they were not supposed to be longing for it. I was far away from ready to face the fact that I might be falling for Brittany. And that I might've always been falling.

No, I was like, light years away from it. And the more I would want to screw Brittany for screwing with my head, the farther away from facing it I would go.

.

* * *

**A/N: Soooo... what now? Oh dear. AND WHO IS EXCITED FOR SEASON 3? I KNOW I AM XD**


	12. So 90's Sectionals

**With you on my shoulder**

**By HeartofSummer**

**Genre: Brittany and Santana romance**

**Copyright: Lord Tubbington is not mine. But the world is his. We all know it.**

A/N: Lord Tubbington is here to remind you I just moved to London... I have got a life for once! Doesn't mean I've forgotten about this fic though! Bear with me, alright?

* * *

**Chapter 12  
So 90's (Sectionals)**

**(Brittany)**

**.**

I throw the rest of the so called "chicken tikka" away and turn to make sure Santana's still right behind me, happier now.

"Feeling better?" she asks me, and I just shrug. The baby bird in my locker started singing because it was happy, and the janitor had to bend it open. I had been sad all morning about it, and they had made me go talk to the scary cleaner lady. I don't know if she actually is the cleaner, because she doesn't look like it, but she forced me to talk to her about the bird and why I wanted to lock "the poor animal" in there. She even asked me if I felt like the bird. I told her my dad's the vet and that I had birds inside me, but that I knew I wasn't a bird. The good thing was that the bird had gotten well enough to fly, and most techers had spent all morning trying to catch it. Now it was sitting in the ceiling of the cafeteria, singing.  
I look down and nod. She gives me a smile, reaching out to entangle our pinkies. I smile too, though a bit nervously since I'm about to ask her something embaressing. But the best thing about having a little sister and asking my best friend over to help me babysit, is that no one would ever think it was a date. Not even Santana.

"Uhm, San..."

"Mhhm?" she asks, our elbows brushing against each other as we try to get through the crowd. I catch a glimpse of Finn laughing at Pucks joke, while Quinn is leaning her head on his shoulder, staring at Puck's plate. She looks a bit sick. I should thank her later. I got the idea about babysitting from her. I even begged my parents to go have a night out.

"Uhm... I've got to babysit tonight. Would you mind helping me?" Santana doesn't even look at me when she answers, just shrugs.

"Sure. But isn't your sis a bit too old to have a babysitter?" I shake my head.

"Well, not really, but... when I was her age I was still drawing ducks all over the sitting room walls," I nodded. Santana laughs quietly. I can hardly hear it over all the chatter.

"They act from experience. Your parents always had a soft spot for you. No matter what you did they never really had the heart to make you stop."

"I just wanted a wallpaper with ducks on them!" I said. "And mom said they didn't have any in the store." Santana laughs again.

"I've got Maths. See you at practice then?"

"Okay! Bye! Good luck with the rainbows!" I waved at Santana's as she raised an eyebrow over her shoulder as she went, feeling so happy I couldn't even feel my face.

.

* * *

.

She jumped a tiny bit when my fingers went against her hand.

Daphney was half asleep on her other side, head on her shoulder, and I had bit my lip so hard not to do anything to Santana before this. But now, with her hand right beside mine on the pillow, the temptation was too big. I really hadn't been thinking of things beyond touching her, really. Okay, so I might've had a few flashes of me grabbing her from behind when she was making the pasta sauce, but that had only been to hug her. Or help her stir the pot. Or...

Santana's eyes were fixed upon the screen where Hilary Duff were just inching in to kiss Chad Michael Murray. I respondend to this by using my nails instead. Santana squirmed and pressed pause on the control, moving her hand away.

"I think it's time for bed, Daph. You're drooling on my shoulder." Daphney looked up, eyes half closed, with a whine in respons.

"No! I'm not tired..." she yawned, eyes getting all teary at the edges. "...at all."

Both me and San laughed. "Riiight. Bedtime. Or would you rather like to help us do the dishes?"

"Oh, alright then..." she said, suddenly in a hurry to go to bed. Santana got up as well, taking a hold of our dessert bowls.

"You go make sure she doesn't fall asleep in the stairs and I'll start down here." She went in to the kitchen as if something was chasing her, and I smiled to myself.

"Alright!"

I quickly made sure she brushed her teeth before she dragged herself into bed. While she did it I locked Tubbington into my room. He gave un an offended mew, but I just whispered to him to go to sleep. Mommy was gonna do something and she didn't want to be disturbed.  
Daph gave me a kiss on the cheek, before she immeadiatly fell onto the pillow and started to snore. Bailey got up and lay down at the end of her bed, wagging her tail at me.

"Stay" I giggled, turning off the lights and shutting the door quietly behind me. Sighing, I braced myself for what I wanted to do. Just the thought of Santana being downstairs, alone, made my thighs hum. I pressed my fingers to my lips. It's a piece of chocolate cake to seduce someone, but Santana wasn't exactly one of the boys. I needed to talk to her, but even more than that I needed to kiss her. Right now.

I went down the stairs, trying not to think but to just do. As soon as I saw her looking out the window with her hands in the hot water, I did. Sneaking up behind, wrapping my arms around her. She jumped, swore quietly in spannish and then relaxed into my touch.

"Stop scaring me." Her breath hitched at the end as I kissed-sniffed her hair.

"Sorry, San. I just really wanted to hug you." She took a deep breath, as if to steady herself.

"Look, Brittany, about the other night..." I didn't let go of her, I just leaned my head on her shoulder, remaining my friendly approach. "I was really drunk and took a bit of advantage of you. I guess I was horny as well. Let's just say his results won't go into Guiness." She laughed coldly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her, the need to take care of her slightly overpowering the want to kiss her.

"What's there to talk about? Most guys don't have very long staining power, we both know that." She laughed again, and my grip tightened.

"But girls definatly do." She froze in my arms.

"Excuse me?" I smiled as I pressed a kiss againt her ear.

"Girls definatly do. Have staining power. We both know it's all about hitting the right spot."

"Brittany..." her voice was ragged but definatly a bit teasing. I planted a few kisses on her neck, feeling her wet hands in my hair. Then I turned her around, gripping her by the hips and pushing her against the sink. She ran her hands across my shoulders before staring up at me, eyes dark and smiling. So, so tempting. Warm coke.

I leaned down to kiss her lips, feeling her teasingly respond, leaning into my touch. Kissing, that we had done before. There was nothing strange about it. I knew just where to bite to make her tremlbe.

Santana moaned qietly, her hands on the back of my skirt. Then I pulled away, almost runnning to the sofa,kissing her again before sitting down. San straddled me, and managed to talk to me as I bit her lip.

"You do know we're just friends right?" I hardly heard what she said since her mouth was pressed against mine through half of the question. If this was friends, then fine. As long as I could keep doing it. I just hummed in response, laying on top of her on the sofa, pressing harder against her. Then I leaned back, took a hold of her panties, and pulled them down her legs, slowly. Santana looked at me with expectation and what looked like fear in her eyes. She took a hold of my hand, looking at her lingerie. It was black lace. I looked back at her, grinning. She gave me a flickering smile, that seemed to dissapeared quicker than it appeared.

I threw them on the floor, letting a hand softly go up on the inside of her leg, to her knee, then back again. Then I did it again, only going further up. I repeated this, looking at her, then adding a kiss on top of her trembling kneecap before letting my hand go all the way up. Santana sucked in a sharp breath, closed her eyes and sighed. I leaned closer, taking it all in.

Santana's fear was gone and she urged me closer, seeming to need me to do it as much as I wanted to. It came to me as naturally as holding her pinky had. I just got lost somewhere, feeling her legs around me. It was weird, but it was like we didn't even have time to take the cheerio costumes off. But then, when it was actually, literally happening we both slowed down. Locked eyes, kissed.

She shuddered, moaning, biting her lip hard with closed eyes. I kissed her right below the chin, feeling her pulse against my mouth, before putting my head on her chest. Santana's fingers came to my ponytail, undid it quietly, and started pulling her fingers through my hair. Both of our breathing slowed down, melted into one and I'm not sure how long we lay there. I started pulling my nails up and down her leg, and she didn't seem to mind. For once, I didn't have anything weird to say. For once... everything made perfect sense.

That's when we heard the keys in the door.  
Santana turned to ice, then she almost shoved me off of her. She started putting pillows that had fallen off back into place, tripping over the carpet and slamming her knee into the coffee table. She swore in spannish again, and my mom called from the hall.

"Girls, are you awake?" I hurriedly glanced around the room. That's when I realized Santana's panties were peaking out from under the arm chair. I picked them up, giggling, hiding them behind my back just in time for my parents to come around corner.

"Hiya mom, dad! Did you have a nice time?" I smiled and took Santana by the arm, smiling. I could feel her shaking against me, smiling effortlessly, but shaking none the less.

"Oh, it was lovely darlings. So what have you-? Oh, A cinderella story, is it?" She grinned and winked at us, and Santana laughed.

"Well, Daph chose it." My dad just smiled and said:

"Ooh, I don't think you suffered, having to look at Prince Charming all night." Considering what had just happened on the sofa, I guess he should really be talking about Cinderella... But I kept that thought to myself.

My mom took her scarf off, looking around.

"Wow, and you've even cleaned up after yourselves. Maybe we should start going out more often, apparently it's cleaner after we get home." She put her hand on my dad's arm, and he laughed loudly.

"At least there are no stray birds in the dishwasher, right?" He winked at me. My parents had liked the idea of me taking care of the bird. Dad actually laughed when Principal Figgins told him. I'd overheard him describing all about the fact that the locker had air holes and was high and best of all dark, which would stop the bird from trying to get out and hurt itself. Then he's talked to our principal for half an hour about birds. Apparently the Principal loves them - especially ducks. Just like me!

"Actually, there are still some dishes-" Santana moved to take care of it, but mom stopped her.

"Oh, don't you dare! Leave it and we'll take care of it tomorrow." Then she smiled. "Are you staying?" I looked at her expectantly. She met my eyes and actually, I think, blushed.

"Nah, I better get home. Promised dad breakfast tomorrow." She smiled and I followed her into the hall.

She put on her shoes, not looking at me and without leaning forward. When she stood up, I just looked at her, smiling. My hummingbirds where going crazy, and I leaned in close holding onto her middle, kissing her ear.

"I wish you'd stay." She swallowed, nodded and looked away.

"Next time." I pushed her panties into her hand, laughing quietly, and she smiled too, before shouting:

"Bye you two! See you!"

"Bye sweetie, be safe! You sure you don't want a ride home?"

"No thank you, I'll walk. Bye!"

"Bye!"

One last look at me, a smile that she tried to keep away, and then she was gone, pushing her panties into her backpack. I giggled again, closing the door and leaning on it, letting out an excited breath.

.

* * *

.

"It's all coming down now," Santana says to me and I give her a concerned look.  
"Hoedown Throwdown, like in Hannah Montana." She ignores me as she calls Kurt. She's been ignoring a lot today. I smile at the thought of the other night though, feeling a tingle. I shake my head, trying to concentrate. As soon as Kurt picks up, she's on it.  
"We just heard, who told?"  
"We assumed it was you," Artie says, and I can tell it makes Santana annoyed. I lean in towards her a little, wondering if it was true. No, she wouldn't do that, never. Santana snaps.  
"Why would I do that?"  
"To get back at Puck," Kurt explains, like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Aren't you guys dating?"

I look at Santana for her answer. She told me it didn't matter, she told me they weren't dating. She told me... I feel the urge to make them back away from her, and at the same time back Santana up. My free hand found the hem of my skirt, tugging nervously.

"Sex is not dating." I look away, agreeing.  
"If it were, Santana and I would be dating." The words are out of my mouth before I can even think of stopping them. This happens to me way too often. I have an idea, I speak and then I think. We both stop apbruplty and Santana's head snaps at me, then she quickly looks away, worried someone might be looking, I guess. I look at her, listening to everyone on the line holding their breaths.

Uhm, well, that was not supposed to slip out. I mean, we would be dating but we're not. We're just friends, and... no, no matter how you look at it, we had sex. I feel my heart skip a beat. Shitcakes.

I look down at my feet, almost hearing Santana's brain sorting through options a million miles an hour. Trying to save the situation.

I bet Tina's interested, Mercedes is rolling her eyes, Kurt is hungry for gossip and Artie... well, like any other guy he's probably having a fantasy about me and Santana making out with Tina in front of him... I guess I wouldn't mind making out with Tina, but I'd rather not share San.

"Look, I don't wanna rock the boat." I look away, start moving my feet to keep up with Santana as she's working on ignoring the words that just slipped out of my mouth. I feel the heat on my cheeks, hoping they misunderstood. Worrying about Santana's angry reaction to this. A terrible feeling start bubbling inside of me, reminding me that I might have ruined the chance of ever having actual sweet lady S-E-X with her ever again.

"Since Quinn got pregnant, I'm top dog around here." I nod my head in agreement, keeping quiet. That's why this can never get out.  
Suddenly Mercede's blurts;

"Hold on, Rachel's walking by!" Santana's arm shoots out to stop me, grabbing at my elbow and making my heart miss a beat. I draw in a sharp breath as the devil walks by.  
Mercedes looks so funny when she grins at Rachel.

"Hey, Hot mama!" She spins around, talking quickly to us. "Look, I know I screwed up telling all of you guys about Quinn and Puck. And I feel really terrible about it..." I sigh, looking at Santana. She's not wanted to talk about it, but somehow I'm worried that she's upset about this as well.

"...but we cannot let Rachel figure this out. If she tells Finn, he's going to flip!"

"And then we really have no chance at sectionals!" Kurt finishes. Santana meets my eyes and I just give her my tired look, while I know she's must be worried about so much more than just sectionals. We close our identical phones and cross our arms, like we have rehearsed it.

"I'm sorry," I mumble as everyone starts going off to class. She won't look at me.

"This is about sectionals. Nothing else matters." I nod. "We just... you need to go out with Matt. He likes you. He told me." I swallow hard.

"Are you sure?" Santana looks at me, then she walks away without another word. I look after her, pressing my nails into my palm.

.

* * *

.

"The punk just walked in and sucker punched me!"

"Don't play dumb! You're too friggin dumb to play dumb!"

"Hey!" Mr Schue's voice is angry, and I really don't like it. I have grabbed onto Santana, worried.

"Who told you about this Finn?"

"Obviously it was Rachel!"

"What? I didn't do anything!" Rachel looks like she's peeing her pants. I swallow.

"Yeah, it was Rachel, but I wanna hear it from your. I wanna hear it from both of you!"

"Hey Finn, just calm down!" Finn tears himself away. He looks like his whole body is hurting. If I hadn't been so scared, I would've hugged him.

"Noo! They're both lying to me!"

"Is it true?" Quinn is crying, quietly. "Just tell me, is it true?" She steps forward, sobbing, with Puck's eyes fixed intently on her. No, everyone's eyes.

"Yes," her voice is breaking. "Puck is the father." Shitcakes.

While everyone's piling out, Hannah finds me.  
"Sue want you in her office, ASAP." I nod, look at Santana talking to Matt and Mike, and slip away. It's better if I leave her out of it.

.

* * *

.

"You leaked the set list! You don't wanna be here. You're just Sue Sylvester's little moles!"

I feel frightened and ashamed. Quinn says behind us;

"I know for a fact that's true. Sue asked us to spy for her." I looke at her, slightly betrayed, my hands shaking. Santana steps up, like a knight in shining armour.

"Look, we may still be cheerios, but neither of us... ever gave Sue the setlist." She shrugs. I don't like this, and it's so typically Santana to protect me, and to speak for us both. This is Glee club, I want to be honest with them. I want them to know I have a mouth and a voice and a will of my own. Even though I adore my best friend, I want to come clean about things. Truth.

"Well... I-I did, but I didn't know what she was gonna do without it." I stood up to Sue today, and didn't tell her about the Quinn/Puck/Finn drama. But I leave that out for now.

People sigh and roll their eyes, groaning. I think I'm going to cry. Really. Santana glares at me.

"Okay, look. Believe what you want..." she walks away, leaving me alone or maybe making sure all eyes are on her so that they can't yell at me. Still, her ignorance hurts more.

"...but no one's forcing me to be here." Her voice is full of emotions, emotions you can usually only detect when she's singing. "And if you tell anyone this, I'll deny it..." she pauses, looking away, rolling her eyes ."...but I like being in Glee Club." She shrugs. "It's the best part of my day, okay? I wasn't gonna go and mess it up." She's not looking at me. I'm alone in this.

Everyone's quiet. Somehow it feels like Santana took all the responsibility with her. Like her coming clean somehow made what I did less important. Like they should've expected it. Like I don't have a free will. She sits, spotlight on her, and Rachel of all people, speak up.

"I believe you." Santana gives her one of her rare smiled, and jelousy flares up in me together with the shame.

I go to sit next to Mike, who gives me an awkward smile. Like; "Poor you, stupid girl."

Quinn comes up and touched the sofa behind me. A queen's hand of approval. I now forgive thee. Like she would pat a pet. I feel even more miserable. I wish they wpuld yell at me, in a way. That's when Finn enters the room.

"I have one." he sighs. "I found the sheet music online, I used the cheerios copier to make copies... Then I thrashed the thing." I grab a sheet, looking at Santana, trying to tell her how sorry I am.

"Mike, Matt, Brittany, Santana- You're the best dancers. Figure something out and we'll all follow your lead." San looks down, and I do to, trying to get my head around it.

Finn must think we have a chance. I give him a smile and Matt (who supposedly likes me now) moves a hand to my arm. I already know what he's thinking, and move over to throw the ideas out on the table.

Santana is leaning over the table, ignoring me. I keep looking at her black, shiny hair... People act like I'm dumb. Maybe it's easier to live up to their expectations. Maybe... Maybe I should just not care. Maybe I _am_ dumb. If I listen to what they say, maybe I won't betray them again. Because... I love them. I love them so much I can't describe it. It's like... Titanic. Red hair in the wind, the warmth of someone on your back, flying with you. And dolphins. Yeah, dolphins underneath and the sky all around.

.

* * *

.

She is twirling, a little bit drunk from the after party which turned into an after-the-after party. She, Matt, Mike and Tina are singing too, a bit out of character, together. Me and Mercedes are walking a little behind them. I know they're living on the next street, and I know it will be just me and Santana left. We still haven't spoken about it. We held hands during the announcement, and we hugged but then she just looked at me awkwardly and turned away.

Mercedes is laughing quite loudly at my story of Lord Tubbington reminding me of Kurt the other day - he tried to claw the jumper I got from my grandma for Christmas up with the same expression as Kurt had worn when he's seen it.

My eyes keep drifting to Santana, who is kissing Mike's and Matt's cheeks goodbye, and the boys come over to us. Mike gives Mercedes a double kiss, and she laughs bubblisciously, before grabbing Tina's hand, pulling her down her street. Matt hugs me, picks me up and spin me around. I laugh and gave him three soft kisses on his cheek for the effort.

Mike is skipping over to me and slaps me a high five before putting his arm Matt's shoulder, humming on "somebody to love" while they are going up Matt's driveway. I smile, looking to my side where Santana is studying me.

She holds out her pinky, and without a word we start walking towards her house. It's quite cold, and I pull my hat down even further to keep the heat inside my body. Looking up at the sky, I can see purplish clouds hurrying past the anorectic moon. The naked tree branches almost looks like fingers, reaching up to try and catch the fluffiness and squeeze them tight.

Suddenly I am pulled to a stop.

"Look, I'm not mad at you anymore." I look back at Santana. She is still holding onto my pinky. "Do you understand now why I didn't want you to listen to what she says?"

I take a step closer. "She's a teacher, I have to listen to her." She shakes her head. I let go of her pinky and take another step closer. "And about the other thing?"

"What other thing?" But she refuses to look at me.

"You know what thing. The- the... the dating-sex thing!" A car's approching, and Santana pulls me into the trees.

"Schh! It's not!" I look at the road, and then back at her face, only lit up with the orange light from the road. The shadows clouds her serious face.

"They were in a car, Santana..." I mumble, almost wanting to smile.

"Well, they don't need to know my bussiness." Now I do smile.

"So it is your bussiness?" She rolls her eyes.

"How drunk are you?" I don't answer, I just lean in to give her a kiss. She gets caught up in it for a second or two, before pulling away, hiding her mouth in her scarf.

"Britt, we have to..." she looks at me very seriously, and it scares me.

Then Santana moves and I close my eyes, expecting her to push me hard against a tree... Instead she suprises me by pushing some hair behind my ear, and kisses my nose. She's not smiling, but she is staring into my eyes when I open them. Then she leans in closer, puts her hands on my waist, and whispering into my ear;

"We need to keep this a secret, okay?" She gave me a kiss on the ear. "If we tell the others that we kiss and... just kiss, we can't do it anymore." I feel a sharp twinge of fear shoot through me.

"No more...sweet lady kisses?" Santana laughs loudly and unexpectantly, that melodic rare laugh that I wish I could save in a bottle.

"You like those, don't you?" I nod obediently, letting my arms wrap around her waist too.

"I don't just like them, Santana." She stiffens in my arms, but when I don't say anything and just cuddle into her scarf, she laughs again, quietly this time.

"Well, FYI..." she leans out, kiss my chin before letting her nose touch mine. "I don't just like them too." It's like a warm, sunny cat in my chest, stretching and rubbing it's claws over my ribs and I forget the cold and the scary woods.

It's almost like he's playing some sort of music. Maybe he and the hummingbirds can start a choir. Some day soon, when Santana puts her head to my chest, they'll play her a concert.

.

* * *

**.**

**A/N: Give it to me baby. It' cheesy. But it's... good. Haven't watched the "I kissed a girl" episode, so I'm off to do that now. hee hee. ENJOY!**


	13. HellO Goodbye?

**Chapter 13, Hell-O**

**(Brittany)**

* * *

**.**

"I thought-" I say, trying to catch my breath, "that we could never do it in school because someone might see."

"Well, there's no one here to see, now is there?" Santana says with her mouth on my stomach. I'm sitting on the sink, pushed up against the mirror. Santana's hands are under my skirt, nails on my thighs. Usually I would've worried about getting caught but the way Santana is handling me makes me forget that we're even in school.

"No, that's true..." I say, pulling her head up, kissing her teasingly.

"This is such a bad idea..." Santana mumbles, before almost climbing on top of me when there's a push against the door. She's away from me in a second, and I have almost no time to smooth out my skirt.

When Hannah stumbles into the bathroom, mouth in a disgusted frown I jump down, grab my jacket and twirl to meet her zombie like state.  
Santana has moved away from me, now leaning into the mirror to adjust her lipstick, ignoring our cheerleader friend. She stumbles to the garbage can, and then hurries to push so much soap in her hand it starts dripping from it.

"Hannah, what was that?" She keeps scrubbing her hand under the tap, but looks up at me long enough to say:

"Some loser's ponytail. Effing disgusting, it was!" I put my head on a tilt.

"Why did he give you a pony's tail?" Hannah looks at me again and roll her eyes.

"What are you, five? Coach cut it off and handed it to me." My heart sinks in my chest as Santana put a hand my arm, smiling at Hannah.

"Well, Coach proabably thought it fit your face."

Hannah whips around. I step out of the way, worried.

"Shut your face, Lopez." Santana laughs coldly.

"Whatever, just keep that hand away from me and Brittany." She takes a hold of my pinky and leads me out.

"Poor pony," I mumble as she leads me out of the bathroom.

Santana looks at me and makes a gagging noise as we pass Rachel and Finn, Finn holding up a calendar with cats that looks like their faces have been shaved. I shiver and tug at Santana's skirt.

We stop a few meters away from Quinn's locker, where she and Puck are having a strange conversation.

"I'm _pregnant_!" She's leaning against the wall. If I had been Puck, I would've shut up.

"And that's my fault?" Quinn sigh, looks away from him, before she whips around, hand on stomach, angry as a lion mother on Animal Planet.

"Stop being such a badass, I know you Noah! If you don't stop sleeping around - or well, say you do - I'll spread a rumour that you're deciesed and that this baby is gonna come out a Quasimodo! No one will even wanna have your phone number!" Her cheeks are red, eyes are gleaming but I can see the glossy blue light in them. I look at Santana. Even though her eyes are directed forward I can see the corner of her mouth crinkle slightly upwards.

Puck looks like the little boy who went to the same kinder garden as me and San. The one who use to pee his pants all the time.

"And forget you'll ever get a piece of this again. I know it's what you really want, and believe me, no one else but me will do." She sneers and put her hands on her hips to really make her boobs and now also Blueberry, stick out. I wonder what Blueberry will look like... and I giggle as I think that it'll have the same eyes as Quinn. She or he will be sooo spoiled.

I wave at Quinn but she's too busy ignoring Puck's explanations to notice.

"Let them work it out," Santana tells me, starting to walk away. When we're past them I turn around, only to see Puck's hand on her cheek and another on Blueberry. She smacks the hand on her tummy away, but he only puts it in his pocket and pulls out a chocolate bar as a peace offering. Then finally, I see Quinn's one of a kind smile. In that way they are alike, Santana and Quinn.

And I stop only to stare at Quinn as she gives him a light kiss on the mouth, letting her hand move across his cheek which I imagine is filled with pointy hairs. Then she leans in to hug him. That's when she sees me and Santana and... gives us a taste of that smile. I start blushing terribly, waving happily when Santana takes my waving hand in hers, pulling me away. Looking back Quinn is already munching in on the chocolate bar, letting Puck put an arm around her. It's unusual to see them so close, and still blushing, I turn to Santana. She is facing forward, hurriedly pulling me into the choir room.

"You need to talk to her more."

She lets go of me, walks to the chair up against the wall and sit down, loooking annoyed. I follow, standing behind her, leaning against the wall.

"You miss her."  
"Not really."  
The couple enters the room hand in hand, sitting beside each other. I notice Finn and Rachel already there. Rachel looks... weird as usually. I feel kind of sorry for her fashion wise, but she's got Finn so she's lucky. I look back to San's neck.

"You do, don't you? You're not mad at her anymore, right? You should be mad at him in that case."

"It doesn't work like that Britt. She's not a cheerio anymore." She looks tense.

"Why? Why does that matter? She's still her, with or without Blueberry."

I stare at her, hoping to convince her, but she ignores me.

Mr. Schuester enters quietly and starts drawing a stick figure on the board. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket, tilting my head as I try to figure out what word he's writing on the board.

"You would know."

I lean down, but she keeps looking away from me, now she just looks board. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to that, so I keep quiet. I mean, I do know because I still talk to Quinn. She would know too if she only became friend's with her again.

"Hello." We all stare at Mr. Schue. "Hello. Hello... what do you guys say when you answer the phone?"

"What up?" Mercedes say and I smile. Artie quickly follows;

"Who this be?" I like that. Then Kurt speaks up from the chair where he sits outside the rest of us. I wonder if he's okay. I make it a mission to talk to him when I get the chance.

"No. She's dead. This is her son." Everyone freezes, everyone except Santana who just sigh.

"O-kay..." I find it strange how Will doesn't take notice of Kurt's feelings very often. "Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, liked to say "ahoy, ahoy!" when he answered the phone."

I catch Santana smiling and it makes me feel tired even though I'm quite fascinated. Strangely enough Mr. Schue manages to teach me more history than my history teacher ever has. I always thought the phone was invented from bananas. Where else would the song come from? I kept listening, but hearing the song inside my head.

_Ring, Ring, Ring... Banana phone_

_"_It was Edison who decided that "Hello" was a more appropriate greeting."

We look at each other at the same time, and Santana laughs. I look at my feet, feeling a blush coming on. I don't know if we're supposed to be mad or not.

"We need a new Hello," Mr. Schue says and I think I agree. Santana turns her head away, looking sad. When Mr. Schuester starts talking about us singing songs with Hello in them, I lean down to her ear.

"Ring, ring, ring...Banana Phone!" Santana starts laughing, before she whips around.

"Brittany, right on!" The others look at us and Santana just stares them down. "What? We're brainstorming." She turns to me. "Hello world" by the Saddle Club is a great idea!" I look at her in confusion, but when the group looks away from us again she shakes her head, smiling.

"You whispered, Britt." I smile too, excitedly.

"Really?" She nods as Mr. Schue tells the rest of the class to follow our example.

"Yep."

.

* * *

.

"You two should be wetting yourselves with shame."

My heart was shaking inside of me, making it feel like my whole body would start shivering at any given time. Sue had called us in with a maddening look on her face, and for a second I thought that Hannah had seen us this morning.

But of course it was not about that. In a way, it was worse.

"Glee club won sectionals and you did nothing to stop it." She walks up behind us, and I sneak a peek at Santana, her eyes straight forward.

"If you were samurai..." she pauses to lean in close to me, saying; "and my letter opener were sharp enough-" I look at Santana now, frightened, as Coach steps around me, looking at us with arms crossed over her chest. Santana is obviously not going to say anything.

"-I would ask you both right now to commit Seppukku. In japanese this means ritual belly slitting." I speak up in defence with the best I've got.

"We were seduced by the glitz and glamour of the showbiz." Santana looks at me, finally.

"Let me drop some knowledge at you," Coach says with a voice that tells me she doesn't think I know a thing. "Ever since Quinn Fabray has been knocked up, I've been in the market for a new head cheerleader." I look at Santana again. I know how much she want this. She looks down at the floor, ignoring me.

"If you want the job, and back in my good graces..." I sigh, tired of being her slave but at the same time craving her attention. It means the world to Santana. She was born to rule. Just like Lord Tubbington.  
"You're going to have to turn around, and listen up." We turn around, facing the monster that is Coach Sylvester. When our shoulders accidently touch I feel like Coach could see right through us.

"You're familiar with a little glee clubber named Rachel Berry?" Santana leans closer, her whole arm brushing against me. I ignore it, feeling a blush coming on. We both nod.

.

* * *

.

"Let us give you an introduction into the way that we work. You buy us dinner, and we make out in front of you. It's like the best deal ever." I smile, feeling giggly. We'd discussed it during lunchtime in the girls bathroom. Santana had been all bussiness, but in the end, making out in front of Finn would still be making out.

"Did you see what Rachel was wearing today?" Santana laughs sweetly.

"I know. She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but like... Israeli."

"Her sweaters make her look home schooled," which made Santana laugh pretty hard, I guess, considering I was home schooled for a while. But I'm lucky. My mum doesn't knit, she bakes instead.

"Hey guys, come on. Don't make fun of Rachel... " I look at Finn in disbelief. "She's kind of cool." Santana looks away, biting her straw.

"Finn... that's mean." He really shouldn't be leading her on. He's too nice to her, really. Besides, you shouldn't bite the hands of the girls that's going to make out in front of you... or however that saying goes.

"You know what, actually? Would you mind waiting in the car?" Santana snaps and I smile again. "And leave your credit card."

Finn drops his fork and goes away. He looks sad, like a sad little panda. That reminds me of something I read on the internet that I've been meaning to tell Santana. I read that Pandas are sad. Cats are truly kings. That ducks have 6 lives. And...

"Did you know that dolphins are really just gay sharks?"

She looks at me. I can't help it. Her eyes crawl down my arm, then she looks away, and back again. I nod.

"Yeah."

"Wait, who's a gay shark? Finn?"

"That's totally weird Santana. No." Our food arrives, and she gives the waitress flash of her smile and a sweet thank you. When she walks away, Santana roll her eyes.

"Customers are always right." I smile back. She's the dolphin, really. Beautiful, smart, big eyes... Comes from a warm place and knows a different language.

I'm just a shark... who desperatly wants to be a dolphin. Maybe one day, I could be one. Or like, a duck.

"Are we really going to make out in front of him?" Santana shakes her head, swallows, licks her lips.

"Nah. Just a peck. We don't want to give him any ideas." I feel like giving her one now, but we're in a public place. She's already sitting a little too far away from me on the seat. But no one would question two cheerios at Breadstix together! And spaghetti's really good for the muscles.

"Besides, maybe we should limit it. This is not actually a date, it's work. Getting on top is all that matters, right?" She puts down her fork, waiting for me to answer.

Why the sudden turn? Maybe as soon as she got her eyes on the price. Sleeping with people doesn't matter to Santana, she's said so herself. Sex is not dating. Sex doesn't mean a thing. Loads of times.

Maybe that's it then. I'm confused.

"You are going to help me, aren't you? You are my best friend!" My heart leaps at that, and at the same time I feel a sting in my tummy. Like one of the hummingbirds just died and hit the bottom, pointy beak first.

But I shrug it off. I haven't had a best friend since... well, since the last time we were best friends. I pick a breadstick and put it on her plate, letting my elbow touch hers.

"Just like in top model." She grins, and together we silently chant;

"Wanna be on top?" Then we laugh, and she looks at me a second too long, biting down on her breadstick. Crunchy is apparently sexy, I realize, as my thighs hum happily. I turn away, fanning myself slightly.

"We should make them turn down the airconditioning again." Santana smiles even wider, crunching away with a sly look on her face.

"I'm alright really. But you must be uncomfortable."

"What do you mean?" She nods towards my chest.

"No bra." I look down.

"Yeah, it's getting really hot and sticky in there. These uniforms are not made for girls who go topless."

"Unfortunately," she says quietly, and I laugh again. "Where did you leave your bra?"

"Ehm... On the floor in the backseat." She snickers.

"Wait... In Finn's car?"

"Uhm. Yeah." She looks at me, before bursting out laughing.

"I thought it'd be a nice souvenir." Santana tries to catch her breath.

"Yeah, especially if Rachel finds it!"

.

* * *

.

"I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello!" I sing as me and Santana leave the Glee dressing rooms together. All those months of cheerio practice has made us fast - when we want to be.

"So, what are we doing?" Santana looks at me, smiles a bit then looks away.

"Well, I really need to get home. I'm writing a very nice hate mail to Berry. I'm doing what you told me and channelling my hate towards my mother into something useful... So, hatemails." She grins wickedly. I didn't understand much, but it didn't sound very nice. Oh well, Cheerios we are. Coach Sylvester always encourage us to use our hatred to ur advantage. And to always be sneaky.

"And you don't want some company?" Santana barely looks at me.

"No, best friends can't have sleep overs every night. Besides, I need a good night's sleep to plan how we're going to conquer the school."

"Santana, are we... what about...?" She's still not looking at me, and I'm guessing there's a reason.

"What are you on about, Britt? I don't get it." I take courage.

"Are we just friends now, then?" She stops at the top of the stone stairs, I'm still kind of hiding in the shadows of the entrance.

"What are you on about? We're best friends."

"Yeah, I know, but-" She turns around.

"Were we ever something else? Have I missed something?" Her eyes are wild. I have no idea what they mean. For a second I think I see want, then they turn black and she smiles, a fake one.

"Whatever, Britt. Love you. See you in the morning." She gives me a quick hug and then walks away, like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Like she didn't just shut me out. Like she didn't just brush me off. Given me the ice queen, the one I only ever thought Quinn was capable off. I guess they are more alike than I thought.

As I watch her car pull out of the carpark I feel stings in my tummy - and all over my body for that matter. Lots of beaks.

I turn around, dizzy, flushed cheeks and lash out at the closest thing, which turns out to be a bin. It falls over, spewing litter all over the stairs. The half empty bin rolls away, and I put my hand over my mouth. Then I sigh, sitting down on the top step, looking up into the already dark sky.

"Hi there Brittany." It's Finn and Puck. Finn looks a bit down, and Puck too. It's almost a shock to see them together though. They don't look too happy about it.

"I'm heading home," Finn says, pausing to smile at me. "It was a nice date, for a while there." He must've meant the peck(s). Santana had leaned in, touched my back while kissing my neck, and when I managed to pull away, I had brought a hand to my chest, knowig my nipples had been showing through the fabric.

"Bye."

"Bye," I mouth, see his big figure leaving me and Puck, who sits down beside me.

"He told me and the guys about a pink bra in his car." I smile slightly. "I know Santana mostly wear black ones. That's a nice trick."

"Well, I felt like I had to leave something." Puck grins, and I can almost hear what he's about to say before he even does it. Those pointy hairs I could imagine before, I can see now, up close. They're not too bad.  
I know he's upset about Quinn, worried she's using him. I'm upset about Santana, worried she's using me. We need each other... therapy. Sexarapy. Sexapy? Therasex? Puck interrupt my thoughts.

"Wanna leave another one in my car?" I don't look at him, when I answer.

"I don't think I could afford giving away all my bras..." Puck stands up, looks like that little pee-his-pants boy again.

"Yeah, too bad."

"You'll just have to remind me to bring it back home," I say, looking up at him. His grin and eyebrows says it all. It's way too easy catching boys. I feel like they're the small fish, in the big pond where there's a huge, rare fish that I've been dreaming of catching all my life... But that's life. Like my dad says. There's always plenty of fishes and frogs and leeches in the pond... sea...?

Anyway, he reaches out his hand to me, pulls me up and when he makes a bad joke I laugh at it, as we walk towards his car. And when I start to hum the song, he sings along. It somehow makes it all better for a short while.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: Don't hate me. Brittany would need to have sex with him sometime. And I need reasons to create bridges between them. More than one. One will get way too boring. And isn't this quite realistic?**


	14. The Power of Santana

**Chapter 14, The power of Santana**

**(Santana)**

.

* * *

.

Brittany was acting weird. I mean, weirder than usual. I hope I didn't make her sad about the sleep over. It's not like I didn't want to, it's just... I didn't trust myself to actually sleep in her bed. Besides, like I'd said. I needed the sleep. Still did. 'Cuss had I slept when I was alone in my bed and my house? No, of course not. I'd been torn between missing her and feeling guilty. Until like 3 in the morning. Sue calls out my name.  
"Santana! What does your bracelet say?" I cock my head and put a tiny, proud smile on my face - just the way I know Sue would like me to.

"WWMD." Sue looks pleased.  
"'What Would Madonna Do?' Well, the answer to that is dating a younger man. So let's see some arm candy girls!" It's not like that's gonna be hard.

I look over at Brittany. She's sitting inbetween Hannah and Becky. I know she told Becky something before that made her giggle. I wonder if she's sitting there to hold up our "just friends" routine, or is she's actually mad at me. As always, I feel lonely without her shoulder touching mine.

Her face looks a little sad though. Her gaze suddenly flickers to me, as if she can sense me staring.

"Sorry freshmen. You're gonna have to start dating middle schools. You know why?  
'Cuss if you wanna be as riveting a preformer as Madonna, a skill that will nab us the nationals this year; you're going to have to start thinking like her.

All of Madonna. I will no longer acknowledge that any of you have last names. Becky Jackson. From now on..." Becky looks at her with great expectations. "...you're just Becky." She claps her hands in delight. Brittany bumps her shoulder to hers, laughing. My shoulder feels ridicolously cold. I shake the feeling off and stand up. As always, I am followed my at least two of the cheerios. It makes me feel a bit better. The power of Santana.

Tania and Rose. It's their last year, and I know they don't like the idea of me being next in line to take over the cheerios. But they respect me, so I've never gotten anything bad from them. They're actually quite alright. Not that I ever really hang out with them outside of school.

Tania flips her shining black ponytail as she smiles at me. I've seen her outside of cheerios - short skirts and leather jackets are her type of thing. If I thought of girls that way, I'd say she's a real hottie.

"So, have you got any special in mind, Santana?" She usually calls me Lopez, but when the rules change you've got to adapt pretty quickly. I smile and so does Sue, as she heads past us towards another group of girls.

"I don't know. The younger the better, I guess?" Rose nods. She's got blonde curly hair, just long enough to make a small ponytal. I know Sue would've kicked her off if she'd cut it shorter. She's usually the first one in the dressing room, trying deperatly to make her hair straighter. I heard her complain more than once about wanting to just cut it short. I think it would look good on her.

You wouldn't believe it, since Tania and Rose are pretty much attached to the hip in Cheerio classes, and all of us usually sits with the jocks, but outside of it Rose has started hanging out with one of the punk girls. Tania was complaining to me about it a couple of weeks ago. Telling me we should do an intervention or something.

Her name was Jules-something, and the rumour's said she'd kicked Puck in the balls when he'd grabbed her ass last year. Apparently it had been so hard the doctor's had declared he would never become a father. Guess they were wrong there, judging my Quinn's bulging belly.

But by my standards, she was all right. She wasn't trying to hog my limelight, and her black jeans looked real nice even though they were all ripped up.

"O.M.G!" I stopped myself from frowning at Hannah as she skipped up to us, that face so overly excited I wanted to smack it. I don't know why she got on my nerves, all I knew was that I hated her guts so much I wanted to puke up my own.

"Puckerman was trying so hard to get me in bed before," she gushed. Okay, maybe I do know why I hate her so much. She's a tool.  
Her friend Olivia was giggling behind her with big eyes - eyes with so much mascara she looked like a Bratz doll. Her huge head bobbing up and down didn't exactly help the situation.

"Sorry, Lopez, but it's true." She rolled her eyes.

I gave her a "seriously, do I look like I care about Quinn's man?"- look.

"What. Ever." She regarded me. "So, like, I was totally like: "go away creep, you're not gonna get that thing anywhere near my overies!" and then, guess what?" Only, she didn't even take a breath to let us do any guessing. Tania shot me a look of mild boredom.

"He was saying that I totally should, since he'd screwed Brittany over last night and soon he was going to have gotten into all of the cheerios' skirts! Can you believe that creep?"

My mouth fell open and I stared at her for about four seconds as she looked at Olivia, and they both half shrieked with their hideous laughter. Fortunately, Tania noticed my discomfort.

"Well, that's swell. Now why don't you go find a pony to date to match that laugh of yours." Guess I wasn't the only one who thought her face had a slight resemblance to a horse.

Hannah looked at Tania with disgust.

"Just because you've already done him." Olivia just laughed, as always. I don't think I've ever heard her say something independently. A blonde set of curly hair stepped forward, staring the other two girls down. Rose was about a head shorter than everyone else.

"I don't know Tania, that sounds more like yapping to me. Oh yeah, that's right. Go away bitch." Obviously it had done sweet Rose some good hanging out with a punk girl. Hannah was in such shock that she made a face and shut up.

"Well, don't shoot the messanger! Doesn't make it less true!" Then she was gone, like most of the cheerios... and Britt. Whew.

I regained my sanity.

"I can now officially call you a cheerio," I said to Rose, who smiled at me.

"That was quite the mouthful!" A deep voice with a hint of Australian accent was heard behind us. Rose's smile brightened as she turned around. I saw the blue eyes surrounded thick with eyeliner and the blazing red hair.

She really was a looker. No wonder Puck had felt her up. I guess I just hadn't seen that much of her - let's face it, next to Britt no one shines as bright.

"Gosh, Jules! The hair!" Rose goshed, reaching out to run her fingers through it. Jules smiled very kindly at the touch.

"You don't think it's too much, yeah?" Rose shook her head almost furiously.

"Are you kidding me, it's like; amazing!" I couldn't help but agree. Without saying or showing it, of course. I glanced at Tania, who looked ready to kill.

"Well, we're off to lunch," Jules smiled again. "Wanna come?" Before I could answer, Tania spoke up.

"Me and Santana have got some bussiness to discuss with Coach Sylv" she caught herself, following the new rules."-Sue. Coach Sue. We'll catch up later." Her arms were crossed over her chest. Rose looked a bit hurt.

"Oh, should I stay too?" Tania shook her head.

"Don't worry, we'll be alright. You go eat." Jules nodded towards me and then elbowed Rose.

"Let's go then, Ross." Rose turned around quickly, stomping her foot and fuming in a cute way.

"Don't call me Ross!" Jules just laughed raspily.

"Okay, Ross." They went away, bickering.

"Intervention!" Tania whispered to me angrily. I just rolled my eyes.

"Let's go look at the new school photos of Mckinley middle school. I brought carrot sticks."

.

* * *

.

Brittany laughs at Quinn's picture when she shows it to us.  
Quinn gets this little tiny smile on her lips. She's acting like a lovestruck 7 year old. Teasing Rachel and drawing ridicoulus pictures of her? I roll my eyes when she's not looking.  
Suddenly the devil herself bursts into the choir room. Her voice gets on my nerves, as always.

"Yes you should move to Israel." Britt smiles at me as Rachel goes on about sex. Ugh. That's like getting sex questions from a guinea pig. Quinn gives her an evil look.

"Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby."

"I just want to be ready! I'm getting older and these things are gonna happen! But how do I stop a guy from being mad at me for saying no?" She looks frantic and I'm starting to think she needs a slap to calm down.

"Just do what I do. Never say no." My voice goes a little lower, and I hope no one hears the quiver. I swallow, and luckily, Britt agrees, steals the attention away from me and lets me look at her. It helps.

"Oh, totally. What's the worst that can happen?" Then adds. "Sorry Quinn."

I throw a look in her direction. As I do, I catch a glimpse of the hearts she's added to her drawing, and try not to laugh out loud.

While Tina tells us about Hot Wheels (I didn't know he could be such an ass) Britt takes a hold of my hand and begins to stroke my wrist. It's so out of the blue I don't dare to look at her. But it's soothin - how did she know I needed just that? I relax into her touch, blocking out all of the surrounding noises. Even the guinea pig.

When Mr. Schue gets up from behind the piano, I curse him in my head. Was he really there all along? He seems to melt into the background and with the other teachers. When will everyone understand that he's not a normal teacher - he listens to us inbetween lessons. And he's always sticking his nose into other people's businness.

I pull my hand back in one quick motion, flustered, and tell him off, the best I can.

"You wouldn't understand Mr. Schue, you're a guy."

He looks at me closely at that. Can he see how I feel? Did he see the way Brittany was touching me? Wait, did anyone else see? Did my sentence just somehow confirm that I like Brittany, and not idiot guys? I swallow the panic, looking at Britt. The clock rings, I offer her my pinky, and she takes it.

Friends, I tell my racing heart. Everyone knows that, so I shouldn't worry.

.

* * *

.

It was right after I had grabbed an apple as extra with the Sue Sylvester super cleanser that Britt found me. She was stuffing her face with a Brownie she had most likely brought from home. It was quite funny how she'd grown up with a mom who's gaga for baking and not turned out overweight. I guess when you train every day like she does, and leaves the car at home and all, sugar just can't touch you anymore.

To confirm my suspiscions, she started telling me all about how Silke had made a huge batch of brownies last night filled with m&m's and that the candy had melted, because she should have frozen them overnight before putting it in the batch, and that they had all been forced to bring them to school and work since they were apparently impossible to sell.

She said all the jocks had wolfed them down so unfortunately there hadn't been any left for me.

"None of the cheerios would touch them, of course. But I offered Quinn and she ate three! I guess the baby is really growing. It's gotta love chocolate, because you know Quinn's always been the white chocolate type of person-" And on she went. She was wearing a cute black ribbon in her hair, and more eyeliner than usual. It stung that she looked so pretty.

"And what does Quinn say about you sleeping with her boytoy?" I couldn't stop it.

Brittany stared at me, wide eyed, mouth open. Like she was as shocked to hear it as I'd been. Maybe it was just a rumour? Well, the only way to find out was to confront her about it.

"I-I... She's just using him, she told us both that!" Oh no. I almost closed my eyes as we walked down the fully packed corridor. I wanted to puke, even though I hadn't eaten all day (except for half that apple - which I now threw away).

"You sure found another sleepover fast enough" I said under my breath before continuing. "And that's not a good reason, Britt. He obviously likes her." She looks at me like I'm the one lying.

"It's not like that. I just didn't want to sleep alone." That stung. "It wasn't the first time we've hooked up. Besides, I needed Therasex. That's a good enough reason."

It's my turn to stare. But she misunderstands, as usual.

"You know, we made out that first week I was here... In truth or dare. Remember?"

Of course I remembered. Nothing about her slipped my mind. But what the heck did she mean about Therasex? Was that some new kind of kinky stuff she was trying out with Puck and not me? Jealousy tried pushing it's way out, but I sucked in my tummy and smiled pleasently.

"I remember Britt, don't worry."

"It's not like you still like him, is it?" She looked at me almost shyly, like she was ashamed - and at the same time like she was hoping just that. It made my head hurt.

"I never did. In a way he's mine whenever I want him, but, you know. I don't _own_ him."

We arrived at our lockers and I opened mine only to stare at my own reflection. Like the evil queen I guess I needed the help of a mirror to assure me of my looks to compose myself.

Concealing my emotions was the one thing I had going for me. And I needed to see that I didn't show any signs of weakness.

I put a ticktack into my mouth and chewed, while Britt was putting on some finishing touhes on her new "Madonna-style". She'd always been a sucker for expressing herself through clothes. I loved it.

I put on some lipgloss and looked into my own eyes. Not a trace of sadness. Perfect.

"I look smoking hot."

"Guess who I'm dating?" I can't look at her, so I stare into my locker. I don't wanna know.

"Wez Broody. He's super cute. He plays soccer with my sister. He's 7."

I make a weird face. Her sister's 11, how can this guy be 7? Oh well, I'm happy that was all. Okay then, I don't have to worry about Puck at least. Then it's time to get down for bussiness. I slam my locker.

"Crap! I need a younger, inferior man! If I don't find one, Coach Sylvester will kick me off the cheerios for sure."

"How about Finn? His birthday is like 3 days before yours and... he's super dumb." I felt like calling her darling, and telling her that it didn't exactly make him younger, but just sigh. She looks to the side like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I almost smile.

"We already tried with Finn and he hates us."

"Trust me. The way to get a man to follow you forever? Take his virginity." I stare at her, she leans closer, smiling coyly.

My heart skips a beat as my brain frantically tries to figure out how she can look and sound so innocent while talking dirty.

"Madonna like, wrote a song about it!" I throw her a glance, then looking over at Finn. I fluff my hair up, putting on my sassiness and swing my hips, kind of hoping to snare him as well as hoping that Britt is looking after me as I go.

"Hey Finnosence!" I. Am. Madonna.

"You know, I've been thinking, and I think we should go out. Just you and me this time. No third wheel." (Him that is. Oh, I wish I could take Britt on a date...)

Finn gets it though. Not as dumb as I hoped for.

"Will you talk to me this time?"

I decide the quickest way to get him to agree is to put his eyes on the price.

"I don't really talk during."

...He doesn't get it. I need him to be my puppy already. Usually just a hint towards sex makes guys pants drop. I'm not a patient woman, and I need Britt to be jealous. Sexually frustrated - that's me alright - I slam his locker shut as well.

"Look Finn. It's high time you lost the big V. Everything about you screams virgin." I put on my pitying look. Come on, Finn.

"You're as sexy as a cabbage patch kid. It's exhausting to look at you." Okay, I might be a bit too harsh now. But I can't stop it. Brittany having sex with Puck SO isn't okay. I have to snap at someone, and Finn is convenient enough.

"Okay look, I appreciate the offer but I have feelings for someone else and I'm trying to work things out with them." Grrrrr.

"What? Who? Rachel? She's dating that Jessie kid from Vocal Adrenaline."

"No she's not."

"Pleeaase! You can smell it on her! She's like a cat in heat." (Like me!) "She talked about him yesterday and practically sprayed the choirroom." Then I took a breath, softened.

"So come on." I take a few steps towards him. It's almost cute the way he backs away from me. I feel the power, alright.

"Let's do the deed. It'll be great for my immage and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It's win, win." Finn is almost smiling. Now he gets it.

"Wait, what do I get out of it?" And people call Brittany dumb.

"I don't know, you... get to have sex and make Rachel jealous?" Boys. Where are their sense of drama and revenge? All the fun things in the playground?

I guess while us girls started calculating and charming, they were still busy playing with their willies.

"I meant for me," I sigh. "Okay, It's win, win, for me." (At least I get to make someone jealous.)

.

* * *

.

Is it so terribly wrong that every time I climbed on top of him, I wished for a smaller body?

That when his big hands grabbed my hips I just longed for her small ones?

Heck, he had no idea what to do. But that wasn't the only reason. Brittany was ruining my sex life. It's not like I was cheating or anything - but it felt like it. And well, he just couldn't do it for me.

Afterwards we just sat in the cheap motel room, hands clasped in front of us. He was so quiet that I wanted to kick him. Food. I wasn't allowed Britt or food, but food I could compromise with.

"Do you think they have room service in this place, 'cuss I want a burger?" I started going through the drawer, but all that was in there was an adult novel. Not even descent enough for an old fashion porn magazine?

"I thought I'd feel different afterwards." My throat felt sore all of a sudden.

"Yeah, but I've noticed it takes about 20 or so times before the feelings of accomplishment really kicks in." Then I sigh, the pain in my stomach growing. Looking straight ahead of me, I say:

"There's no menue, so you're going to have to take me to a burger joint." I want to eat something unhealthy, so I'll have to excersise it off/puke it up later.

I look over at Finn, suddenly understanding him. He want someone he can never really seem to have.

"How do you feel?"

"I don't feel anything, because it didn't mean anything." Harsh. But yeah. We were for once both on the same page.

.

* * *

.

When Finn dropped me off at my house the light in the kitchen was on and my dad's car was in the driveway.

I didn't really bother to give him a kiss goodbye - he was obviously still in his "I feel nothing"-mood. Get over it already. Been there, done that. Moved on.  
I just smiled at him a little and then hurried off, not bothering to take my shoes off.

If my Nana had been here, she would've scolded me. But the good thing about dad... well, he didn't care. We have a cleaning lady - Wranda - who comes twice a week. Cruella love coming up with nasty jobs for her. She likes me though, since I actually talk to her and clean up my room.

Dad hardly looks up when I storm in. After a whole day (often more) of work, he's all slouching shoulders, black eyebrows and stubble. He was still wearing his doctor's coat.

"Hola hija."

"Hola papá." He was eating a ceasar sallad. That's my dad; the picture of health he says. But that's not true, because he drinks a beer to every meal except breakfast. Then it's coffee.

But I've tasted his coffee. He might be a fullblooded mexicano but he drinks his coffee like an irishman.

It's not like he drinks too much, not really. Just after a work - and before, early in the morning.

Dad's Lima Heights' best doctor. He's respected. Lots of my classmates have been treated by him. All of their time put together is probably more than I've spent with him these last three years. He's a busy man - and he never forgets to remind me of it when we do see each other.

"How was work today, papá?" He chews on his chicken and takes a swig of beer.

"Busy as usual. I'm requested out of state tomorrow. Consulting Dr. Riley about a heart condition."

He dries his mouth off on a napkin and finally look at me. My nana always tells me I have his eyes.

No questions about how I was, where I'd been or even if I needed money for something.

I nodded, clenching the to go bag with my hamburger inside it. Showing it to him would cause a small scene. He emptied his can.

"Alright, I'm off to bed then. I'm leaving late, so see you in the morning, hija." He left the rest of his meal out in the open and kissed me on the forhead, his breath stinking of alcohol, before leaving the kitchen.

Cruella was probably home. She never missed double episodes of Jersey Shore.

I took a deep breath, then I cleared my dad's things away.

Grabbing some napkins and a glass of water I hurried off to my side of the house, to my room, worried he would come back to see me stuffing myself.

.

* * *

.

I was really satisfied when Tina told me that my private lesson in bitching had worked. She was stammering away about it - I thought she'd stopped that. It had been over a week, but I guess despite that she now could mouth off to her boyfriend, I still intimidated her a bit.

"S-seriously t-thank you, Santana!" She moved to hug me, and I akwardly patted her back.

"Umm, sure. Anything to shut him up." She grinned at me, and skitted away. Apparently he had started treating her better as well, I noticed, as she met up with him, and he held her lunch tray in his lap. It was almost cute.

Brittany smiled at them too beside me, then she said in a worried voice:

"I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary." Right then Mercedes come up to us. I still couldn't believe she and Kurt were on the team. And me and Britt still hadn't spent any time outside of school. It made me jumpy, irritated and nervous.

"Hey guys, can I ask you something?" I don't like the sound of this... "How do you manage to stay so skinny?" I pick the bottle up, and do it, just like we've practiced if the reporter were to ask us about our methods to stay in form.

"The Sue Sylvester Master clense!" Britt smiles as I say the ingredients.

"Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand." Not that again. I've already told her not to, but she says it makes it easier to keep down. Mercedes obviously agrees.

"That can't be healthy." Like I said, annoyed is what I am.

"Who cares? You could either feel terrible and look great, or get kicked off the team when that reporter gets here." Mercedes looks frightened, almost. I can't really blame her. She's about three times my weight, and I just know she's not gonna make it.

She leaves her plate, and well, that's what she's gotta do. I almost feel bad for her, but then I feel a hunger coming on, and I take one look at Britt before we both drink some more.

"I'm serious about Lord Tubbington, you know.  
Daphne told me the other day when I got into my room and she was on her way to bring it out from my hiding place. He's been sniffing and searching for it, and Daphne was gonna hide it somewhere safer..." She gives me a worried look. I roll my eyes.

"Whatever, Britt."

.

* * *

.

It's funny how things affect you.

My dad would rather have me going on the master clense than being overweight. When I was little, and had chubby cheeks, he used to pinch them and tell me that if I didn't stop eating so many of Silke's cookies I'd die from a heart attack before I turned 23.

Since my mom left I've in a way always wanted to please him - even though I don't see him that much. But it's not only him I'm trying to please. People are just nicer to you when you look thin, fit and hot. They respect you in a whole new way. Look at Rachel. She's thin, but neither fit nor hot. And she's totally annoying. Mercedes may be cute, and stylish. But she's not thin - she eats cheese with everything and wants to fry her carrots.

But let's face it. People become jelous too. They think I can eat anything without gaining a pound. Well, truth be told, staying in shape is a lot of work. I go out to run every day, have cheerio practice and keep to a strict diet - except on dates. Guys like a girl who can eat. And let me tell you, the food is usually the best part of the date.

After Mercedes stood up to Sue during our big pep rally, Quinn accompanied by most of the cheerios, also stood up to her and the principal. Sue just simply chucked bottles at their heads and shouted a lot. But in the end, it was decided that no one should ever use the cleanser again.

We were still told not to eat too much, count our calories and run an extra mile a day. She didn't want our dynamic being ruined because someone in the pyramid gained a few pounds. But truth be told, she agreed some pasta would probably give us the muscles we needed to throw each other around in the air like jugglig red and white tomatoes.

I wasn't one of the people who stood up to Sue. Me, Britt, Tania and a few others stood behind her, shaking our heads. We were promoted, of course.

None of that really got to me. I mean, I knew Sue was wrong. I'm not an idiot.

But at the same time, I know what reputation means. And like I said. People like to look up to, read about and see people that are thin. Not to be a bitch, but I don't see Snooki on the front page of any ELLE.

I agreed that Mercedes would be doing the wrong thing by loosing weight. She was kind of perfect the way she was, and let's face it, a skinny Mercedes would totally freak me out. That's like Artie walking, Rachel not being annoying and Kurt not being so, well, gay. In two words: Just wrong.

But what really did get to me, despite all of those things, was the song Kurt was singing for us in Glee club the other day. He is totally crushing on Finn, but that doesn't really matter.

"A room is not a house, a house is not a home..."

And that's when I realized for real how totally alone I was without Brittany. I looked in her direction, and noticed she was already looking at me, smiling. She was my safety. And not having that for a week made me really, really... lonely. I'd gotten used to having her again, and it just wasn't fair.

After the song I went up to her. She was talking to Kurt, complementing him on his vocals. I smiled at him, and touched Britt's arm.

"Can I talk to you?" She blinked a few times, then nodding.

"Yeah, sure." Then I just did what felt right. I gave her a big hug.

"Please can I have a sleep over with you tonight? At your place?" I whispered into her neck, before leaning back.

She grinned at me. "Of course! My mom's making a new batch of those brownies and she'll be so glad to see you! Oh, and Lord Tubbington has totally missed you. Maybe he'll listen to you if you tell him to stop reading my diary? I mean, you did after all get him at the kitten hospital, right? So-" And she was off, rambling, linking our pinkies together.

The warmth of her finger was all I needed. I was home.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: Not to cheesy at the end I hope. whew. Long chapter.  
Lot's about issues with food as well, I kind fo wanted to wrap that up. Don't think the issues have stopped. I'm just saying I might not mention them as much.**

**Remember that I don't share Santana's thoughts about this. I am myself a bit overweight, my favourite food is chocolate and mashed potatoes. Haha. But I think, for the sake and reality that is needed for this fanfic, I need to make her as harsh and bitchy as Santana would be. Tell me what you think! **


	15. Glist

**Chapter 15 - Glist **

**(Brittany)**

**.**

**A/N: Funny fact about this chapter: I was listening to "Mr Know it all" by Kelly Clarkson (who I'm going to in London this october!) and it encouraged and inspired me to write this storyline... **

* * *

**.**

I wake up by someone licking my armpit - like most mornings.

I giggle and take a hold of Bailey's collar and pull her into a hug.

"Morning Bails." She opens her mouth and grins at me, tounge hanging out like a long, slippery slope. "Already time, is it?" Bailey whines a little, before smiling again, motioning for me to get out of bed.

I groan, stretch and Lord Tubbington starts purring as he wakes up. He gets up from beside my pillow and paws over to where my heads just been. Then just like that, he lies down and falls asleep, all in under 30 seconds.

I purse my lips.

"Enjoy your beauty sleep, your highness." Then I hurry up to get changed into my jogging clothes before grabbing Bailey's things and we're out in the wonderful light of morning - at 6 o'cklock.

.

* * *

.

I'd had quite the cold - I was feeling loads better though.

I digged out them out of my bag and stared. 9 yellow and red pills left. Shrugging, I poured some youghurt in a bowl and had a spoonfull - topped with a pill. As I finished up the youghurt, mum came in, all smiles.

"Did you remember to take your antibiotics?" She asked, humming away.

"Yeah." She threw another glance at me.

"You still look a bit down though. You really shouldn't be running already." I shrugged again.

"I'll be fine. Thank you though, mum." I went to give her a kiss before I picked up my bag and my toast. "Bye mum, love you."

"Love you more!" She called over her shoulder as I patted Bailey goodbye, stuck my finger into my sisters ribs and ran out the door with my her squeal and dad's laughter echoing in the background.

.

* * *

.

"I'll see you later," Santana leaves me with touch on my shoulder. She seems to be in a hurry. I wake up from my daze enough to touch my shoulder. I'm deep in thought about the Glist, and besides, I feel kind of wierd.

"Number four..." I mumble and try to get up too, but then I just lean back in my chair again.

She gives me a weird, slightly annoyed look, then she rolls her eyes and walks away.

I wonder if she made it. Why would she put me at number 4? Doesn't she like me? Weren't we best friends? My head kept spinning. It all just came back to me. I'd been failing history and spannish. And now I didn't even have my hotness going for me?

And well, one of the biggest issues, the one that was too obvious on the list... I was kind of hot, but no one, not even Santana it seemed... took me seriously for one second.

I thought about the pills.

My doctor had said they were supposed to take away infections. Maybe that was what was wrong with me. I mean, I did feel really bad again. Like something was eating me up from the inside. Santana always made it worse, too. She... It just all became too confusing.

I needed to get better, quickly. And numb myself down. I remembered the pills Puck had offered a couple of weeks ago, that had made us feel out of it for a while. Like it made it all better.

"That's what pills are for," he'd happily told me when I'd asked him.

That's what pills are for. THAT'S what pills are for. I was alone in the choir room now. Mr. Schuester looked at me as he left the room.

"Are you staying for a bit, Brittany?" he asked kindly. I nodded.

"Yeah, I need to talk to the piano." I say it like I want to sing. He nods with a slightly weird look, like he understands, and leaves.

I take out the pills from my bag and my water bottle. I look at them.

And that time we took those sunny pills. I felt sooo good. Just like the colour of these. Sunset red and sunny yellow.

I pushed them out and ate them all. Then I leaned back and closed my eyes. And hoped it would all be better soon.

.

* * *

.

"Fellow Glee clubbers. We've called this meeting because our free falling reps have reached terminal velocity. We are def con 1."

Their voices are starting to come to me, but it sounds like I've got earphones on.

"We're 0. They didn't even bother putting us on the Glist." Better not to be on the list than be number 4! That's the number nobody remembers! I'm the nobody. At least they are "the ones that didn't make the glist". I'm in the middle numbers, so nobody remembers.

I stop listening to them, which since this morning seems to have gotten much easier. I wonder if I shouldn't have taken all of those pills at the same time. Marissa did almost die after taking too many, I remember now. Weirdly enough my body doesn't react like it should. I don't get scared.

Artie raises his hand.

"Umm, Excuse me, why is she here?" Everyone suddenly turns to look at me. I realize that it's Artie, Kurt, Tina and Mercedes. Strangely enough I didn't really notice until now.

"I've been here since first period," I say, realizing it's probably not been that long. But then again, what's the time? When did I get here?

"I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time. And now..." I try moving my legs again, and my toes wiggle. It feels like they've been asleep. "I can't remember how to leave. But I also don't know why I only made 4th on the Glist. I made out with like, everyone in this school. Girls, boys, Mr. Kidney the janitor..." (Okay, that was a lie. I made out with his son who was helping out that one week) "I need to do something to get into the top 3."

Kurt speaks up, looking at me with huge eyes. But still he ignores what I just said.

"Fine, you're in!"

"In what? We don't even have a plan!" I notice Artie looks over at me again while Kurt explains.

"What is the worst thing a student can do at this school?"

"Eat in the cafeteria?" Tina says, and both her and Mercedes crack up.

"No. Be a disruption in the library."

Everyone looks at each other in stonishment. Yeah!

"Wait, will you remind me how to move...?" I ask hesitantly. Kurt's hand goes to his mouth.

"OMG. Did you seriously take those pills?" I nod, at least I remember how to do that.

Tina and him come up to me, looking a bit worried.

"I thought you were just joking," Tina says akwardly. Artie wheels up to us, sliding his glasses up his nose.

"I think we should get her to the nurse. Or maybe Miss Pillsbury..."

"Not her. She doesn't like me since that bird thing," I say, sadly. Kurt shakes his head and takes a hold of my arm. Once he helps me up, I have no problems moving.

"I feel much better." Kurt looks at me. Mercedes speaks up:

"I just googled it on my phone. It looks like... no, I don't want to buy Overdose of Antibiotics on Ebay!" This recieves a snicker from me and Tina.

"It looks like it's not too dangerous. Do you remember how many you took?" I shrug.

"8 something, I think."

"Okay. Are your heart beating fast?" I try breathing in deeply.

"Dunno."

"It says here she could get asphy-ashix-tates... I don't get it." Artie grabs her phone and reads the word out.

"It can lead to asphyxiation. That means she can stop breathing." Everyone looks at me. I don't know what to say except;

"Oh." Kurt pulls me hard.

"Okay, nurse. NOW."

.

* * *

.

Sue was standing tall, grinning back at us as the music video finished off.

She's pulled down a big sheet in the gym, and shown us a video of her, another apparently famous lady, and a bunch of naked men.

It was kind of hot -and well, the song was stuck in my head. I looked over at Santana at the very front of the line. She was smiling and nodding.

Then she looked back at me, looked a bit taken aback by me staring, then she smiled slightly. With her eyes. I looked away, her look making me feel... I don't know. It was a weird, strong, fluttering feeling. Like all the hummingbirds had turned into a hurricane.

When most of the girls had left, and I waved goodbye to Becky who had her mom waiting for her by the parking lot, I turned back to Hannah and Santana glaring at each other.

I almost laughed out loud at them - Santana looked ready to kill. Hannah had the exact same bra as Santana, but green instead of Santana's red one (which she of course looked sooo hot in).

"Get out of here, before I cut you!" Santana hissed and Hannah pulled her shirt on, shooting Santana a cold glare, before she hurried out.

Santana looked at me, got a mean look in her eye, and said:

"I'll be right back," and then she went after her. I shrugged.

I was alone. I sat down and put my shoes on. That's when I heard a loud sniffing.

At first I thought it might be Santana, or more likely Hannah, but I had found Santana crying in here before. I stood up, looking around. But she hadn't come back. The shower was going. I walked over and saw Rose standing there, head down, arms crossed over her naked chest.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. Rose looked up, smiled brightly.

"Yup. Just got some water in my nose." I nodded, and then suddenly she made the same noise. It sounded like Lord Tubbington when he was choking on a furrball.

"Rose, are you...?" She still smiled, but she shook her head violently. She turned off the water, then wrapped a towel around her, not looking at me.

"Silly me," she mumbled. Then she suddenly sat down on the floor and started crying violently. I didn't know what to do. She'd been smiling just a minute ago!

"Umm..." I sat down next to her on the wet floor. My panties were most likely getting soaked. Floors were usually not the reason. I giggled in my head.

"She said she doesn't want to..." her high pitched voice errupted with small sniffs and moans. "be with me... anymore!" I really had no idea what to do, with Santana it was mostly just to be kind. So I tried that. I wrapped an arm around her. She froze, but then choked on a hairball again, and pressed closer to me. Her towel fell off, and I stroke her hair a little, like my mom always does when I'm sad.

Thats when Santana came in. She stared at me, mouth open. I didn't know why, but later she told me for a second it had looked like we were making out.

Then Rose's crying reached her, and her shocked expression turned into one of dismay. Santana didn't like mixing bussiness with friendship. She didn't hang out with the other Cheerios - me and Quinn were the only exceptions - and getting involved was too much of a bother. That's what she always said.

She was gone in a flash. My heart sank a little. I really wouldn't have thought she would've left me. Oh well...

"Here you go." She came back with another towel, and wrapped it around Rose's shaking body. We each took an arm and pulled her up. She was still crying, but at least more quiet now that before. And she walked by herself. Wrapped up in two towels, she sat down on one of the wooden benches and sniffed.

"Now tell us what happened." Santana demanded, quite harshly. But she handed Rose a bottle of water and an energy bar, so she was really being nice in her own way. It was probably the thought of someone, anyone, making Rose cry that was the reason of Santana's harshness. Maybe. Rose was the one person who was always smiling. Even that one time when Sue made her do a really hard move over and over again even though her ancle was twisted, because she's the smallest on the team and because of that the lightest flier.

Rose drank some water, then put some of her hair away from her face. It was dripping all over.

"It's Tania." Santana relaxed and gave up a little hum in recognition. I still had no idea what was going on.

"She can be quite harsh sometimes." Santana looked a little guilty - she knew she was the harshest one of all. Tania was like a kitten next to a panther in Santana's company.

Rose didn't seem to think much about it though. She brought the side of one of the towels to her nose and closed her eyes.

"Not to me, usually..." Rose looked up at us. "She said she didn't want to be friends anymore. She said it's because of Jules... that she can't take being jealous all the time..." She sniffed quite loudly.

Santana sighed, looking very bothered.

"Well, she's probably a bit annoyed by suddenly having to share you." Santana shrugged - like she knew the feeling.

"She can't be that possessive! She's got other friends, and I never complain."

I didn't really know what to say, but in a way it made sense to just speak my mind.

"Maybe she doesn't want to be your friend." They both looked up at me.

"That's what she said!" Rose said, her voice breaking. I decided to make it clearer than that.

"No, what I mean is... She wants to be something more than friends. And she doesn't know how to say it because you're spending all that time with that totally hot lesbian rockgirl."

Rose's mouth fell open in shock.

"Jules is not gay!" Santana interfered;

"Have you asked? 'Cuss I'm pretty sure she is." Rose looked at both of us in turns, tiny drops flicking on my nose as she turned her head over and over.

"No! She would've told me- I mean-I-Uh-...!"

"Look, maybe she doesn't want to tell you. Maybe she's scared it'll freak you out or something." Santana said and Rose leaned back.

"Wait- what were you saying about Tania wanting to be more than friends? What does that mean?" Her eyes had grown really big, like on Pancakes.

"That she likes you. Have you ever kissed?" Rose suddenly sat up straight, looking at me while blushing furiously.

"No! No, no, no, no! Why would we? I mean-" I shrugged again.

"It's no big deal. Me and Santana have." She suddenly turned her head towards Santana, who sent me an angry glare. Ops. Right, that was secret. But Rose would probably never tell.

I took her hand in mine.

"It's nice. But you should ask her." I looked at Santana for something more, but she just lifted an eyebrow. I guess I was doing alright.

"B-but I can't just ask her if she LIKES me, likes me!" I bite my lip and look away. That one was tricky.

"Then just kiss her." She seems to have stopped breathing. Santana stands up and takes my hand off of Rose's - I realize she's still only wearing her bra on her upper body. Hmmm.

"Look, Rose. Just call her to talk. Go somewhere you both feel comfortable, preferably where nobody else is around. And just talk." Rose nods.

"What if she says no?"

"Throw rocks at her window!" I suggest, beaming. Santana looks at me again, like she's seeing me for the first time. Then she smiles a little.

"Yeah, why not?" I stare back at her, and she quickly looks away and steps over to pull her shirt on. "Now are you going to be okay?" Rose looks at both of us and nod.

"Mhmm, I think so." San comes back to me and links our pinkies together. I feel a sudden urge to kiss her. But it's not safe. We haven't done that in a while. And it can't just happen... I... Last time I was too scared, and she's not made a move since I slept with Puck... It was so complicated my brain was starting to spin out of control again.

She pulls me along and just as we're about to leave Rose's voice stops us.

"You two make a very cute couple." We both freeze up, and Santana immeadiatly starts denying it.

"It's not like that! We've kissed for fun. I mean, in like, you know- you were there!"

I nod my head.

"The other times were just in front of Finn." She stops and looks at me again. Yes Santana, sometimes I can lie well.

"Oh, I see." Rose shruggs, but smiles like she knows something we don't. "It's almost a shame though." Santana puts on her bitch face, but I can see her cheeks are burning.

"We're just friends, Rose. Unlike you and Tania. And oh, yeah, Jules." She snapps, but Rose doesn't seem to be bothered. She just waves at us, already texting away.

I have to take long steps to keep up with Santana's small, fast ones. She's fuming.

"Can you believe that? She's all upset and then she goes and put her nose into other people's bussiness!"

"She was just trying to be nice," I point out.

"Whatever. I hate getting involved." When we're outside she looks up at the rainclouds that has suddenly appeared.

"I missed you today though. We hardly ever see each other on thursdays. It sucks."

I shrug.

"You didn't miss much. I went to the nurse." She spins around on the spot.

"Why? Wat happened? Are you ill?" I shake my head.

"I took 8 antibiotic pills at the same time." Santana raises an eyebrow.

"Trying to get high without me, are we?" But underneath that she's looks worried.

"No, I just forgot them and then I wasn't feeling all that well... Then I realized what happened with Marissa that time in Tittuana." Santana laugh slightly.

"It's Tijuana." She lets go of my pinky and touches my cheek before pulling away.

"I'm glad they didn't have to pump your stomach. Don't ever do that again!"

"I didn't know it was dangerous. I just thought it would all be over quicker." Santana shakes her head.

"If your doctor tells you to only take 2 a day he means it! No more!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it meant I couldn't take the others if I missed. I thought maybe I had to take them in the right order and..." I shake my head. "I didn't want it to hurt so much."

That's when she does something that changes everything. She snakes her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly.

"Thank god you're okay," she mumbles into my hair. My heart is racing, my legs are shaking, my cheeks are blushing and... I smile.

"Me too." I can feel her breathing getting a little heavier as I hug her back. She laughs quietly, before letting me go and taking my pinky again. All I can think is, well...

I guess even a panther can purr.

.

* * *

**A/N: too fluffy? I hope not. Dunno, it feels like they need something like Rose and Tania to come with their own feelings. What do you think?**

**And yes, I seem to be on a angst roll. But Britt needs an edge - nobody takes her seriously! And that really bothers me! First I wrote it like she just wanted to get rid of them, but then I rewrote it like this. Better?**

**And does the Glee kids seriosuly not care! What about Tina? If anybody, she feels like a girl who should care!**


	16. Kissing Gays

**Chapter 16**

**Kissing gays**

**(Santana)**

* * *

Puck's mohawk.

Well, his ex-mohawk. And his ex rep. He looks like a hedgehog run over by a lawnmover. Nothing to point at the people around him. Useless. All his edge, all his pointy spikes have gone. And all the animals he's stung before are ready to attack.

We all turn around.

I was baffled. Brittany even leaned in close to me (sending shivers up my back) and whispered:

"Who is that guy?" I stare at him in dibelief. Then I turn to Britt. She's smiling now. Usually it would be hilarious, but I'm too shocked to laugh. I give her small smile.

"What just happened?" I ask.

.

* * *

.

"My mum found a mole on my head when she was washing my hair this friday."

"Your mum still washes your hair?" He's kind of good looking - with the mohawk. But now I just can't see why I ever liked it. I'm not at all attracted to him. He was the Puckasaurus, that was the very reason I went after him. But ugh.

"She started crying about sunblock and how she's always telling me to wear a hat when I'm cleaning pools. So she made me go see , the dermatologist. He said he had to shave my head to get a closer look. It was nothing! They maimed me over a frikking freckle!"

He looks away, then back at me. I'm just not into it. At all. I start to wonder if I ever really was. Ugh. But he IS fun to play with, though.

It's nice that he wants to confide in me, but puh-lease. I'm so over that. No spikes, no spice.

"I feel like that guy that lost all his hair and lost all his strength." I scrunch up my face. I thought he only slept through history.

"Samson?"

"Pegase." Ooookay. "This morning people actually had the balls to look me in the eye! I mean, it's just a mohawk, right? I'm still Puckasaurus." I speak up, tired of listening. Or well, pretending to listen while thinking of how over it I am.

And how fun it is to see him squirm.

"Actually, I don't know if it's the missing mohawk or the whining, but I am totally not turned on by you right now." Then I smile a little, enjoying the moment, and leave.

.

* * *

.

"I'm just saying, he shouldn't be all upset with me. I NEVER get to sing, so what does he care if I stop? He's never even let me sing solo, so he has no idea how much I can bring it."

Brittany looks at me thoughtfully. Once again I am struck by her cuteness. Oh, help me.

"I'm very dissapointed in you guys!" I mimmick Mr. Schuester's voice. "Please! I'm dissapointed in him. Heck, he gets more time in the spotlight than I do!"

"You should ask for a meeting in the auditorium and sing for all of us."

I shake my head, feeling my cheeks heat. I can't exactly admit that the thought of me singing makes me a bit nervous.

"What? And take up our prescious rehersal time? No way, he'd rather have us all commit zeppukku than let us have a go at it."

"They're a good band," she nods, and I wonder if she thinks I'm talking about mass suicide or like, Led Zeppelin. I let it go though. "But Rachel gets her way all the time."

"Belive me, I know. But at least we're supposed to all sing a song this week. I have no idea. Maybe this time we won't change everything at last minute." I growl, already knowing exactly which song to sing. I've been secretely practicing it until Cruella came over to my side of the house and asked me to kill the cat I was torturing in there. I wanted to smack her so hard she fell out of her Jimmy Choos, but I ignored it and told her to go throw up a little, so she could feel better about herself.

I knew I was good, otherwise she wouldn't bother to come over and critisize me.

I also knew I had something that was different han Rachel. And no, I wasn't thinking of the fact that I actually had a soul.

"Let's go home," Brittany said, offering her pinky to me. I shake my head. The school is empty, except a few teachers, I guess. I smile knowingly at her.

"I'm gonna hang around for a bit." She looks at me. Then nods.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?" I smile.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." I watch her walk away, then I turn around and starts to sing-whisper the lyrics I so desperatly want to throw at the other gleeclub members.

.

_"There are worse things I could do,_

_Than go with a boy or two._

_Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy,_

_And no good,_

_I suppose it could be true,_

_But there are worse things I could do."_

_._

I can see the faces of them now. Judging me, or worse, feeling sorry for me. It's my choice, I don't have to do it. Like the song says, there are so much worse things I could do.  
Like hurt Britt for example. Or be like Rachel and Quinn - be a tease. Playing around is one thing, but to never actually let the guys have their way - that's what's really horrible. That's what will cause them not to get it up when they actually do have a chance. Immasculating.

.

_"I could flirt with all the guys,_

_Smile at them and bat my eyes._

_Press against them when we dance,_

_Make them think they stand a chance,_

_Then refuse to see it through._

_That's a thing I'd never do."_

_._

My voice is much louder now. No one's around, and I start to let go. Who'd known singing in the school corridors could be so rewarding? I round the corner, reach the auditorium.

.

_"I could stay home every night,_

_Wait around for Mr. Right._

_Take cold showers every day,_

_And throw my life away,_

_On a dream that won't come true."_

_._

At that I think of Britt. She still believes in fairytales. While my favourite always was Beauty and the Beast (which seriously is what I wish life and love could be like, but the love just proves that it's a pure fairytale) hers always used to be Lady and the Tramp. She always thought happy endings would be like that - ending with puppies every time.

I am up on the stage now, realizing I'm feeling the familiar sting of tears coming on. One hand on my stomach, supporting.

.

_"I could hurt someone like me,_

_Out of spite or jealousy._

_I dont steal and I dont lie,_

_But I can feel and I can cry."_

My voice almost breaks.

_"A fact I'll bet you never knew._

_But to cry in front of you,_

_That's the worse thing I could do."_

_._

Damn, I would make them all bawl like little babies.

For a second I think I see someone in the corner of my eye. A door closes. I shrug. Fuck them, whoever they were. I take a deep breath, blink the tears away.

.

* * *

.

When Kurt starts singing my brain ges empty. WTF?

I sneak a peek at Brittany, hoping to share some laughter with her, but she is not even looking my way. She's staring right at him. I knew they were kind of friends. Well, not really, but they talked.

When he gets the sting from Mr. Schue, she gets up and skips (yeah skips!) after him. I freeze. I know that skipping. Fuck.

I try not to look as they talk to each other, I try to start a conversation with Quinn, but it's impossible. When she finally walks away I catch him checking her out. I get so angry I want to go all Lima Heights on his skinny little gay ass.

What's he doing, going straight all of a sudden? Is this opposite day in freak land or what?

I'm boiling by the time she reaches me, staring him down. He suddenly seems to notice, licks his teeth like he's got a big piece of tobacco in there, and shrugs his shoulder. Then he sees me still staring. I am in full fighting mode, hands on my hips, feet just about ready to take a giant leap and pounce. He suddenly looks like he's wet his pants and quickly looks around. When he looks back at me I stick my chin out. Oh yeah, I am looking at you, little sheep.

He leaves, but I don't break out of my fighting stance.

Not until Britt comes up to me and smiles, like she's not aware of my violent posture.

"Soo, I'm finally gonna get my perfect score," she chimes. I relax enough to not look like I'm ready to kill, but I'm still tense.

"Britt. He's so gay that if you look it up in a dictionary his picture will be there." She shakes her head.

"He's not anymore." I can't believe the words that's coming out of her mouth. She can be awkward, but this is just...

"Britt, he has three different lotions for his hands. He's more feminine than Quinn is with all her baby hormones." She just shrugs.

"He takes good care of himself, that's why he's so soft. Girls like that."

"Kurt's so gay that the girls actually don't mind having him in the locker rooms after practice!"

"Santana, maybe he's just being smart. If I were a guy I would pretend to be gay too, if it meant I got to see all the girls in the cheerios naked."

I'm so upset with her I can't find any words. How come she's being so stubborn? She obviously knows he's gay, she's just trying to get a perfect score. She's aways been so respectful when it comes to him, she knows he wouldn't want to kiss her, and still!

"This is riddicolous! Do it then, and then tell me how it feels to kiss someone who takes a pause to put on some more lipgloss!"

She finally snaps. Brittany never snaps.

"Well, at least someone will be kissing me!" I stop thinking. Ouch. We haven't kissed in... weeks. But that couldn't possible be what she's talking about. No, of course not. I mean, we're not... I realize I'm acting like a jealous ex.

"I..." Uh oh, I always know what to say. "Great!" I say, then I storm out.

.

* * *

.

Oh yeah, Brittany. It's on.

If you go after Kurt, let's play that card. If I can't have you, I'm stealing Puck. That'll keep me busy. And it gives me a sing off.

I'm smiling as me and Mercedes start to get closer and closer. Oh, she's pissed off for real. I'm enjoying every minute of it. Bring it on, Wheezy.

I walk away, swinging my ponytail, smiling smuggly, but she grabs me and spins me around. _Oh no, she didn't!_

I push her hands down.

_"He belongs to me, _

_the boy is mine!"_

Mr. Schuester is there to try to play peacemaker. Wake Mercedes up from her rage. But I'm a sneaky bitch, and he does not know how to handle that.

"Wow! That was intense! I gotta give you guys props for the passion." He looks to me. "Maybe hold back on the animalsity a little bit, alright."

"Yeah, I know, I understand." The most classic move in the book.

He seems to accept my agreeable answer and moves away and I pounce, showing her hard.

"Seriously, this ends now!"

"Alright," I say, giving her the stare. Like I just don't give a damn. I could take her on any day. Puck's only using her anyway, and hello! I'm the hottest piece in this school. He should be paying attention to me and not her anyway.

Afterwards it all feels so much better. I can breathe out. Now, there's nothing better to treat any kind of frustration with than a sing off, a cat fight or sex. Hmm.

.

* * *

.

Tania comes up to me after school, with what looks like a half eaten chocolate bar in her hand. I don't mention the rules since she's looking like a nervous wreck. She's wearing her leather jacket on top of her uniform, but now it has lost all it's coolness and looks like her fit boyfriend lent it to her because she was cold.

"Talked to Rose yet?" I asked, bored. She looks at me as if I'd asked her to kill someone.

"What do you mean?" I smile at her.

"Oh, so she did talk to you."

"What would you know about it?" She snaps. That makes me laugh.

"Rose talked to us about your fight. Whatever, it's not like I actually care." I'm about to leave, loving to watch her squirm, but she starts talking.

"She said something about... you and Brittany." I turn around, take three fast step and get all up in her grill.

"If you don't shut up right now I'll make you regret to have ever paid for that nose."

"It's my real nose," Tania bites back.

"Well, when I'm done with you, it won't be for long." She steps back, hands in front of her.

"Chill out! I wasn't gonna tell anyone." I calm down, cross my arms over my chest.

"I don't want boys thinking I'd do it for any other reason than to tease them," I hiss at her.

She nods, looking very worried again, biting the skin on the inside of her thumb. I notice that it is red and looks raw already.

"It would be so wrong to want to do it because you like kissing a girl more than the fit boys, right? Totally." She nods to herself. I take a hold of her arm and pull her in to the closest classroom. It's empty except for a lonely skeleton who's missing an arm and has a coke can stuffed in his ribcage.

"Look," I start. "Whatever." Tania looks up at me, mouth wide open.

"I'm sorry?" I shake my head, looking at the blackboard.

"Whatever. I won't tell anyone. I can't get anything out of it, except for Sue kicking you off for giving us a bad rep. She might even like it, actually, considering she's said a few times she hates sneaky gays." Tania laughs for a second, before stopping herself.

"It's not like I actually liked it...!" I look back at her, smiling knowingly.

"If it's somone that close to you, it's so much more than just liking it."

That shuts her up alright. Then, just when I'm about to leave, she speaks up:

"I know. Like it's just been hanging around forever, waiting to break out and infect you. Is it like that with you and Brittany?" I nod.

"I never said anything about Brittany. We're just friends. Unlike you and Rose." Then I wink at her, leaving her alone in the classroom.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: Dunno what to make out of Tania. She needs to be a less fierce Santana. **

**What do you think about Santana's song? Every single time I see Grease this is all I can think about ;P**


	17. Theatricality (the show must go on)

**A/N: Wayyy to long, I know. Sorry! Just started studying to become a teacher ;P lots of homework and stuff. Will keep writing, just be patient with me!**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**Theatricality**

**(Brittany)**

**.**

"OH SWEET JESUS!"

"Oh my!"

Mr Schuester looks at everyone like we've just announced that the school is made out of gingerbread. I wish.

"Wait, what?" Kurt speaks up to clear up his confusion.

"They're doing Gaga!" Mercedes whines;

"Oh, I'll say! It's over!"

"Exactly!" Rachel agrees. It's all such confusion - all I know is that Lady Gaga is the queen of it all. Everyone knows it. And we haven't paid our respects to her yet. Her little monsters might come and gobble us all up.

"We should have guessed it!" Kurt said. "They're going full out theatricality!" Here I tune out, starting to pick with my earring, turning it around inside its hole. We all know this has to end up with us worshipping her, like it should be.

I could care less about how we get there. How I will get anywhere with Santana though, that's what's really bothering me. She can be so sweet, but sometimes I just loose it with her. She drives me crazy sometimes. Don't ask me why I blurted out that part about kissing Kurt. It's not like I cared that much.

I know he's gay. But better he'd make the discovery with me, than with some other clingy or bitchy cheerleader. Besides, it gave me the perfect score - I'd mentioned it to him before. Well, everyone in school knew about it, but still.

I didn't dare tease him about his ridiculous, manly behavior. He was like an alien wearing someone else's skin.

"LADY GAGA IS A WOMAN!" Kurt blurts out and I am back to listening.

I sigh.

"She's only the greatest pop-act to come along in decades! She's boundary crushing! The most theatrical performer of our generation! And she changes her look fast than Brittany changes sexual partners!"

"That's true."

And there we are. The resolution to it all is that we're doing Gaga.

I put my headphones in as everyone start to leave and find "Bad Romance" on my phone. I wonder if the glee clubbers would agree that it's one of the best. And well, let's face it; it reminds me of me and Santana. A little bit. A lot. I don't really care what happens, I just... wanna be with her.

Ugh. I sigh deeply again, filling my head up with a dance routine based on all that is Gaga. I slide my feet across the floor in one fluid motion, shake my skirt absentmindedly, humming along.

_"I want your love-"_

Just then someone takes a hold of my arm and accidently pulls out my earpieces. I twist to catch them and am met by Santana's fumbling fingers.

Her dark skin, the almost invisible scar across her thumb and index finger, her nails that today have a dark red color. Unusual, since she doesn't really wear nail polish. Oh, how music can have such perfect timing in real life situations.

I look up into her eyes. She smiles at me a little, and it's hard to smile back because for me in this moment, she kind of makes it hard to breathe.

"Sorry about that." She's her normal, self-confident, non-apologizing self. Well, non-apologizing about the important stuff. I nod, turn away a little. I don't know how to act about it, even though I can already feel my walls caving in.

"Soo, what are you listening to?" I shrug my shoulders and hold out an earpiece to her. She meets my gaze with something I mistake for longing, which disappears the second she accepts it and her fingers brush against mine.

She takes a few seconds to listen, and then her smile is there again, lazily spreading across her lips.

"I love this song. We've got to do it." She leans in closer, because well, the chord is not that long. I catch her cinnamony smell and look into her warm coke eyes.

"I was hoping you'd say that. I was gonna talk to the others about it."

"Britt, it's the perfect song. Seriously." And well, just like that, she's off the hook. She doesn't really have to apologize. My heart flutters like hummingbird wings, and I smile right back at her.

She hooks her pinky to mine and we walk with the song still in our ears, echoing in the air between us.

_"You know that I want you,_

_and you know that I need you..."_

.

* * *

.

I glance over at Santana where she's sitting, quietly cursing in Spanish as she stings herself on the needle. And I can't stop the smile that is creeping up on me.

This is one of the funniest things ever.

We've got every empty surface covered with old clothes, party hats, shoes, stamps, stickers, sweetie wrappers, you name it. I dive back into the bag I am rummaging through at the moment, and pick out a huge, silvery, sparkly lobster. I stare at it with wide eyes.

"Perfect...!" Santana's laugh breaks the spell.

"BrittBritt, that's the weirdest thing I've seen." A tiny sting, almost as if she stung me with the needle. Then she goes: "How will you wear it?" That's when I realize: **Weird** is **good**. We are going Gaga, after all.

"Hmmm… On my head!" I press it to my forehead, and she laugh again.

"Maybe put them on some glasses or somethin'?" I look down into the bag.

"Ooooh, there are some blue ones. Except they've got Happy Birthday on top of them." Santana leans over.

"Don't worry, we can just cut that off." I let it slide down, letting the claws form holes for me to look through – like through glasses.

"That's awesome! Let's just use the claws and cut away that happy birthday!"

I smile at her, intoxicated by her genialness.

Then she turns quiet. Studying me. I feel my tummy fluttering with hummingbirds.

"Look…" she finally says. "Kurt's gay. You okay?" I smile lazily.

"I know. And that totally rhymed." She smiles back.

"It did. Totally cool." Then she turns serious. "Seriously though." I nod, still smiling, looking into her eyes.

"I know. I wanted the perfect score. And well… better he makes the mistake with me than with someone else." I hold up my fingers. "Perfect score," then point at myself; "perfect whore." She looks taken aback. Then she smiles.

"That totally rhymed as well."

"I know, right?"

We spend the next half hour drawing with my rainbow crayons how we'd like to look. Santana helps me a bit – I suck at drawing. She says she's just as bad but at least she draws more human like than my stick figures. When the superglue has dried on the glasses and lobster, we use paint brushes to cover the whole thing in glue, before sticking glitter on it. I feel very lucky that Santana came up with the idea of doing it outside… otherwise my whole floor would be covered in it. I wouldn't mind, really. But Lord Tubbington would. And my mom.

"Oh girls, you better get upstairs and scrub it off. It's dinner in half an hour. Chop, chop!"

As you say, speak of the dingo. The moment she's finished she sticks her head inside of the kitchen window again. Santana smiles, shaking her head.

"Let's hurry, so that we can try it all on!" I clap my hands together happily. Bailey barks as I do, and I give her a pat as we run upstairs, dog as always at my heels.

In the bathroom, I throw my t-shirt over my head, putting hot water and soap on a towel and start to rub hard on my neck. Santana looks in another direction, and I point at another towel.

"That's mine over there, you can use that." I can see her nodding in the corner of my eye. When she runs the water, I catch her staring at me in the mirror. I smile, and her cheeks defiantly turn a deeper shade. I wonder…?

Then I wink. She looks down, fumbles with the soap that flies away across the floor. Bailey is there in a second, and out the door goes the dog with the soap bar in her mouth.

"Crap! That crazy dog!" Santana shouts, as we both start running after her.

"Bailey, stop!" I call, as we all tumble down the stairs. She gallops into the living room, stumbles over a pillow as Santana uses her cheerio skills to leap over the armchair, blocking Bailey's way. My dear dog leans down, sticking her butt up in the air, tail wagging like crazy. She thinks we're playing. I can't believe she has that soap in her mouth. When I was younger I had a thing about soap. But no matter how nice it smelled, it never did taste very good.

Santana's eyes grow thinner, then my mom calls from the kitchen why we're making such a racket, and Bailey turns around, makes a snake-like turn and runs under the table, aiming for the kitchen.

Santana and I run into each other. I catch her by the waist; she puts up her hands to her chest, which is pressed against mine. She looks down and we freeze for a moment, before she shakes her head and stumbles away.

"Oops!" We both run out into the kitchen, me only to crash into Santana as she stops abruptly.

Bailey is on the floor, on her back, while my mom picks up the soap from the floor, the other hand on her hip. She raises an eyebrow at us.

"Now, Bailey and Brittany, what have I told you two about playing with the soap!" Santana looks back over her shoulder at me, and suddenly she bursts out laughing. I soon follow, Bailey barking and rolling around on the floor, and my mom is left to look at us in disbelief, shaking her head.

"You girls are absolutely out of your minds", she smiles and looks at Bailey. "All three of you."

.

* * *

.

My dad has made his famous hot chocolate "with a small spoon of Whiskey in for the sleepy effect", he whispered to me and Santana. "Don't tell Daphne. Or Silke!" We giggled happily, as Santana shook her head in disbelief.

"I started drinking earlier than I thought was possible then!" My dad started laughing very hard at that, nearly dropping too much cinnamon in the pot. Mom, who had been whipping the cream, turned to us with wondering eyes.

Before she could even ask the question though, daddy had said:

"She's a firecracker, this girl. Hold on to her even tighter this time." Then he winked at us, and I took Santana's pinky in mine, dragging her to the cupboard to get cups.

"I will, daddy!" I reached up and handed Santana two cups, and she absentmindedly whispered to herself:

"Sometimes I wonder if he knows…" I smiled innocently.

"Know what?" When she looked up, I giggled, pulled her arm as I twirled away, almost crashing into Daphne with the marshmallows.

"Watch it! You're like Lyra!" Santana raised an eyebrow.

"Lyra who?"

"Lyra Heartstrings," Daphne explains.

"Hey, and you said it wasn't you who'd been borrowing those DVDs!"

"Well, I didn't. Not really. It was already in the DVD player!"

"What are we talking about?" Santana asks, even more confused. Daddy laughs.

"My little pony," I say.

"My little pony? Seriously?"

"Yeah. But if I'm Lyra, you're, you're… Spike!" Daphne shrugs her shoulders.

"Definatly. And Santana is your BonBon!" I blush.

"Okay, you guys… I'm so not getting involved." Santana holds the cups out in front of her like protection, before going up to dad to get them filled up to the brim with hot chocolate.

"Oh, basically I'm a turquoise unicorn, and you're a normal pony with candies on your butt."

"Sounds lovely, dears, but please don't talk about butts at the dinner table," my mom says, scooping up whipped cream on top of the hot chocolate.

"It is!" Daph and I say at the same time. Santana just rolls her eyes, and my dad laughs as he takes the bowl from my mom and puts it on the floor for Bailey to finish.

With my family, Santana's always got this comfortable smile plastered on her face. She's in the chair that's hers, and everyone sits down around the table.

Mum brings a plate full of mini cupcakes with different colored icing, and tells us to dig in. As we eat and drink and smile, mum and dad start telling us about the memories they had of us as children. I guess the My Little Pony part reminded them.

"I remember that time when Daphne decided that Bailey was a hoarse!" My mom laughed. "You two girls went along with her crazy idea, and kept Bailey tied up outside all day. Bailey does let you do a lot of things to her, but riding her is not one of them!"

My dad's laugh echoed in the kitchen. It was deep and strong, and always made me think of Santa Clause, for some reason. Lord Tubbington leaped up into my lap, standing up to lick the cream off of my hot chocolate. I was too lazy to stop him, and nobody else protested.

"She buckled just like a hoarse though! And you flew straight into a bush, do you girls remember?" Daph looked embarrassed, and Santana thrilled.

"She hit her head pretty hard from what I can remember," she said. My mom nodded.

"She sure did. We had to go and get stitches for her, didn't we, love?" Dad nods.

"Speaking of stitches… remember that time we woke up early in the morning from Brittany jumping on us?" Silke smiles.

"Oh, you mean the time Santana climbed that tree outside of Britt's window, fell down and broke her arm?" I grinned at Santana at the memory.

"And it hurt so much!" Santana agreed. "That branch always used to hold me!"

"Well, you were getting older and heavier!" Daph giggled. Santana nodded.

"I'll say! My mom was furious! She blamed all of the sweet things you were feeding me," she said, talking to my mom who's smile hardened a little.

"Oh dear. It was only doing you girls good. Why stop children from enjoying food before they start thinking too much about it? The branch was rotten straight through, and that was that."

It was such a nice feeling. Just having Santana here, enjoying my family. I didn't get a lot of time to do that, and it was… really nice. That's the best word for it. Lord Tubbington's purring was like a tiny lawn mower against my thighs as I patted him. Bailey had her head in my dad's lap. Santana held her cup as if her fingers were cold.

She leaned back in her chair, joking around, her ponytail a little bit of a mess… a drop of hot chocolate on her shirt. Her dark eyes turning to me for a second to smile, before continuing to listen. I leaned over to her and put my head on her shoulder.

My mom titled her head and smiled.

"I think it's time for bed, everyone."

.

* * *

.

I woke up, moved around in my bed, and curled into myself.

Nothing's happened in so long.

We were just laying there, me by her feet. Our legs entangled, my fingers on top of her knee that was draped across my stomach. Her fingernails are now tracing patterns along my legs, making me shiver and a big lump forms in my throat.

Her fingers are in my hair, slowly swirling it. She puts it across my face and we giggle quietly.

I want to reach out, but all I dare to do is to lightly pat her hand.

I can't go further. None of us do. I look up, into her eyes, and I don't know WHY I can't I just know I CAN'T.

Our friendship is fragile and strong, and the tension between us is like a tightly stretched rubber band, just waiting to snap back into place - or snap off.

I look away, closing my eyes and sighing as her nails traces down across my throat. I swallow.

"Breakfast is a really good idea," I mumble. She stops, humming an agreement. We're so close to something that I can't handle it. Tears burn in my eyes out of sorrow and happiness and most of all frustration as she gets off the bed to get dressed. I bite the back of my hand lightly, pretending to be stretching, then I shake my head and get up right after, heart slamming violently against my ribs as if trying to escape it's ebony cage.

"I'm sexy and I know it," starts shouting from her phone somewhere in her bag. She runs to it, swearing under her breath as she rummages through it. I turn around to put on a bra and some is looking for a shirt when she finally answers.

"Hello?" I wait as I look. Hmm, what shirt? Maybe the blue, stripy one from H&M…? Santana is still quiet. Then she breathes in very quickly, her next word is shaking with something I've never heard before and can't begin to try and explain.

"Mom?"

.

* * *

.

A/N: Just exciting enough for… season 2! I'll drop the funk episode, and the finale. Not much to write about really. Except the "clinging to each other when they win the trophy part", which is totally HOT but not… relevant. And I don't know how to get into the whole Sue issue in that episode either… hope that's okay!  
I don't know if any of you guys get the **My little Pony** reference! Basically, it's from the "My little pony show", well, the new one. I did, like everyone else, love MLP when I was younger. So the idea of comparing them to a MLP "couple" was just perfect. I kinda wanted to make Brittany into Rainbow Dash because of the name, but then I realized Santana is nowhere near like Fluttershy – the pony people like best with RD. Sooo, I swapped to BonBon and Lyra – full name apparently Lyra Heartstrings. Best friends. Are in the beginning mostly in the background. Always together… remind you of any other couple? ;P Lyra is crazy, energetic and… a unicorn! Future Brittany reference, teeheee! XD

Okay… I'm 21, but HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE PONIES? Have a look at them, and you'll know what I mean. CUUUTE!

art/Lyra-and-BonBon-267187683?q=boost%3Apopular%20bonbon%20lyra&qo=3

art/Bon-Bon-and-Lyra-Hearts-and-Hooves-Day-318322710?q=gallery%3Amlp-lyraxbonbon%2F31725050&qo=23


	18. First, Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

.

It had all been such a mess.

Santana lost her direction and self control after that phone call.

Brittany went down with her. Depression is contagious, and confused people easily get even more confused just because of it. Luckily, darkness was quickly replaced by light. Teenage depression often is like that – rollercoaster like.

Mr. Schuester could get a hold of it in time, lead them onto the right path again.

It was something very special to see Quinn standing proud and strong, singing a song for the sake of the baby in her stomach. The girls suddenly realized.

More than one life – for the first time you could see the mother in that young girl.

So could Puck, and it was obvious that it really scared him.

After winning the Cheerleading Championships life started again, but life as it would be for a normal school week. Even if everyone was preparing for Nationals.

And to see Brittany at the front of the group was one of the proudest moments in Santana's life. And for Santana to sing "_Don't stop believing"_ with everyone, it brought back all of those feelings the very first time she'd heard them sing it in the auditorium that day. It sounded even better this time – because now she was one of them.

It was before Britt and her, before she found the words and the true meaning in the song.

"Don't stop, believing!  
Hold onto that feeling!"

Brittany didn't know what to feel. She let the music eat her up, let the high tone of Santana's voice finally being heard fill her like hot tea fills a cup. It all came together as one big feeling, bursting out of her. Being on that scene, singing that song and doing it with all the people who meant something to her – in front of the people she loved – just made her feel like she belonged. In a way she'd never belonged before, outside of her family. Cheerleading suddenly felt fake compared to this. Real danger was not risking getting her neck broken when she was being tossed upside down in the air. Real danger – real risk taking – was this. Baring their whole selves to this audience with a song that connected them all together.

Mr Schuester didn't think it mattered whether they won or lost. Because just working together – 12 such different young people – was achievement enough.

"One day, all of you are gonna be gone. And all of this, all of us, will be nothing but a hazy memory.  
It will take you a second to remember everyones name. Someone will have to remind you of the songs we sung. The solos you got or – didn't get.  
Life only really has one beginning and one end. And the rest is just a whole lot of middle.  
And I love you guys too much to let you not make the most of it."

It didn't matter really, what kind of relationship they had right at this moment. What really mattered was that they did have one. It was all they needed. At least, up until now.

But this… was only the beginning.

.

* * *

**END OF SEASON ONE**


	19. 19 Take Two: Brittany VS Britney

**Forsaking all the rest (season 2)**  
By HeartofSummer  
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance  
Copyright: ...Let's just say they were mine. I would make sure I brainwashed Naya and Heya to become their characters and marry me. Seriously.  
Which is proof enough: I don't own them. A Blaine lover does. *sigh*

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Santana**

"I don't wanna do Britney." Everyone stops mid-celebration, looking at her. That sweet face, those blue almond eyes that belongs to my best friend… The best friend who has over the last few weeks once again proved that she is the best friend anyone could ever have.

She has brought me Silke's homemade cupcakes, the ones with Chocolate middle and Nutella frosting, participated in a marathon of cheerleading films, including all of the Bring it on's and But I'm a cheerleader, which got us both to share looks and giggle until our cheeks felt sore and we had to do face masks. When she didn't come over I stayed at her place for days on end. The summer had been all about her taking care of me, and me being a mixture of confused, snappy and a bundle of mother issues. Every waking moment, and well almost every sleeping, we were next to each other. It had been like all those years ago, when we were nine. And just as platonic.

But that week she went away to Germany, I couldn't dodge her anymore… Not Cruella, the real evil witch. I'm talking fully fledged crazy-bat evil. She was the female Dracula. My biological mom.  
She did offer (after all that constant trying to reach me, and even my dad growing fed up with me playing hard to get and just to go ahead and talk to her) to give me anything I wanted. So I told her to let me have the one thing that my dad would never let me and no one else in school had… A boob job.  
My dad got furious with my mom. Yeah, he blamed it all on her. Me? I was already kind of starting to regret it, but…

Britt told me she liked me just the way I was – even after I'd done it. Truth is she'd noticed at once without me saying anything. She's started looking really shy, refusing to look at them and whispering to me "how did they get there?" like they could hear her and get angry. When I'd asked her (probably a little too flirtatious) if she wanted to touch them she'd grown bright red and shaken her head furiously. It's been hilarious, catching her staring at them now and then. But well, now she'd gotten used to them.

"Why no Britney Brittany?" Kurt asked slightly frowning.  
"Because my name is also Britney Spears." Every single person in the room turned their heads to look at her. I'd heard this before, when we were younger. She'd been obsessed with it, probably because all of our friends loved Britney Spears. Heck, we did as well. She never told anyone else, but she could be really sad, telling me that Brittany Spears had stolen her chance to become famous. This was the first time I heard her say it out loud to other people. Somehow, I felt a little proud.  
"Wha-What?" Will choked on his words. Mercedes, the typical girl to run to call anyone on their shit, went:  
"What the hell's she talking about?"

"My middle name is Susan; my last name is Pierce. That makes me… Brittany. S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce. I've lived my entire in Britney Spears' shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."

Mr. Schue looks incredibly satisfied.  
"Well, there you have it guys. It's been decided, no Britney. Sorry."

Kurt bitches up with one of his snarky, gay comments. Usually I would scratch his eyes out, but instead I mildly give him a telling off.

"Leave Brittany alone." Then I look at her, putting a hand on her back and sucking my upper lip.

"Thank you for understanding." She half whispers to me, looking away. "It's been a hard road."

.

* * *

.

"Can I just say that you're the hottest dentist I've ever seen?"

"Yeah, I get that all the time."

"No like seriously, you can totally drill me whenever-"  
"Santana!" Miss Pillsbury breaks me off, slapping her hands together. Like I'm a disobedient dog chewing on her favorite pair of frilly blouses. "Okay, let's stay focused."

He continues talking, and just to annoy Emma some more I give him my sexy eyes look, hearing Brittany whisper behind me.  
"Hooot..." I turn back to meet her gaze. She smiles and winks at me. I nod as a reply, letting my eyes go up and down her legs before turning back to the hot dentist guy. Yummy.

We all chew our capsules, Miss Pillsbury cheering us on. Wow, she really is the guidance counselor.

"I think I'd might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror." I laugh at Artie.

"Well there you go, Bluetooth."

"I don't brush my teeth."

I look at Brittany. Wow. Rachel is way worse, but Britt is a close second. Okay, Britt love, that's a total lie. You do. Every night. I know your parents. And not to be like that, but when we used to kiss she always tasted really sweet and fresh. I think about that and smile a little to myself. And I don't think she suddenly stopped…?

"I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist." She does drink a lot of Dr. Peppers though. Way too much. And uses A LOT of tic-tac's. Like tons. But she brushes her teeth every morning... when I'm around. I smile a little at her. This must be one of her jokes, it would be hilarious if I was sure.

"I got this thing." Dr. McHottie goes up to Britt, to take a better look. "Some deep bleaching, scaling… You'll be as good as new. Alright, open up." She closes her eyes and opens her mouth.

The hottie laughs and tells her to close it. Britt looks at him, and obviously can't help but smile again. I don't blame her one bit. Mr. Schuester looks like he's in shock and tells us to all get to class. I laugh and turn around as Britt comes up to me.

Kurt walks by, shaking his head at Britt.

"Brittany, you should know better. Black teeth does not look good on stage." He tromps off, that diva. Brittany just snickers.

"What?" I ask her, raised eyebrow.

"Got a tic tac? I'm out again. I was in such a rush for school this morning I forgot to brush my teeth." I start grabbing for the packet in my bag, shaking my head.

"So all that was a joke? You do brush them." Brittany hold out her hand and I shake out two in her hand.

"Duh. You should know, we've been spending so much time together over the summer. I know everyone else are supposed to think I was in the sewers, but I only said that to protect them from finding out about your… infestation problem." Infestation. That's what we had decided to call my mom. I smile. And here I thought that was a weird joke. My heart swelled at the thought of her insane logic.

"Umm, but why did you make everyone think you were not taking care of your mouth? I've been macking on that," I say, looking away from her while putting tic-tacs back in my bag. "and I wouldn't have if your breath reeked, no matter how cute you look." She snickered again, sneakily, grabbing my pinky with hers.

"Well, I hadn't done it this morning and… You know I only do it like once a day. I eat a lot of tic tacs and other sweet things, and drink a lot of Dr. Peppers, so it's kind of the truth. Mum stuffs me with sweets, and I always dose off when she lectures me and Daph about brushing and flossing. It's not like my teeth will go whiter!" She shakes her head at the very idea of that. I stand there, slightly baffled.  
"Besides, I thought I might as well make the best of the situation. If I made it sound like I was a really urgent case, he would defiantly take me in first and I can seduce him before anyone else in Glee club does." She smiles at me as I stare at her, dumbfounded. "It's not rocket science, Santana. You taught me this." Then she pulls me with her pinky out of the classroom, and even though she just said she was going to try and sleep with that totally hot dentist my heart skips a beat and I feel like I've never liked her more. I like her despite her apparently half rotten teeth.

.

* * *

.

"So, Santana I'm looking at your charts and your… X-rays." Dr. McHottie, or as Brittany likes to call him; the real Dr. Pepper, turns to me in my comfy dentist chair. "Your teeth are perfect." I study my nails, not surprised the least.

"That's riiight."

"Well, I can't just put you under." I cross my arms and give him my frown-bitch look. "Anesthesia isn't something to joke about, it's serious."

"Okay listen. My dad's a doctor. And not a tooth doctor…" I make quotations with my fingers. "A real one. He like, went to collage or something."

At this McHottie turns to Britt, and she gives him a smile. When she came running to me after her appointment, an hour later than I'd expected her, I though she'd gotten him to do her, right in that dentist chair. Like Rachel in Friends when she does her ex-fiancé/the guy she left at the altar/her best friend's new fiancé… I braced myself for the worst when I opened the door, and she was jumping up and down, all excited, saying I just HAD to come with her to her next appointment tomorrow. I took her into the kitchen, poured her some milk (I was never, EVER letting her drink soda on my watch again) and all the while she talked about snakes, Britney's diamond suit and that red, leathery body suit… also about 10 year old boys, which kind of freaked me out. But in the end I realized she hadn't had sex with him. She hadn't even tried because apparently the anesthesia was just like roofies but better. And well, how could I say no? Honestly, to Brittany, how could I ever say no?

"Which means I have a killer health care plan that pretty much pays for everything. So get up in my grill!" I show him my teeth and my attitude. He's not denying me to share this with Brittany. She needed me for once, and so, she would have me. "'Cuss Britt and I wants-" Pause for dramatic effect. "-to get our anesthesia on!"

"It's totally cool." Brittany looks happily at me. Then she gives Dr. McHottie her sweet look. We had played the good cheerleader, bad cheerleader move and well, it seemed to be working.

"Okay, I can give you a super strong bleaching."

"Hmmm." I smile, satisfied.

"Should I turn the radio on?" We look at each other, putting in our earplugs.

"We got it covered."

"_All my people in the crowd,  
grab a partner take it down."_

I wasn't expecting my subconscious self to feel this strongly. I was really not expecting to be turned into Madonna. But she is the sex godess of all living things, and it somehow made sense that Britt turned into my younger (in mind), sexy Britney.

This song… All of my repressed feelings for Britt, that I hadn't even thought of while picking out this song with her, somehow flowed through my veins and my heart banged against my ribs even though I was not actually aware, I knew.

It was like… girls, boys, everyone. Even Puck was there for a short while. I realized, to my astonishment, all of the boys I'd had a thing for… or with, was there.

By the time we were actually dancing together I had built up so much sexual energy I didn't know what to do but dance, dance, dance with her. I don't know why, but it felt so incredibly real to me. I guess I'd been missing her way more in that way than I had let myself believe.

"Come on Brittany, loose control,  
watch you take it down…"

I woke up to Brittany's amazing little giggling. And felt more unsure and naked than ever. Awesome was replaced with fear as soon as Dr. Peppers Roofies ran out and reality poured into me.

.

* * *

.

She'd pulled her hat off, and now she let go off my hand, letting her hair down. We'd stopped in the middle of the empty hallway. All lights were out and only the late summer sun was shining through the windows as light.

"Britt, that was the fire alarm." I was breathing a little heavily. "We should really get out of school."

She shook her blonde hair out, directing her almond eyes on me. I stopped with my hand mid air, on its way up to my hat.

"Do you smell anything?" I smelled the air, scrunching up my nose.

"Umm, no. Nothing."

"Then I think we should assume it's Sue. She likes doing it, right?" I sighed, smiling. Truth be told, Sue used that fire alarm like once a month, to make the Cheerios panic and realize they were so bad she wished they'd all burn to a crisp in the gym. But we'd all gotten kind of used to it by now.

"I guess you're right. I was expecting it really, even before we started singing. She did have that sly look on her face." I got my hand moving again, taking of my hat and using it as a fan, looked at her as she moved her hair away from her neck. Some strands were plastered against her wet skin. I felt my cheeks grow little hot and swallowed hard.

"Did you see how happy the crowd was? That felt amazing! I can't believe how good I sounded!" She was smiling, eyes gleaming at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

She quickly corrected herself.

"Well, I mean, we, but…!" I reached out and put my hand on her arm.

"No, that was pretty much all you Britt. It was amazing." She smiled even bigger at that, which I thought was close to impossible.

"All thanks to the real life Dr. Pepper." I laughed slightly, leaning in to give her a peck on the cheek, because I just couldn't help myself. Then I stopped, before doing it, my smile disappearing. She turned her head slightly to stare at me innocently. It was a bad idea. I don't think I could do it. I just swallowed hard, let my fingers trail gently down her arm before sighing and leaning back. That was when she grabbed my arm and leaned in, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"I didn't want to miss out." She half smiled, looking a little sad. She'd figured me all out. My heart skipped a beat, and I suddenly felt like running home crying.

We were all alone in that hallway. The shadows of the morning sun were making the hallway look light blue. Not a single footstep was heard, besides the muffled cries of people out in the courtyard. I could kiss her now. I could push her up against those lockers and just kiss her. There was nothing I wanted more, except… I couldn't do it. I didn't want to hurt her. She was my best friend in the whole world, and kissing her… it would somehow change us again. Like it did before.

I couldn't do that to her. And let's face it, I couldn't do that to me. I was way too selfish than to risk losing her.

So instead I whispered a small:

"Thanks," took her pinky in mine and led her out to all the others, to reality, not daring to look back at her. I just heard her steady breathing and felt her tiny finger tremble together with mine.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: I know I haven't written in quite a while. I'll be honest. First of all, my school is killing me. Second, I need to get to know my new classmates. Third, I need to keep up with my old friends. Fourth, I've fallen deeply in love with a new couple: Sleeping Warrior. It's the name for Mulan/Aurora from Once upon a time. They're amazing, not as good as Brittana, but they are so lovely. Fifth is the hardest one to admit but… I haven't really had any time or inspiration. I got blocked. But hey, as soon as I saw Santana back this season, I started crying. Then, they broke up. I cried for a week. Then, Santana sang "there are worse things I could do" – and let's admit it, I am a tiny bit awesome for writing that in my fic BEFORE it even happened! XD**  
**And now… this last episode… I just, I just CAN'T! I want my Brittana! I love Sam, but not with Britt like THAT, and they are making Britt so DAMN DUMB that I don't know what to make of her character anymore. She's not dumb. She thinks in her own way, she moves to another beat and her logic is not very real life logical, but she is not dumb. She's smarter than that. And seeing her marry Sam without any thoughts of San. Fuck this. Don't worry. WHEN I WRITE IT SHE WILL CALL SANTANA MULTIPLE TIMES etc. And Santana will try to calm her down…AND Britt will do all this with Sam to get San's attention and Jealousy! Yeah? I'll fix something.**

**Anyway, Brittana is forever. And well, they have to. They just, have to! They are the couple that makes me believe in love. I'm not giving up on this… Murphy, Britt was correct. There will be many violent, angry Brittana shippers out there. And yes, we don't mind getting violent with you. And I would never personally hit Sam, I love the guy. But… ehum… I don't mind Santana going ALL LIMA HEIGHTS on his ass.**


	20. Come to my window

**Chapter 20**

**(Brittany)**

.

.

"_I've had a really hard year and I turned to God a lot for help. I for one, wouldn't mind saying thanks."_

_Quinn's voice made Santana stir beside me._

"_Thanks for what? That it didn't come out a lizard baby?"_

.

.

"Why did you say that to Quinn?" We're sitting on separate ends of the room, me in my chair by the desk and Santana in my bed. She stops chewing her pen but keeps looking into her work book.

"What do you mean?" I swallow.

"I mean, that comment about Quinn's lizard baby." She looks up.

"Well, Puck was the father. He calls his dick the Puckasaurus. It's lucky she didn't end up with one." She smiles a little cockily. Not like when she said it. She'd had that protective voice. She knew I wasn't much for God, but I… I'm not sure what made her act like that. And I needed to know.

"…why don't you like God?" Now Santana's eyes are really on me, and she sits up.

"I do. You know I do. Grandma always takes good care of me; she's taught me how important He is."

"And you don't care if I don't believe in him? I mean, otherwise I would've had a pet unicorn in my garden years ago." I smile a little. She shakes her head slowly, eyes not leaving mine.

"No. I really don't care. Especially not now." I crinkle my nose.

"Now?" She sighs, looks away.

"That report you gave to Kurt, for his dad… that was more than God would've ever done for him."

I swallow. "…Because of what he said about God in Glee club?"

"Yeah. The churches here in Lima are so… OLD. The priests actually do talk a lot about faith, and God loving all his children, but at the same time they preach about how gay is wrong. How a boy or… or a girl loving a person of the same sex is wrong. Is a sin. As bad as mur-…"

There is a long silence, where I feel a lump in my throat. Then she looks up, straight into my eyes.

"How can loving someone be so wrong?" I ask her. I remember what I wrote on the card for Kurt… Heart attacks are just from loving too much. I'm actually not sure how I haven't gotten one myself yet.

She suddenly looks like she wants to shake her head, shake away this conversation, like it's something wet that is ruining her hair.

"Well, something like that. Whatever." She looks back into her book, but instead of staying where I am, I walk up to her and sits down beside her on the bed.

"San, do you feel sorry for Kurt? Or is it about something else?" I give her thigh a reassuring pat. That was stupid.

She looks up at me, my hand still on her thigh. I rip it away.

"Ops. Sorry." Santana's eyes don't leave me though. I smile nervously. I know that look. She looks angry. Her eyebrows are pressed together and her mouth is close to a sneer. I quickly need to find something less serious to talk about. I don't want her to scold me. I don't want another lesson in how we're "just friends". I know God is a touchy subject. Santana has been weird since her mom came back. She's been... I've been trying to tolerate it, be sweet as always, but at the end of the day I am at some receiving end of all of the little things that bother her. She still protects me from everyone and everything. But there's a difference now. _She can't protect me from herself._

"It's okay. I'm just so… frustrated when he's not around." She looks away, breathing out through her nose. It's almost Bailey-like, a little snort. She has been spending a lot of time with Puck lately. More than once she's told me he's a good distraction.

"That' okay. You know I'm here if you need anything…" I let my voice seep out in the air between us. Oops again. What did I just say? I offered myself. I couldn't help it. Her eyes were a deep shade of brown today, not the usual warm coke. She smelled faintly of almonds and ginger bread. Her dark eyelashes made her eyes look like they were closed while she seemed to be reading her book very intently. Santana's skin was the usual glow of someone spending a lot of time in the sun. Her cheerios costume was squeezing her in all the right places, and all I could think was that just looking at her like this was the one thing I could never get tired of. Then she looked up, into my eyes and I realized _that_ was the one thing I would never, ever get tired of. Hummingbirds and chocolate. It was as if that first kiss all over again, and all we were doing was looking at each other. I imagined seeing all sorts of things in there, but in reality I think I really didn't see anything at all. Until my hand was back on her thigh.

Her eyes flickered. She didn't look down, but she swallowed and her skin turned into goose bumps under my touch. I felt my cheeks grow a little flushed and my middle became very hot.

I moved my hand a little, letting my fingers travel up and down her skin. Santana's breathing became louder, and her eyes half closed. Her eye brows knitted together and then her hand was on mine.

"Don't." Then she looked into my eyes. We held each other's gaze for a moment or two, before her nails bored into the back of my hand, and in one sharp intake of breath she pushed me down on the duvet, straddling me, my hands pressed down on the mattress above my head. Just like that night she'd been drunk and sad, and had climbed through my window to surprise me.

I was too quick to let her lead though. I titled my head up, and kissed her. Her eyes closed immediately, and I followed. She trembled as our mouths came together. Then she broke off the kiss, kissing my neck, letting her knee move against me and I bit my lip hard.

.

.

When mom, dad and Daphney had come home, they called on us. Santana and I were cuddled up close on my bed, talking about homework. Coming down, daddy remarked on me having such red cheeks. Santana and I looked at each other, smiling a little.

"We fell asleep." Santana said, like it was the most obvious answer.

"History, again?" We laughed.

They all nodded and smiled as they'd put more food on their plates. I'd just been thinking about how incredibly sexy it was to watch Santana eat. I could hardly tear my eyes off of her mouth closing around the fork. I had to force myself to eat the entire broccoli not to show the whole table how jealous I was of _her _broccoli, getting that kind of reception from her mouth.

Well up in my room I laid down on the bed again, and Santana followed, lying down on her stomach. I stared at those lips as she cuddled close, kissing my neck. My arms wrapped around her as I sighed happily. It felt so nice, warm. I relaxed completely into her touch.

She kissed my cheekbone and I laughed, feeling her feet moving next to mine.

"Oh, sweet lady kisses." Her little "Mhmm" proved that she remembered. She stopped kissing me and looked up. Her breath tickled my chin.

"It's a nice break from all that scissoring." Her actually saying it out loud made a shiver of excitement go up and down my spine. Then she leaned in, brushing by my lips by an inch. It took my breath away. She started working on my neck again, and I laughed quietly.

It was working well. She was joking about it. I thought once again about all those times when we were younger, and she used to climb up the tree outside my room and then tumble in through my window as she woke me up. There was a song that kept reminding me of everything that was her.

"We should do a duet together." When she didn't say anything, I let my hand travel to her neck. "We should sing Melissa Etheridge's come to my window."

I wonder if she knew it. Because suddenly my skin felt very cold, and she pulled her head back. Her eyes were cold again. Empty. Like she'd flicked off the switch.

"First of all; there's a lot of talking going on… " I felt my heart sink in my chest, hummingbirds falling down with it. She seemed to change her mind, leans down to kiss my skin again. "And I wants to get my mack on." I wonder how I should save this.

"I, well… I don't know. I just…" I try not to feel disappointed. This time she gets off of me.

"Second of all, I'm not making out with you 'cause I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies." I roll over on the side, leaning on my hand as I stare at her back. She's fixing her hair… It hurts so much. It's a burning feeling, corrosive, I think the word is. The things that snake bites make you feel, my dad told me once.

Like you're corroding from the inside of you skin.

"I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer for about twelve hours now, and I'm like a lizard." She looks back at me as she's making her ponytail. One second, then she looks away. Her voice is a little hoarse, but otherwise it's cold as ice. I swallow hard again.

"I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food."

I work hard not to let my voice loose balance. I'm afraid I'll trip over my own words.

"But who… are you gonna sing a duet with?" I look down on stripy, white sheets. The lump in my throat is back, growing stronger with each moment her back is turned to me. I can see her smile, just by looking at her neck. She doesn't answer at first.

"You'll see." I roll over to my other side as she finishes her ponytail. It's higher than it's been in a while. I wonder why. Then she must've turned to look at me, because her voice reaches even deeper into stomach.

"I'm going home. Aren't you gonna follow me down?" I swallow once, hard. My nose is burning, and I know that I'm going to cry. I hardly ever cry. I always try to see the bright side, because crying is the worst. But this side of Santana has no bright spots.

"No." I manage to squeeze out. "I'm too tired." I barely dare to breathe, worried a sob will escape. She doesn't answer, she doesn't move. After almost a minute, she walks away without saying anything. I hear her hurried steps, and how she shouts goodbye to my family on the ground floor. As I listen to her footsteps rushing down the graveled path through our garden, I hear the paws of a very heavy Lord Tubbington approach my bed.

He jumps up and starts purring loudly. Instead of being his usual, lazy self he paws over to me. With a little sound in his throat he lays down with his back to my lower back where Santana's hand was roaming over a couple of minutes ago. He stays there, warming me up with his fur.

Like it wasn't bad enough, that song keeps playing in my head.  
_  
You don't know how far I'd go__  
To ease this precious ache__  
You don't know how much I'd give__  
Or how much I can take_

One single tear escapes and rolls down across the bridge of my nose.

.

.

"_Great Duets are like a great marriage. The singers complement each other; push each other to be better."_

.

.

My sadness quickly turned to rage.

Santana had taught me all about being a sneaky bitch, and well, I was sure going to use it. The next morning me, Becky and Rose went to the Lima Bean. I'd texted them last night, telling them I had some serious trouble. Now Becky looked at me, drinking her hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. Rose was the one to speak up.

"Look, Santana is always being a bitch. The unnatural thing is her being it towards you." Me and Becky nodded. "Even though you're not in that kind of relationship…" she winked at me and I blushed. "The best way is to make her jealous." I clapped my hands.

"Yes! But how do I do that exactly? I need to take someone… she likes?" Becky snorts and a marshmallow flips onto the table.

"Noo. Chose someone she hates." Rose nods eagerly while sipping her mocha.

"I agree with Becks. You need to make her really jealous. Maybe not someone she hates, but someone she's not expecting. Someone who's not the obvious choice that you will screw and then throw away like a used tissue." She giggles, but I don't join in.

"Wouldn't that be really mean to the person I'm using?" Becky shakes her head.

"Naah…"

"Come on!" Rose says; happily. "The boys in school should be happy we're even paying attention to them! With so many hot girls around, why should we even give them the time of day?" I look at her, grinning.

"So that means you and Tania are…" Rose's face turn bright red.

"Well! No, not really!" Then she laughs and flaps her hand, almost spilling out my vanilla latte.

"How about Artie?" Becky says. "He's really hot!" Me and Rose turn to her. She's got a moustache out of whipped cream, which is adorable. I hand her a napkin.

"I always kind of thought he was a robot. He's got those gloves, and he's so smart." Becky nods.

"The wheelchair looks like it might be able to fly." She adds.

"Cool!" I exclaim.

"Well, he's a good idea. It's a person she'd never expect you to date. She might even think you actually_ like_ him. It's PERFECT." Rose looks thrilled, still a little red in the face. I nod. And he's the one boy I haven't kissed yet… I didn't really think he counted, robot and all… so, anyway, it'll help my perfect score. Let the games begin.

.

.

"So… let me get this straight. You wanna be my girlfriend." I smile at that. He looks so sweet and confused. I find myself actually liking it. "Because you…" I move in closer, hands behind my back. "Like the idea of wheeling me around?"

"I just really wanna get you in a stroller." My hands are on my hips now, and Artie smiles up at me. Score.

"Wanna give it a go?" I nod, move around to his back, letting my hand touch his shoulder before taking a hold of his wheelchair. Nice, just like a doll. Except this one talks.

"I haven't had a boyfriend in a while. I love it already." He laughs slightly at me, pushing his glasses further up his nose, as I go on. "We should brag about it."

"So I get to tell everybody that we're dating?"

"Yes." I see Santana coming down the corridor with Mercedes. "And I got a duet partner." I look her straight in the eyes, and then look away quickly, pretending not to care. She's giving me the bitch face.

I can't help it. I turn around, satisfied with seeing her stare, arms crossed over her chest. I point at both my breasts, then telling her off by wiggling my finger. She looks kind of shocked. Sad? I don't know. When I turn away, I smile to myself.

"So Artie, what kind of music do you like?"

.

.

"And now I love you just the way I loved that ragdoll,  
But only now that love has grown…"

Santana's eyes are hard on me as she's singing. And moving. Artie is so into the song he almost smacks me in the face. I sit there; knowing sitting beside him is driving her at least a little bit over the edge. My head is moving a tiny bit from side to side, but not enough to show that I like the song one bit. It's about loving someone as much as childhood memories. Or like, the love of toys and pens? Not sure. Besides, I never imagined Santana liking Mercedes… this has to be about voices, not love. Right?

"Oooh how I love you baby, baby, baby, baby…!" I can't help but lean forward, laughing as I see Santana's pants. I quickly straighten up, looking like I don't care.

It's not even fair when they start shaking their assets in my face.

And then… her bitch face, eyes right on me as she high fives Mercedes. I start biting my nails. My stomach is full of the crying Hummingbirds. It feels like they're quick wings have slowed down.

I'm gonna have to start sitting in Artie's lap to get back at her for this.

.

.

**A/N: I love reviews, and I love writing. Not to beg for them, but some feedback would be great. I care what you think, every one of you 62 followers (!), and ideas are GREATLY welcomed!**


	21. Touch-a, Touch

**Chapter 21**

**(Santana)**

* * *

When Kurt walks up to take "the stage" so to speak, I am raging with anger.

I feel like clawing my own eyes out seeing Brittany getting comfortable right on top of Artie's… thing. I'm not sure it's working, but the way they're both smiling and giggling I can only imagine that it must be sticking right up her ass by now. I bite my lip angrily and jump at the chance bitch and moan.

"How can you do a duet by yourself? That's like vocal masturbation or something." Quinn is laughing. I smile a little – she's always appreciated my snappy remarks. Then I stare at Brittany, snuggling closer to Artie, and I swear I almost throw up a little in my mouth. CLOSER; as if it was even possible! You'd have to use a crowbar to bend them apart.

"I will be doing a number from the cinema classic movie Victor/Victoria." I can't take the sight of them a second longer, so I swallow and look away. "It's about embracing both the male and the female sides." He looks at me smugly. What?

"Watch and learn, Santana." My eyes quickly snap into focus. Shit. What does he know? Nothing, I'd say when I watch his quite amazing (in a corny, quite extremely gay kind of way) performance. I'd say the same about my… well, let's stick with Dracula. It's got a nice ring to it. Bitch Dracula is always around me, and she pretends like she has no ulterior motives, but she is my biological mother after all, and I am not this way for nothing. We pretty much invented the concept of being two faced. And I'm all too aware of Kurt being well adapted in it. If he's onto me I'll snap the heels off his Jimmy Cho's. That'll teach him.

.

* * *

.

The Asians power couple is standing in front of us. Just to make the situation worse, Brittany has put her head sweetly on Artie's shoulder.

"Whenever you're ready guys," Mr. Schue says.

"Yeah, and hurry up." I try to keep my voice bitchy, but today, somehow, it's not working. "I needs to get myself to breadstix." I look down at my nails, anything not to see that sweet, lotus smelling ponytail falling down Artie's shoulder like a waterfall.

Now she sits up.

"Don't count on it." She throws a glance back at me and I sense something in her eyes. A jolt goes through me when our eyes meet, before she snaps back, looking at her hands. "I'm mad at you, but you're still so hot." Like she's speaking under her breath - those words make me almost smile for a second. One lonely little bird is flapping its wings against my heart. Then I knit my eyebrows. What's she doing?

I've been a horrible bitch to her. There's no excuse except… she wanted us to do a duet. And she asked me while we were making out! As if we were actually some kind of… _thing_. It wasn't even supposed to have happened, and now she was asking about duets, thinking we… thinking we were something more than friends.

No. It wasn't like that. We were friends, using some of our benefits. I mean, besides, the world we live in is a real shitty place. Not a place to be different. Not a place for a cheerio to stand out. We were a synchronized blur of red and white. A force of nature. Not individuals.

She looked back at me another split second, and I pretended not to notice.

.

* * *

.

"And then I told him: 'Before our _duet_, we're gonna _do it!_'" Rose giggled loudly, leaning into Tania. Quinn was smiling to herself next to me too. I wanted to kick her teeth in. Instead I growled in frustration. I was used to locker room yapping. This was different. I was usually the bitch talking.

Now Brittany was in the middle of her story of taking Artie's V card, and it was okay, because he was on the football team.

"How was it afterwards?" I peeked over my shoulder at that. Brittany's smile was real. Her eyes met mine for a few seconds.

"It was actually really sweet." Rose squealed and Britt's voice was unnervingly warm. "He was so sweet, wanting to cuddle. He even said he could stay in my bed for a week." The girls all loved Brittany. Not only because she was so innocent, but because she was so sweet to everyone and at the same time had some of the dirtiest stories to tell. Her own and others, since people usually thought she was so nice and dense that she wouldn't tell anyone. She used that, and was great at it. Afterwards, nobody could really ever get mad at her for spilling their secrets. Mostly because she pretended not to realize – or because I came to her rescue.

"When we win the duet competition, I thought we'd order meatballs and spaghetti. I even practiced rolling the meatball with my nose. Like in, you know, Lady and the Tramp." All the girls awed, and while they did, giving her all their lucky wishes, patting her head, I slammed my locker shut, power walking out with anger and even worse, tears, burning in my throat.

I manage to keep them down long enough to get home. The wind through the open roof in my car made me lose my breath, which helped. When I walk in through the door she's there. She's actually sitting across from my dad, laughing over coffees. I was not expecting them to laugh. Last time they even talked my dad had been yelling at her over the phone so loudly that spit had been running down his chin.

Now he was… almost smiling! And chuckling! This is a load of crap. She noticed me.

"Oh, hi Santana." Dad looked up as well, and actually smiled when he saw me.

I didn't answer. I went straight for the fridge, picking out a box of strawberries.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" I sneered, getting a bowl. The female Dracula smiled; lips red as blood. Fitting.

"Oh, I came to apologize to your dad. We had a very heated discussion about… your new assets the other day." Her gaze was glued on my chest. Hey, it wasn't like hers were real. Mine were perkier though. I just raised an eyebrow, washing the berries.

"Pamela here got me to see the situation in a whole other light." I looked over my shoulder to see them both looking at me. Judging me. That was something I hadn't missed. He cleared his throat. "Though I hope you don't get any back problems. Or problems performing. They add about 1 kg each, I presume. And don't even get me started on the infections…!" I turned around to yell at him, but Dracula was already there, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze.

"We went to the best doctor in Ohio. I know we should've told you there was more to our trip, but this meant a lot to both of us." My dad's tense face relaxed. I realized I was standing with the box of strawberries dripping down my arm, mouth wide open.

I poured them into the bowl, growling like they expected their teenager do.

"Anyway, they're looking good."

"My dad makes me go to check up with his Justine every other day." Justine was one of my dad's female colleagues. She was about 55 and dealt with him like you would a turtle trying to bite your toes. She was quick, cheeky, fat and kind. Dad had so much respect for her, and I actually liked her. Wouldn't have minded if he had taken her for a wife instead of Cruella. Where did that fur loving bitch hide now anyhow? She would've been here if she'd known, accidently spilling something boiling over my mom's skirt and then we'd never see her – or her ovaries - ever again. For once, having Cruella around wouldn't be that bad. At least she was human – a puppy thief you could clog on the head. A vampire doesn't care about that. And throwing her out into the sun wouldn't do much to this one, except maybe help her age a little bit faster. Dracula was a bitch to get rid of. Maybe if I ran away, she wouldn't try to eat me.

"Anyway, I got homework. Nice to see you, Pamela." Her name tasted badly in my mouth. Truth be told, I was almost a tiny bit happy having her here. It must mean she cared about me at least a tiny bit.

"Bye, Santana baby!" Baby. Yuck.

I went up to my bed and brought out my phone. Taking a berry by its green hat I ate it, before finally tapping into YouTube. When I found the song I hesitated before pressing play. It had lyrics on the screen.

"_I would dial the numbers just to listen to your breath  
And I would live inside my hell and hold the hand of death  
You don't know how far I'd go to ease this precious ache"_

I curled up on the bed, arms wrapped around my legs and my chin on top of my knees. That very first line made me want to pick up the phone and throw it out the window. Instead I just sat there, listening, while I had a sickening feeling in my stomach and a burning sensation in my throat. I was not going to let myself cry.

.

* * *

.

I found him rolling in the food court, one of the red plastic trays in his lap.

"She's using you for your voice, that's the only reason she had sex with you." I smile knowingly.

Artie looks a little taken aback, not surprised though. This might be easier than I thought.

"Wait, how do you know that?" I turn around and see Miles just behind me. Perfect timing. I put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Hi, excuse me. Do you know Brittany?"

"Cheerios Brittany?" I nod as sweetly as I can.

"Mhhm."

"Yeah. We had sex." He's nodding before walking away, having cleared that up.

I make a satisfied noise, turning to face Artie. When he's not looking at me, I feel like rubbing it in. I mean: Brittany is mine. I'm just marking my territory here. Besides, that wheelchair geek should know better.

"Look. I don't mean to be a bitch." I lean down, so that I'm at his eyelevel. "Well, yeah, actually I do." I acknowledge this, shrugging. I put my arms neatly onto his armrest, looking up at him.

"But the only thing you can give Brittany, that she can't get somewhere else…Is super choice parking." I give him my bitch face. He looks away. Oh yeah.

.

* * *

.

We're sitting next to each other with the new script. I'd only seen Rocky Horror once, with my mom, all those years ago. It was hardly a movie fit for an 8 year old, but my mom wasn't really mother-of-the-year material anyhow. Me and Britt happened to be sitting next to each other yes, didn't mean we were actually… friends. I hadn't apologized, and I hadn't let her know about me being the reason either. And well, I wasn't planning on it. She'd get really mad at me. Some secrets had to be kept a secret. Besides, she was smart. She'd probably figured it out if Artie hadn't spilled it already.

Hot dentist obviously couldn't help himself. I looked at Britt's smile.  
_"Opportunity, bless my soul, I really love that rockn'roll!"_ She suddenly pops up, dancing, waves at everyone else to join. But her eyes are on me. It's like a peace offering. She knows I can't say no to her… or well, does she?

I run down and we grab hands. Then it's swinging. It's really the first time we dance like this. Together, hand in hand. The very first time… My heart is skipping so many heartbeats I'm afraid I'll drop dead any second now. Her eyes are on me, and it's like the rest of the room just disappears. We dance further away from the others, around and around we go. It's like we're all alone. Damn, I wish we were alone. We are both left breathing heavily, trying to catch our breaths. Mine run out of my chest each time we lock eyes, but my eyes just won't stop searching for hers.

After the rush of the song's gone, everyone's leaving. Mr. Schuester is staring at Miss Pillsbury and Hot!Dentist as they twirl out of the choir room, talking and smiling. His eyes look black with jealousy, and I feel for him. It makes you blind, that kind of rage towards another person. Finn passes him last, giving him a pat on the arm. It wakes Mr. Schuester up, and he looks around the room.

"Make sure to lock up, Santana." In a sudden confusion he trusts me. I just nod at him, excusing his lack of judgment and decide not to do anything that will harm him at this moment. Almost like I cared. Huh.

I sigh as I start humming on the song we were just dancing to.

"You coming?" Brittany's voice carries through the room. She's in the doorway, looking at me. I shouldn't question it, I should just take it. But…BUT.

"I'm such a bitch," I sigh, reaching out for my bag, not daring to look at her. Her voice is closer now.

"I know." I look back up at her. She smiles slightly. "But I've always known that."

I nod, feeling my heart ache with the truth of it all. "Well, I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon, just to let you know." She's still staring though.

"I just wish…" She stops, not being able to finish something she knows I don't want to hear. I frown at that, not looking at her but the door behind her.

"I'm overprotective." I admit. She sighs.

"I know. This time it actually hurt though." I don't know if she's talking about me being mean, being a bitch or being overprotective or… "The Artie thing, I mean. It was kind of sad." I look up. She's not talking about it… us now? It stings a little, mixed in with relief.

"You should be happy. He's a robot." I say, matter-of-factly. She shakes her head.

"He's not though - I should know!" She giggles a little. "I'm not used to guys breaking up with me, that's all."

"That's because he's a complete idiot. And you're amazing." I blush as I say it, looking down at my nails.

Her answer is a mere mumble. "It doesn't exactly help hearing you say that." I look up and see her piercing blue eyes glaring into mine. "But whatever."

"Whatever?"

"Yeah, whatever. We're _friends_ so none of it matters. You were looking out for me, you thought he was a robot, and that would result in me having a robot baby. Which could kill me. I've seen the alien movies." I stare at her, dumbfounded. She smiles a little, waiting for my reply. "Right?"

"…Yes."

"And you're an overprotective bitch who's gonna treat me to ice cream. Right?" I want to laugh and cry and yell and well, kiss her, all at the same time.

"Uhm, Yeah… Yes!" She nods, flips her ponytail around and walks out the door. There she turns.

"Sooo… You coming? I feel like spying on Mr. Schuester after that ice cream. The way he looks at Dr. Pepper makes me think he's got a real tooth ache." I can't stop it this time. The laugh escapes my throat and I feel like knocking her to the ground. But I contain myself, as always.

"Yeah, let's lock this place up. So, you wanna have chocolate ice cream, right?" She lifts an eyebrow at me.

"With rainbow marshmallows."

"Yes mam."

.

* * *

.

We were just in time. The windows next to ours were open, so we could hear everything they were saying. Brittany and I had just walked around the corner, Britt finishing up her ice cream, when we saw them.

"Let's just imagine that… we're all alone." We peeked over the edge of the glass window. Brittany was so close to me I felt a little shiver go down my spine. It was the same feeling as when we'd danced. My breath ran out of me. Will pressed play on the CD player, and off they went. Wanky.

"_I'd only ever kissed… before…_" Emma looked like she was sweating buckets.

Britt turned sweetly to me. "You mean she…?" I smiled, closing my eyes and nodding.  
"Uhu."

"_I felt there's no use getting… into heavy sweating…_"  
Her hand travelled down Mr. Schuester's shirt… and vest. We had to duck not to get seen. Britt nudged me and I tried not to laugh too loudly. This was like forbidden porn and her eyes and teasing smile didn't help. I loved it.

"_It only leads to trouble and… bad fretting_." We peeked up again. Just in time to see Miss Pillsbury start unbuttoning her cardigan.

"_I've tasted blood and I want more!_" Brittany got carried away. She laughed, looking at me and giving my shoulder a little shove. I mean, we had gotten the two perfect parts for each other too. We were both singing along, like the good backup singers we were at the moment.

"_More, more, more, more!_"

When they started touching each other it was so inappropriate. "It's so dirty!" I whispered to Britt, who laughed, shushing me.

"_I've got an itch to scratch!  
I need assistance!"_

"_Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a ,Touch me!_" It was… kind of a turn on. Brittany's hand came on my back, moving slyly across it. I leaned into Brittany, to get a better look… and honestly, to lean into her touch. She almost pulled me closer. Her scent and her soft skin. I bit my lower lip.  
"_I wanna be dirty!_"

Miss Pillsbury grinded her butt against him. Hah!

"_Creature of the night!_"

When she jumped up on the sink, Brittany turned to me, and I grinned, locking eyes with her. She sweetly shook her shoulders at me. Then her eyes traveled to my lips. The smile made my cheeks hurt.

I ducked my head down, Britt laughed, getting a better look. Then she ducked down with me. Our faces were so close I could see a stray eyelash on her cheek. We stared at each other, smiling.

"_So if anything shows, while you pose…_"

"Now?" she mumbled? I nodded.

"_I'll oil you up and drop you down._" We both popped up at the same time.

"_Down, down, down!_"

Seeing her throw his shirt away. Even though I was loving it, it felt wrong staying. Besides, singing this song with Britt was making my lady loins go crazy. I was losing my already fading self-control! When Mrs. Pillsbury grabbed his tie and started pulling him we looked at each other, both blushing.

"_And that's just one small fraction,  
of the main attraction!_"

I couldn't help myself.

"_Ooh!_" I shouted, letting a hand go up my neck and throwing my head back teasingly, slowly letting it creep down to my chest.

"_I want a friendly man!_"

Britt looked at me, grinning before throwing her head back, moaning.

"_Ooooh!_" I held my hand to my chest, laughing. My stomach was ablaze with hummingbirds, and my face was hot as if I'd stayed way too long in the sun. My lips were trembling as I tore my gaze away.

When Mrs. Pillsbury sat in his lap, rolling that chair towards us, we were both looking at them, smiling with mouths open in disbelief. I wrapped my arm around Britt, pulling her real close. When they turned I pulled her even closer, and she wrapped her arms around me. My heart was in my chest, buzzing.

"_Touch-a, Tuch-a, Touch-a, Touch me!_" I leaned into her, pressing my nose to her neck as I was laughing so hard I didn't know how to stop. Then I threw my head back with laughter, and she pushed me away jokingly. I looked at her, putting my hand on her shoulder, showing back.

She looked into the classroom, eyes growing wide as she suddenly pulled me down out of sight.

"_Throw me, shun me, fulfill me!  
Creature of the night!_"

Brittany grabbed my pinky and her schoolbag, and laughing, she pulled me away from the scene and into the school and its empty school corridors.

"_Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch me!_" I sang, twirling while clutching to her pinky.

"_I wanna be dirty!_" Singing and leaning into each other, moving together. It was unbeatable. My heart was beating so incredibly fast. As I skipped away, she ran after me singing:

"_Throw me, shun me, fulfill me!_" She took off her school bag, before leaping up into the air with her hand on my shoulder.  
"_Creature of the night!_"

"_Aha!_" I shouted. We were laughing so hard by the time we reached the door. We both almost slammed into the wall as we leaned back, breathing heavily. The dark shadows in the hallway, the afternoon sun creeping in through the windows. I turned my head to look at her, and she was smiling, looking down the corridor.

"That was awesome!" She said, meeting my gaze.

"Yeah, it was. We've got perfect timing in the song now. And nothing like spying on the teachers. Wanky!"

"That's not the only thing that was awesome about it." She let that hang in the air between us. I breathe in deeply, looking away. Then I let my fingers travel down her arm, letting our fingers intertwine. Her thumb rubs against mine. I close my eyes, smiling.

"Let's just stay like this for a little while, okay?" she ask quietly. I just hums in response. Even though the song is killing me, her fingers with mine will have to be enough.

I feel a tremor inside of my chest. My fingers starts trembling, it's like my whole body. I feel it in Brittany too. I open my eyes, look at her. She's swallowing hard, staring at our hands. I try to push it away, but it's there again, taking over my being. I feel warm and wet and all I want to do is push her against the wall and hold her close. My eyes grow warm, I bite my lower lip, hard. Her hand in mine is clutching to it like it's her last link to me. I didn't know anyone could feel this strongly about a person. I let a dry sob escape my lips, and our eyes meet. This is the time to do it. And the time I think I maybe realize it. My whole body, every fiber of my being, reaching out to kiss her skin. I stop myself, prying my hand away and show her my back, one hand still against the wall to support my shaking knees that seems to fail me now.

It's ridiculous. It's like those silly love stories of people being completely overpowered with this feeling. I can't be one of them. This is not impossible to fight. It's wrong. It's wrong, it's wrong, it's so wrong. It's a sin; here, out there, up there. I bite my tongue. Her fingers are reaching out for me, I can feel it. But this is so wrong – this is just my imagination. It's impossible to feel this way. This is reality. I must be ill.

"I feel sick," I say truthfully. My knees almost buckle. "Will you drop me off?" She still doesn't touch me. I think somewhere deep down, she knows how I feel. Somehow, that's what I think.

"Yeah." She sounds out of breath. We can't do this, I hear it in her shuffling movements. _We can't do this_. "Let's just go." As our eyes meet hers are at first filled with everything I want to see, and then she blinks and they are cold and empty, like a frozen lake. No sea breeze in those tropical waters anymore, just a foreign whisper of snow and ice.

It scares me, because that's my trick. I've never seen her like that before. She smiles slightly at me, and we go away from the echoes of the song we just shared. The song which lyrics I so desperately wanted to come true.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: I actually love this chapter… It sucks for these two to have to go through this much angst, but at the same time I love angst. It's what shows us how strong a couple is. They long for each other. The feeling Santana gets is from my own experiences. I was in love with my best friend once. She used me like I first was scared that San used Britt. In my case, she just used me and now we've had a falling out. But it took time to learn to let go. But that won't happen to Brittana. I won't let it.**

**And the feelings… that's really how strong they are. I was literally shaking. I couldn't control it. It was heartbreaking… And I just know these two have the same kind of overpowering love for one another. I can feel it.**


	22. Breadstix Disasters

**Chapter 22  
(Brittany)**

.

* * *

.

"…when I noticed me and the guy behind me going for the same waffle. This guy's six eleven – 300 easy." I play with my lower lip, it being kind of more interesting than Puck's 15th prison story about the food court VS. the shower. "He's got his teeth filed into canines. Tats everywhere." San and I lock eyes, then she looks back at Puck, a mocking smile almost breaking out on her lips.

"It gets better." Bored, I scrape some whipped cream and strawberry sauce off of the plate with my finger. Licking it off, I hope someone will notice my tired attempt at a sexy move. At least I don't have to pretend to be impressed. That's San's job.

"Turning around I flex him my left pack and I flex my right pack." San's gaze stray. "Let go my echo." Now he's just talking about lizards. What gecko took his waffle? What's his obsession with reptiles anyhow? I mean I love dinosaurs as much as the next girl, but geckos? I smile slightly and San is hiding her smile in her hands, trying to make her eyes saucer like. When she throws me a glance, her eyes crinkle in the corners, giving her away. Puck is too busy looking all excited.

"And you know what he did? He let go of my echo." We all laugh lightly. San winks at me, before going:

"You should be our Nation's President."

"Maybe." Puck shrugs, looking like he agrees completely. I keep massaging Artie's leg, Santana and I knowing exactly what we're doing. I turn to him.

"I've been squeezing your leg for like the last hour and a half. Are you not attracted to me?" I stare at him, one hand playfully on my earring. Santana is choking on her drink in silent laughter.

"Sorry, I was really distracted by our waitress. She's totally into me." I see a look pass between him and Puck. Its funny how they think they're the only one's playing this game. Santana can't help herself. Her grin is so big that she has to pretend to drink her cherry cola. Not even I take that seriously.

She's sweet and all, but she has a man and 3 children at home. Besides they're happily married and she's going on 50. Puck moves around in his seat.

"Okay guys, let's move. This meal has been chomped." Now San and I lock eyes again. I glance at Artie.

"What?"

"Dude, I don't pay for food. It's my thing, yo." San's eyebrows are knit together tightly. "We're going to dine and dash. Let's go."

Her fingers twitch almost unnoticed. Oooh, San's angry now. And maybe a little worried. She blinks while she heads off from the table, shaking her head irritably. I grab my jacket and hurry after her, whispering;

"We're going to pay, right?"

"I soo hope he gets caught, that bitch. Maybe we should tell someone now." But there's no need for it. We turn around and see Artie stick an amount next to the receipt. Puck growls, turning back. Santana though, is laughing.

"Thank god your boy's such a do-gooder." We listen in with crossed arms as Puck is talking shit to Artie. He's such a good guy… I feel my heart warming, like hot butter.

"…I'll be escorting these two lovely ladies back to Shay Puckerman for a little sookie, sookie." I hear Santana snort. She pulls my wrist, leading me out of Breadstix.

"Let's go home to me," she says. "I'm sick of this guy. He's not getting it on with the two of us either, that pervert." I smile at her, with a stone heaving in my chest. I'm not sure it was because I felt sorry for Artie, or if it was because of Santana not wanting to share Puck with me.

It was cold outside. The temperature was okay, but a mean wind was blowing, making my skirt jerk violently. I turned around, looking back into the light of the diner. Artie rolled towards us, smiling and waving goodbye at the waitress. Puck and Santana were half shouting behind me. He was trying to convince her to come with him, but she was telling him off. Something about prison being hot to a certain point. I didn't pay much attention to it – she would be with him by the end of next week anyhow. It hurt to think about it that way, but slowly, inside of me, I was starting to give up on the possibility of us… taking a chance on the feelings we had. Those feelings that was impossible to put into words. Only music could come close to describing the happiness she made me feel. But at the same time, only music could describe the pain. That corroding pain of missing her even when she was right next to me.

I heard Puck get into his car, slamming the door shut. Santana yelled something.

I went up to the door, holding it so that Artie could get out.

"Thank you, Brittany," he smiled, a little sadly. I had a sudden realization, like a little jolt going through my body. This was simple. And best of all – he needed me. Santana never really did – or at least never told me she did. Her voice called my name behind us. I almost turned around.

"So, you're going with Puck?" He looked up at me, hope sparkling behind his glasses. I felt myself shaking my head, as Puck stepped on it, leaving me, Artie and Santana alone in the parking lot.

"Nope." Then he smiled, and I found myself smiling back. He had one of those smiles. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows.

"So, you girls want a ride?" I gave him a surprised look.

"What? You can drive?!" He chuckled.

"Naah. I'll just call my mom." I nodded, smiling again.

"That sounds perfect." Santana's hand was on my arm. Her warmth shot up through it like a flock of hummingbirds. My smile faded a little as I turned towards her. Her dark hair had escaped the ponytail, and her eyes were dark with something I couldn't put my finger on. Her cheeks were a little flushed like they usually were when she'd been yelling.

"What's happening?" I had a feeling she already knew. It was like she could see the evidence of my thoughts about Artie scribbled all over my forehead. Her eyes went over my face, like she was reading it right then and there. I looked away, as Artie gave me a nod, phone pressed against his ear. He pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"Artie's mom is giving us a ride home." When I looked back at her, her fingers had left my arm. I was half expecting her to tell me she'd rather take the bus. Or hitch hike with some scary trucker dude. Her eyes were glued to Artie, so sharp you could've probably cut yourself on her stare. Then she blinked and her eyes were empty.

"Cool."

.

* * *

.

Rachel leans confidently on the piano.

"We all have boyfriends on the football team. I say we band together and demand them to confront Kurofsky." Quinn speaks up, slightly annoyed, as always when Rachel is talking. Which is, well, all the time.

"First off all I'm not dating Sam, and second of all I think you personally just sent the feminine movement back 50 years." Rachel was quick to answer, though. Sometimes I felt like we should just leave them alone to solve their tension. But maybe that was just me, since I'd seen Quinn look at Santana in a certain way a few too many times. Couldn't really blame her, though.

"Look, guys like Kurofsky only responds to muscle."

"Sooo, we're gonna fight violence with violence." The way Quinn looks at her. Sometimes I think Rachel's the reason she's not dating Sam. She hates Kurofsky as much as we do. He's just a big ass, that's that. Rachel's eyes widen like a deer's. I sigh.

"No! Look, I'm not saying tha-that they should hit him! What I'm saying is that we need to defend Kurt and there's strength in numbers!" I shrug; she's got a point.

"I'm confused." Tina speaks up on the other side of Quinn. I look at her as she turns to me. "Are you and Artie officially dating now?" The shock and well, annoyance, in her voice made me a little bit defensive. I knew how Artie felt about her – they'd been so sweet together. But he'd told me how she'd broken up with him – only because of Mike's abs. It wasn't fair to him.

"Deal with it." Tina looks at me with a surprised look. It's not my fault if she realizes what she's missing. I think I see a glimpse of Santana's stride outside, and something inside of me itches to make a stupid remark that will make them question my sanity and hopefully make San a little jealous. "When you guys fooled around," I ask Tina with a blank expression, "did he ever like, just lie there?" Tina turns her head away, deeply concerned about Artie's safety, probs. And I hear Santana's voice, just like I hoped, with an undertone of… an edge. It cuts through everything.

"Why didn't you tell me we were having a Glee girls meeting?" She approaches Rachel like a lioness ready to prowl.

"This is a meeting for Glee girls with boyfriends; we're gonna stop Kurofsky from bullying Kurt." Santana's gaze falls on me, her brows furrowed, mouth slightly open in disbelief. She looks like I've stabbed her in the back and twisted the knife around. It was last week when Artie and I had become a couple. It was right after that awesome substitute teacher had been around. She really helped us out a lot. Well San and I had her in History, and suddenly a lot made sense. I guess I learn better when the teachers actually dress up and pretend to be the boring old dudes we have to know about. It was like a holiday from school, but we actually learnt stuff. I'm sure that's why one of her names is Holiday. Well, Artie and I had been practicing the Umbrella number and suddenly, he was telling me how much he liked me. It was as cool as the totally cool number we were doing and I figured I thought he was cool too. So now we're dating. I'd told San, and she'd just smiled a little and said nothing. I'm not just telling you she said nothing about it. She stopped speaking for an hour when we were in practice. Everyone was too scared to go near her and then when she left, she only said "Bye." It was freaky.

"What? I'm dating Puckerman." Quinn looks down, defending her baby's daddy.

"You are getting naked with Puckerman." Only Quinn can say something that personal and that mean and making it sound like she's talking about needing to buy some milk. Tina seems like she wants to be a bit nicer, though.

"Besides, Puck can't mess with Kurofsky, he's on probation. If he gets in a fight with him, he'll be sent back to juvy." Rachel throws San a satisfied and kind-of-fake pitying look.

"Okay, so now if you'll excuse us." San sighs, throws me a slightly helpless look, before walking away. I'm surprised. Usually she would ignore the boyfriend issue, pushing everyone until she was in on the scheming. But now she just spits at Rachel:

"You're SO on my list, dwarf." Hands on my knees, I follow her with my eyes. She doesn't look back at all as she marches out of the choir room.

.

* * *

.

With her long red dress and orange flower in her hair, cleavage so deep I feel like if I dared to peek, it would be like looking at her toes. I put the flower into her hair, corrects it. Her gaze is directed over my shoulder.

"You remember the lyrics, right? It's 'who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you'." She says, a little bit of worry in her voice. "Not 'it's cakes, baby'."

"I'll try. But cake is better than care." She shakes her head and I can tell that she's fighting a smile. Since I'm so close already (I'm holding my breath not to give my trembling lungs away) I take my time to put more of that gorgeous black her behind her ear. My hand moves down to behind her ear and down to the back of her neck, pretending to fix the way her hair falls down her back. I can hear her swallow. I can do this because if she says something I can always pull the boyfriend card. 'I'm just being helpful, I have a boyfriend, remember?' Something like that.

"I need to find someone." She takes a step back, her voice cool.  
"What? Who?" She just looks at me for a second before turning away, ignoring my question.  
"Don't fall asleep when it's time, alright?"  
"I'll try." But she's already gone. I let out my breath and turn around to look in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my pupils look a little big. As I stare at them, they slowly go down in size.

I wonder if I should've said no to the invitation. Somehow being in a church makes me nervous and honestly, quite bored. It's my grannies fault for reading that boring bible as a bed time story. No wonder I always fall asleep as soon as the priest opens his mouth. It's become a kind of sleeping pill for me.

I look at my eyes more closely, trying to force them open.  
"Do NOT fall asleep in there, Brittany…!" I tell myself, trying to give myself a stern look. Instead I blink and yawn a little. Santana will help me, I hope. I see something flicker in my eyes, but when I lean into the mirror there is nothing there. Just my own blue eyes staring back at me like some hungry Siberian husky. I sigh, try to stop another yawn and pat my dress with my hands, straightening it out. Well, Jesus… Ready or not, here I come.

.

* * *

.

A/N: This is a little sad, I know. I'll try to make sense of this Bartie business… I won't give it too much time, don't worry. But I am writing Brittany and she did like him a lot at some point. And I want ti to make sense, that's all. It didn't always do that in the show. Don't worry, there will always be a jealous Santana around the corner, or a desperate Brittany. Trust me.


	23. Valerie is my Christmas

**Chapter 23 – Valerie is my Christmas**

**Santana**

* * *

**A/N: Since It's been way too long (been to Thailand for a month and had Swedish SATS) so here's a LONG chapter.  
...got woken up by my friend, texting me about Cory. I cried so much. It feels wrong. I love cory, and I like Finn a lot as a character.  
Don't get confused by my bitchy Santana, it doesn't change what happened on the show. She is rude. So be warned, okay?  
**

**I'm really sad. Actually, the only safe thing I KNEW about Glee was that it would be Finchel in the end. Now...?  
It feels like I don't know anything. But hey... Bright side to all this horrible sadness! Maybe this means Faberry will truly happen?  
*sad but kinda happy face*  
**

* * *

.

"Are you trying to throw this?"`Rachel's voice makes me wanna – as always – rip her throat out. Quinn apparently feels the same.

"You used to be just kind of unlikeable," she leans down closer to the insufferable creation, and I feel like kissing her, "but now I pretty much just feel like punching you every time you open your mouth." Rachel looks away as me and Britt smile. Mr. Schuester ignores it – he probably agrees.

"Look, I've talked the talk about everyone in here being special, but frankly I haven't walked the walk. I mean, we have got a lot of talent here! And I'm gonna highlight it." Rachel stage whispers to her perfect little puff pastry.

"DO SOMETHING." I roll my eyes, leaning over to Brittany. I agree with Quinn, this chica is in complete psycho mode nowadays. The manly puff pastry is going on about his football thing. Yawn.

"This isn't about me, this is about the team!" Okay, that's my bullshit limit for today.

"You are such a hypocrite!" Rachel snots my way and I want to take that thought of Quinn's into action.

"Hah! Like you even know what that means." I snap.

"It means that your boyfriend is full of crap. Hobbit!" That captures her interest. She stands up, facing me.

"You know what? Ever sense the wedding you've been up my butt and I'm sick of it!" Well, what else can I do. Men are scums, and I need to pick on someone. Finn speaks up, that jerk.

"Come on Rachel, she's not worth it." Oooh.

"Oh really? That's not what you thought last year in that motel room." I can't stop it now. He can thank himself for being a real jerk and not telling her. I'm an honest bitch, not a lying, two faced one. Well, at least I was honest most of the time. I lean over, glaring at Rachel. "That's right, Yental. Your sweetheart? He's been lying to you. 'Cuss he and I totally got it on last year." Mr. Schue, who's probably really into our relationship drama, finally speaks up. Guess he's a Finchel fan after all.

"Okay, enough already! No more conversations about this!" I lean back, almost adding; If they'd been honest and had conversations about this before, we wouldn't be having them now.

.

* * *

.

I was sitting in the gym, leaning back against the bleachers. The shadow of me as part of the cheerios were still haunting this place, and if Sue knew that Mr. Schuester sneaked us in here after Cheerio practice hours, she'd probably drop a piano on top of him. The auditorium was ours for the taking, but the other Glee members were practicing over there and I wanted to work on my solo number in peace. Mike and Brittany had been here too, of course, for the last hour now. I'd been singing to them dancing, and I think all of us seriously needed a shower by now. Sweat was trickling down my back and my tank top was damp.

The back of my head was still sore from where Lauren had slammed me against the lockers. It was embarrassing as hell, but she was the most vulgar and disgusting person I'd seen in this school. And that is saying something. No one liked her. I think the other Glee members hated her more than me, which felt kind of refreshing, since I was such a bitch a lot of the time.

I can't believe Puck was such a wuss. Maybe because he didn't dare to talk against someone who could throw me around like a napkin. He was completely emasculated by her. It annoyed me to no end, but at the same time… I felt like I couldn't care less. Maybe the not caring was the most frustrating bit. I needed to feel something, we had been almost dating for over a year. But just… nothing.

"Hey." Brittany sat down next to me on the bench, smiling slightly. Her bangs were wet and she drank from her water bottle. Mike waved at us as he left for the showers. Britt waved back, calling;

"See you tomorrow." They were so good. I was never jealous of the two of them. Their relationship was purely platonic – if you ignore the kiss they shared about a year ago; Britt and her perfect score. Besides how could you be angry at something that flowed with such perfection? They complemented each other in their dancing so well you'd think they'd been twirling inside their mothers' wombs. Besides… every now and then Brittany would walk past me, or twirl and her eyes would land on me. Somehow, no matter how much they were into the dance, she would find me like she knew exactly here I was all the time. It made me tingly and uncomfortable at the same time.

"How's the head coming?" I shrugged, not meeting her piercing blue eyes.

"It's better. Kind of." She bumped her shoulder to mine, smiling.

"Good. It was really scary. She's scary." I nodded. I wasn't scared, just embarrassed. But Britt's concern made me feel better, smaller, and I didn't mind her wanting to protect me for once. Just letting myself think of it like that for a little bit made me feel better.

"Soo… you chose the song, right?" I furrowed my brows.

"Uhm, yeah. I talked to Mr. Schuester, but he agreed. He even helped me spice it up a bit." She nodded, hands on her knees.

"So, who's Valerie then?" Her face didn't show a sign of irony. She stared forward, and when I didn't answer she looked back at me, face serious.

"I know the song goes like that, but… You are clearly singing about an actual person." Sometimes she would surprise me so much I'd be left speechless. I hadn't even given the song a second thought, but when she said it I realized with a start that of course it was. One step ahead of me, that brilliant girl who everyone thought was no smarter than a 5 year old.

"Not really…" I said weakly. She narrowed her almond shaped eyes at me.

"Is she some girl you liked?" I pretend to be confused.

"You mean some girl Amy Winehouse liked? Or well, some girls some other dude liked. 'Cuss Amy's is not the original." She looks at me sideways and mumbles, under her breath:

"Well, I was a little jealous." My heart leaps up into my throat. She looks a bit guilty. I feel my cheeks grow flushed but I clam up and refuse to comment on it. She's with Artie.

Brittany leans back on the rows behind us, looking up into the glass ceiling.

"Why did you pick a song about a girl? It's kind of a love song, isn't it?" She says it like it's nothing but something about the way she's twirling her water bottle in her hands tells me otherwise.

"It doesn't have to be…" I say, scared what to find if I keep thinking about my choice. For once I'd gone on intuition. Maybe, somehow, since I knew she was off limits, I'd stopped thinking about these things so much. About the way I was acting. It scared me that I could be that careless.

"I sing Amy Winehouse the best so I just picked a favorite." She still stared up at the sky through the glass, as if looking for a sign of different life forms out there. Suddenly, she closed her eyes.

"You sing everything amazingly. Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Michael Jackson… everything." I blushed again letting the silence dominate us. What was she trying to do? It wasn't like she was available. And about the song, she didn't believe it was a made up person. I decided diversion was the best way to go.

"So, how's Artie?" She shrugged.

"He's alright. Sweet." Then her face fell. "He gave me this…" she glance at me, shyly. "This magic comb that was supposed to give us luck during our performance. But I took Daphney to Motor Cross practice, and we got caked with mud… I threw my clothes in the wash, but I forgot to pick the comb out of my pocket. I asked my mum for it, but… it was gone. Maybe Lord Tubbington ate it. He's been acting very strangely lately." She eyed me. "Maybe he misses you. You haven't been over for awhile." I didn't know why she kept returning to this subject. It was worthless to talk about it – about us.

"I don't want to disturb you and hot ride." She gave me a stern gaze. _Well,_ I thought, _Lord Tubbington is probably jealous, just like me. I too want you to myself sometimes._ "Don't worry about the magic comb. Maybe it just melted and became a part of your pants? So now they are magical?" I watched her face change from disturbed to gleeful in a second. Her hand went to mine, rubbing her thumb across my wrist.

"I really hope that's true. We need all the luck we can get. But I'm truly ashamed; It's the first thing Artie ever gave me. And he seemed to really like it…" She let go of me and banged her water bottle to her head. "I'm such a clutz."

"No, I'm sure he'll understand if you just… tell him." I felt my heart sink with every second that I let this conversation go on. "Besides, you and Mike are amazing. You two create magic all on your own."

"We've still got some moves to perfect, but it's going well." She mumbled, closing her eyes, still holding the cold water bottle to her forehead.

"Brittany, about hanging out…" I took a deep breath. I could feel her eyes on me; they were giving me electrical shots. "…I just can't." I glanced at her. Her icing blue gaze was piercing me expectantly.

"When two people are best friends, like we are… they usually want to hang out all the time, and share a bed, and hold hands and watch films and cuddle and…" I took a deep breath. Then stopped.

"And I don't want to share those things with anyone but you." I'm still mumbling. Rambling. But she is breathing quietly next to me. I hear the sound of her clothes as she leans closer.

"You don't have to. We'll make time. Artie doesn't need to be there for everything." Her forehead connects with my shoulder. I can feel her breath on my skin, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I so much want to lean back, touch her hair, kiss her cheek but… all I can think is that I don't want him there for anything.

"Yeah, okay." I say while my head is shouting I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T! I can't take being in her room where the sheets are crumpled by someone else's body. I can't go into her bathroom smelling the faint trace of his cologne. I can't find his sock under the bed. I can't handle walking through the door and seeing Bailey's disappointed face over the fact that it's not the boy on wheels who plays with her that is coming over. I just… can't. I push the realization away, not wanting to care what they mean, all of these feelings. Girls do tend to get jealous when their best friends get boyfriends. _I know this_, I tell _myself. I read it in a magazine. It's normal. You're normal._

I sigh and stand up, leaving the warmth of Brittany. I smile slightly at her.

"I'm not showering. I gotta hurry home. Dracula's waiting for me, and I need to save dad from her blood sucking mouth." Brittany shakes her head, but tries a smile as well.

"Okay. I'll stay a little longer." I nod.

"Don't forget to turn the lights out, yeah?" She nods too. I start walking towards the door and turn around when I reach it. She's looking back up at the ceiling, studying the dark brown clouds that are hurrying across the ink black sky.

"Oh, and Brittany?" She turns to look at me.

"You're right. Valerie is a real person. A real girl." With that I turn around and walk out the door. I knock on mike's door, telling him to please wait for Brittany and then I head home. I decide to walk, even though my car is in the parking lot. I need it. The wind tears at my clothes and shriek in my ears, but it's nice. It drowns out the sorrowful wailing of my heart. You'd think those old hummingbirds had turned into wolves.

.

* * *

.

I had never planned on eavesdropping. I was going to wish her good luck when my way was cut off by Puck. He started talking and by the time I was gonna give him some lame excuse to get away, I saw Artie and Brittany together. Even worse – I heard them. Almost as clearly as if I'd been standing right next to them. They were fighting. The way Artie looked at her – I wanted to tip his wheelchair and set it on fire. Then pretend to be putting out the flames by peeing on it. Or him. I wasn't exactly of fan of the two of them, but seeing Brittany so hurt… it was worse. Way worse.

"When?" her voice rang out.

"When I was accusing you of adultery!"

"What does that have to do with me cheating?" She looked so sweet, helpless. It got me more angry. He was using those strange words on purpose. Besides, she's way too nice to cheat on him. It would never happen. That realization made me snap my head away, pain most likely showing on my face. I'd had her in reach all this time, but was way too cowardly to do anything about it. CRAP.

"Adultery means cheating."

"I thought it meant being stupid! Like being a dolt. I didn't cheat on you… I did something much worse." She pulls up on her knees. I try to pry my eyes away but they're just… there. Puck says something and I hum, without looking away.

"I lost your magic comb. I don't know what happened, I had it in my pocket and then I went to motor cross practice and then I felt it was gone. That's why I've been avoiding you… I was so ashamed… That magic comb was our chance of winning! The only thing keeping me from totally swrewing it up." Artie smiles. I feel the taste of blood in my mouth. I realize I've bitten on the inside of my cheek so hard the skin broke. I leave Puck with a quick word, going to find water to wash my mouth out. I still have a minute. There's a throbbing pain across my chest, like I've got pheumonia. A sob rocks through my body. I empty the cup I find and try to shove the sorrow down deep below, where nobody can ever find it. This is my chance. My chance to sing about… well, Valerie.

.

* * *

.

I got carried away. When Britt slapped my ass – which was totally out of line – my heart ran away like it was a wild horse.

"_When I sit by myself  
And I look across the water!  
And I think of all the things, what you're doing,"_

Britt comes in, and we're dancing again. When I look at her my heart, our bodies, our eyes, are the only thing in the world. Everything else melts away. My wailing heart is lulled to laughter, for a few minutes.

"_And in my head I paint a picture!"_

She fans herself – as if I'm truly singing about her. Wait, correct that. As if she knows I'm truly singing about her. Mike moves, then everything is, as always, Britt again.

"_Why don't you come on over?  
Stop making a fool out of me!  
Why don't you come on over,  
Valerie?"_

They take the stage. My Britt is amazing. She flips off Mike's back like she's doing something as natural as yawning. The boys vs. the girls and she approaches me and suddenly I know too, for real, why I chose this song. It's not about a girl named Valerie. It's all about her. Swap their names and it's all her. Blonde hair, blue eyes though… Brittany. I take off the microphone from its stand, motioning with a curling finger for her to come closer. She does it all too willingly. That wasn't in the choreography. And in my head, the lyrics are all wrong but just right.

"_Cuss since I've come on home,  
well my body's been a mess!  
And I miss your _**long blonde hair**_,  
and the way you like to dress!  
Won't you come on over?  
Why don't you come on over, _**Brittany**_?"_

_._

* * *

_._  
It was Christmas Night, and everyone had left from Mr Schuester's hours ago. I sat in my window, looking out into the garden, wishing I had someone at home to share it with. Both Cruella and dad were working since Christmas is one of the busiest days of the year for the hospital. I guess Dracula would've bothered keeping me company had I not said I was invited over to a friend's house. Not that everything would be better with any one of those around, but at least I wished I hadn't been completely alone. Last year I'd spent with Brittany, and it had been the best Christmas I could remember. Silke and Bernard had made a huge Christmas dinner and Brittany had insisted that I'd come over and celebrate after she figured out I would be alone.

I'd protested at first, but I hadn't really wanted to be alone, of course. I'd eaten too much of everything, even letting myself have a some of the homemade chocolate brownies and cranberry ice cream that'd been offered. Then we sat around the Christmas tree with the TV showing the Polar Express, and I was relieved I'd bought presents for all of them, because they'd gotten tons of presents for me, even Daphne had made me a bracelet of white and red, to fit my cheering costume, which was great.

The dog had been lying at our feet, Mittens had played with the ribbons and paper strewn about the floor and Daphne had cuddled with Pancakes, who'd closed his eyes and enjoyed the peaceful calm and quiet. Brittany had snaked a hand underneath the pillow I'd had in my lap and took my hand underneath it, letting her thumb stroke the back of my hand as we looked at the TV.

This year Brittany's biggest wish was to make Artie walk again. I had felt like crying blood when she'd said it. She was such a sweet, caring person and I hated that stupid guy to come wheeling into her life and changing everything with pretend magic and wonders. He didn't deserve her, he'd probably had tons of normal Christmas eve's with his loving family, and now he'd been asked to come into Brittany's Christmas as well, taking away the only chance of a decent Christmas eve I'd ever had.

I took it all pretty good. The pervy Mall Santa, the crazy wish. I was all for making Brit... _Believe_ in the wonders of the world. But lying to her like that? I just couldn't be a part of it. With a small white cotton star hitting the window, I awakened from my Brittany dreams. Big pieces of wool were fluttering down from the sky.

I hurried to put on some clothes before making my way out onto the streets. It was about 11:04 which meant no one was out but me, and the snow had already draped a two centimetres deep duvet over our small world. I looked up, feeling the wind catch my hair and ram dozens of tiny, cold flakes straight onto my cheeks and eyelids. I breathed in and started walking, not really knowing where, just knowing it was away. And maybe also a little towards.

I reach out to drape some snow up on my index finger, looked at it as if it was icing from a cupcake and smiled at the sugar coated cars all around me. I put the finger in my mouth, tasting water and cold, remembering that mum used to yell at me for eating snow. I look at my footsteps, making a distinct pattern in the snow, leading the way as if across a huge white map. To think I am the first one to walk in this snow, the first one to make a mark. Early tomorrow morning, someone will walk here and think: "_Oh, someone has been walking here. Wow. I'm the second one to ever make my mark in this snow_."

I happened to see Brittany's big house closing in on me, and the cat was sitting outside on the gate. It's dark fur was covered in flakes, and it stared tentatively at me, as if it was making sure I know how upset it was for being left outside. it started to look like a lamb before my eyes, and I walked all the way up to it, smiling as it mewed when it recognized me. It's not until then that I realize it's much less fat than Lord Tubbington – and that it is not his kind of meow.

"Seriously?!" I almost shout out, and she closed her eyes half way, her ears slightly put back. "How-, where-, when-...!?" She just looked at me like: "_You gonna let me in or not?_" Holy shit.

"Merry Christmas, Mittens," I say, my voice sounding like thunder in the muffled silence of the snow. Mittens stood up, reaching out with her head towards me, and pushed into me, head first, in the stomach. "Missed you too, kitty." I said, trying not to cry. It's hard though, especially when she sets her front paws on my front, looking up into my face with half closed eyes, purring loudly.

I took her into my arms and put my nose in her cold fur, smelling old memories of Brittany and home baked cookies in there. Maybe I could steal Mittens away before they noticed her and I wouldn't be completely alone.

"Lord Tubbington? Tubby?" I hear the sound before I can place it. Silke's voice cut through the silence like a knife. I looked up, and so did Mittens, as Brittany's mom came out through the front door in a pink robe and Bernard's huge snow boots on her tiny feet. She saw me, and closed the door, only to hurry out into the yard and towards me, Mittens and the gate.

"Santana, dear!" she says, pulling her robe tighter around her chest.

"Merry Christmas Mrs. Pierce," I said, trying to swallow down the tears already running down my cheeks. I hate crying. "It's this damn cold," I smiled unconvincingly.

Silke nodded as if she knew I mean the water from my eyes and stepped even closer, giving me a smile that tells me she was genuinely happy to see me. Then she saw the cat.

"Is that...? Oh my goodness!" Her hand snapped to her chest. Then she looked at me, reached out and patted the cat who started purring in my arms. She took a hold of her and hugged her so tightly that she mewed a little.

"I can't... wow. This is amazing." She looked up at me, wide eyed. "Thank you."

"It was all her, Mrs. Pierce. I just walked over here, and she was sitting here, like she was waiting for you." She kissed the cat's head, before giving me a stern look.

"Since when did you start calling me Mrs. Pierce, dear?" She laughed, opening the gate and stepped aside to let me in. I stand my ground, holding my hands close to my chest as if they would be able to protect me from coming inside and seeing Artie and Brittany by the TV, feeding each other home made Christmas candy.

"We all missed you terribly this year," Silke said, putting a hand on the cat, and scratching her behind her ear absent-mindedly. I kept quiet, looking at the cat, who was staring at me. Almost like she was telling me she'd been waiting out here for my sake, not theirs. I blinked. So did the cat.

"Lord Tubbington became very angry with that poor boy when he visited this afternoon," Silke chortled. "He almost run him over a few times, and he thought his wheelchair was so scary that he escaped through the kitchen window!" I smiled a little, enjoying the shame Artie must've felt when he scared Brittany's favourite pet like that.

"He's a nice boy," she continued, and my heart felt like it was gonna burst with pain. Silke was the kindest woman I knew after Brittany, and she could hardly hate anyone. But a part of me had wished for her to dislike Artie, since I wanted to be the favourite in the family.

"I really like him, but don't think it'll last especially long," she continued, and I finally looked up. She was smiling at me. "Brittany, she's just not going to end up with a boy-... a person, like him." after some thought she added, "She likes him, but it's obviously not love." I couldn't stop the grin from roaming over my face.

Silke draped an arm around my shoulders, put the cat back in my arms and pulled me close to her.

"Come on now, dear." There's still so much food left, and I was just about to make some sandwiches. And the ice cream is ready to be eaten..." She squeezed me tighter as she said that, but even though I wanted nothing more, I stepped back a few steps.

"Sorry, Silke. I better get back home." Silke looked at me with that mothers-knows-best look she usually gets when me or Brit or Daphne are trying to convince her of something that's not true.

"She'd be thrilled to see you."  
"I doubt it," I muttered, mostly to myself, but she caught it, of course.

"She misses you, a mother knows these things."

"I don't think me showing up, unannounced will change her mind." I tell her, not really sure what I mean. I was a bitch to her about the Artie business. And I had been avoiding her as much as I could.

"It's Christmas, Santana. Time for forgiveness."

"It's also the time for change," I say, shrugging.

"Yet you show up here, on Christmas Eve, honey." I take another step back, looking away not to meet her gaze. My inner bitch says I should defend myself, but she just never comes out when Silke's around.

"I miss her too." I say, letting the new found Mittens down and turn around to walk away.

"Merry Christmas, Santana dear!" I hear her call after me, but I keep walking until I'm sure she's gone in. That's when I turn around to see a shadow in Brittany's room. I stare at it, feeling her stormy blue eyes on me. Then I give it up and go home – to one of dad's finest bottles of Whiskey to keep me warm.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: Look, guys. I wrote two endings to this chapter. A long time ago – right after I'd seen the episode, actually. And I decided on the bad one, since Santana is being a total chicken, not defending Britt's honour in then 11****th**** episode. I was kind of bummed out by her behaviour, and how she was being such a quiet little mouse compared to the otherwise roaring mountain lioness. So I had to keep it short, sad and well... to make sense of it all. But I decided to give you this anyway... because you also deserve the ending I wish I'd been able to write for them already in this episode. But sadly, it doesn't go with the story... but enjoy...:**

...

As we entered the hall, Mittens still in my arms, Daphne and Bernard looked up from the sofa at me.

"Dears, look who finally showed up!" Silke laughed as she kicked off her husband's shoes and went inside.

"Santana!" A loud cry was heard from the top of the stairs, and hurling down came Brittany, with her constant shadow Bailey just behind. She threw her arms around me and the cat, overwhelming me in her smell and burying me in her thick knitted sweater.

"I'm so glad you're here", she whispered into my ear, quiet enough for Mittens to miss it. Then she let go of me and realized who I had in my arms.

"Mi...Mittens? Is that you?" The cat mewed, pawing at me and mewing. When Britt took her in her arms, she purred so loudly I thought it was a lawn mower. I heard Britt sniffle.

"You went to fat camp!?" I laughed, and so did the family as they gathered around, petting and kissing both the crying Brittany and the cat. I stood there, feeling awkward.

"It's a Christmas Miracle," Daph let out.

"I guess Santa really does know everything," Britt smiled at me behind the head desperately stroking itself to every inch of her face.

"She's got a new collar. It's an area code quite far away... Someone else must've taken her in." I felt like the Grinch. Britt didn't stop smiling though.

"I'm just so happy she's okay, though." Bernard wrapped an arm around my shoulder – it was like getting hugged by a bear.

"We'll call them first thing tomorrow. But now, let's enjoy this Christmas Eve together."

Britt took my hand, one arm still carrying the (much smaller) purring bundle of joy, and soon Bailey and Daphne were by my side as well, licking, jumping and hugging me all the same. Silke called from the kitchen to hurry up and get myself a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows in, and Brittany almost ripped the coat from my shoulders, only to throw her own knitted sweater over my head.

Then she grabbed my hand, dragging me to the kitchens. I was laughing and smiling and feeling so different. I was home, with Brittany's hand in mine. _This was Christmas._


	24. Blame it on the alcohol

**Chapter 24 Brittany**

Blame it on the alcohol

A/N: HAS IT BEEN A YEAR SINCE I UMPDATED!? SERIOUSLY? I get it if there are a lot of readers who stopped reading, hehe.  
It's just been a lot, I guess. New fandoms, not enough Brittana fluff to inspire... I wrote this a long time ago, and never published it.  
How I think that party should have happened. I promise I'll try to update some more!

* * *

We'd talked a little, she'd only told me about getting wasted on Christmas Eve. I think she told me just so I could feel bad about it, since mom told me about her showing up. I should've done something. I should've... pushed her. But Santana is like a panther; if pushed into a corner she'll attack you, slicing at you with her claws. She acts on instinct, never really stopping to take a moment to think the situation through. I did drop a lot of hints, how we'd do this and that for Christmas, so she'd understand that I wanted her to come... But she'd not mentioned it and I was forced to drop it. I'd told her all about Mittens though. How happy we'd all been. That she'd looked like she'd been to fat camp. Lord Tubbington had come in a few hours later with us all fussing, even Bailey, over how we called the new owners and they came over the next day.  
Now I was standing there, feeling slightly empty, waiting for her to finish up bossing the other girls around.

I'd been able to avoid the pain of seeing her by making sure Artie and I had plans. But I knew I had to face it sooner or later. Trying to live without her was like living in a world where everyone spoke Spanish. My hummingbirds never sung. And no matter how hard I found breathing to be when she was up close, it was almost impossible to do it without her. Like I was afraid to forget such an important part to living if she wasn't around with her delicious scent to remind me to breathe her in.

I was clutching her Christmas present behind my back, worried I might rip the wrapping but unable to release the lock I had on it. Then she came, after the last three girls. They looked like she'd threaten to kick them off the roof. I blushed slightly with pride that she could make people look like that.

"Santana." Her attention was pulled from her bag to my face. She stopped, looked worried for a moment, but then her eyes smiled and I knew it couldn't be that bad.

"Hi Brittany." The way she said my name made my heart ache. It had been a while. It's weird how long two people can talk, for days, without calling each other by name... I pulled out the present.

"It's time for us to do this, I think..." At first I was worried, maybe she hadn't brought the present or even worse, she'd been so angry with me she'd decided not to buy me one. But she just sighed, smiling a little, and pulled one (huge) out of her bag as well.

"Alright, but let's go somewhere." She walked over to me, bumping my shoulder with hers, before walking over to the school grounds further away, to a bench that was under a tree. I pulled my hat down further over my ears and followed.

Sitting down, not too close, we swapped presents. I opened mine first. When I peeled the last of the paper off (I open them quickly) I saw a miniature Santa Clause costume and a...

"OMG, you got me a fondue pot!?" I threw my arms around her so quickly the package almost fell out of my lap. Santana squirmed a little when I let her go, blushing (but that could've been the cold, she wasn't wearing a hat) and pulled her fingers (she had fingerless gloves on) through her hair, looking at me sideways.

"Well, you did say there's nothing better than melted cheese and chocolate... And the Christmas costume is for a small child, but I thought it might fit Lord Tubbington just fine..." I clapped my hands, agreeing happily and nodded my head so much that my hat almost fell off. She laughed, pulling it back over my ears. I stopped moving for her, and I swear her fingers lingered on my cheeks a second longer than necessary. Unfortunately I didn't feel a bit guilty for enjoying it, which I knew I should've.

"... I wish you'd been there at Christmas Eve, San." I mumbled, knowing she might show me her claws. But I had to take the risk. She looked a little hurt.

"Well, I didn't want to ruin it for Artie. We don't really like each other that much. I would've just made him uncomfortable. And enjoyed it." She smiled a little, shaking her head. "It wouldn't be fair. Let's just say that was my Christmas present for him. And this was kind of to make up for not being there for you." She turned back to me, sadness mingling with her pleased smile.

"Well, as long as you promised to eat cheese with me I'll accept it." I was nothing if not easily bought. Especially when it came to Santana. "Now come on, open yours!" I gave her my expectant gaze. She pretended to sigh. Santana on the other hand is slow when opening presents. I had to use all the strength inside of me not to tear it open for her. First out came the package of cinnamon, almond and chocolate brownies I'd made her with the help of my mum. The kitchen had smelled just like her that afternoon and she popped open the lid and breathed it in, smiling with a childish gleam in her eyes. Then she grabbed a hold of the scarf.

"What the-?" As she pulled and pulled at the mix of raspberry red and ocean blue, the DVD fell onto the cold ground. I bent to pick it up. She stared at the scarf. It was fat and about 2 meters long.

"I made it myself, just like the brownies," I said proudly. She grinned, immediately putting it around her neck. It took about 5 turns.

"This is perfect, Britt. I never go out with enough clothes. I love it." She practically burned me with her smile. Then I realized I was still holding onto the third present. She accepted it and then froze.

"What's this?" I ignored her hesitation.

"It's a movie I've wanted to see for a while. It's supposed to be super funny and there was no one else I wanted to watch it with, so I thought to give it to you."

"'_But I'm a cheerleader'_..." she read aloud. She shook her head and leaned in to hug me.

"Thank you, Brittany. Really." I hugged her back, buried in her new scarf.

"Well, let's go! We can buy some cheese and then watch it at my place! Mom is still complaining over all the leftovers..." She let go of me and just nodded, still smiling. We collected our stuff and even though none of us offered the other their hand – it just kind of felt like off limits somehow – we walked close enough for our gloves to brush against each other again, again and again.

.

.

"Oh San. Rachel's having a Christmas party of some sort." I hated it so much, couldn't make sense of it.

"Sounds awful." San spurts. "Is anybody going?"  
"Let me find out." I smile and speed dial Artie.

"Did you hear?"

"Yes, Mercedes just told me." I can hear her at the other end;

"Tell them that I'll go if they go." Artie scoffs.

"Tell them yourself, I ain't the pony express."

I looked over at Santana and Sam, staring at something Blaine was doing. His golden hair fell into his eyes and when he noticed me looking, he turned to me and smiled with those lady lips of his. I wonder if that's what Santana saw in him. I couldn't bring myself to answer it, so I just grabbed the raspberry vodka and gave it a chug. I wasn't too steady on my feet and I knew I'd had enough, but it would be okay. I was what Santana used to refer to as stripper-drunk. And I wanted to be. It would give me the perfect excuse to do whatever I wanted to whomever I wanted. As long as my boyfriend was just as drunk as me. So I handed him the bottle, and Artie pushed his glasses further up the nose, winked at me and drank.

"It's like lemonade set on fire," he coughed when he put it down. I just giggled and went straight for the Tequila bottle I saw behind Rachel's dad's bottles of scotch. I knocked down one that started spilling out on the floor, but no one but me seemed to notice. Then I stepped onto the little table and waved the tequila above my head.

"Who wants to do Tequila shots?" I zoomed in on Santana next to Sam, and saw her fiery gaze. I was a bit off balance, but I'm pretty sure I saw her eyes travel down my half naked body and back up. My skin was tingling so badly I felt it right through the numbing alcohol. Then she looked away with a devilish smile. I stepped off the table and for a moment, my balance was off. I fell back into Artie's lap, laughing as Rachel raced after Quinn upstairs, who had gone after Puck, who was going to the kitchen for lemons and salt. I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend as I heard them shouting and stomping (probably Rachel and Quinn arguing with Puck and each other) above our heads. Artie pulled away to say:

"Wow, they're loud." I just laughed and caught Santana staring at us behind our back. She had Sam attached to her neck and she was pressed up against a wall, her hands in his hair, but her gaze was on us. I swallowed and looked away, feeling as if Artie had run me over with his wheelchair.

I tried to distract myself by rushing up and unbuttoning my shirt for Artie. He did the whole pimp thing, and honestly, all I remember is me showing off my Burlesque dance moves and trying to keep by breath even. Then suddenly, Rachel's high pitched voice was back. It cut through the music like Lord Tubbington when he's not been given a large enough meal. I saw people doing shots, I saw Sam laughing, Artie wheeled around to join in when Blaine, Sam and Mercedes took Tequila shots out of egg cups. I was frozen to the spot as I watched Santana take Sam's lemon and give it another bite. She closed one eye, and then licked her lips. I jumped down, marched right through there, took a shot with eyes on her, then downed another, before grabbing the bottle and said something I would regret tomorrow.

"Let's do body shots!"

I think three people licked each other before I shoved Kurt giggling off the table and before I had even laid down Santana were there, magnetic. Her eyes were dark and unlike the others, locked right onto mine. I felt the goose bumps on my skin just by knowing her mouth would soon be on me. It was a cheap way of cheating. But it seemed to be the night that anything was allowed. I tried to tell myself it was the alcohol, but when Santana grabbed the salt from Artie I whimpered with anticipation. Luckily enough the music was too loud for anyone to hear, but I think Santana might have sensed it. She smiled at and I got so overrun by alcohol I giggled. She put one of her hands on my thigh as she used the other to sprinkle salt on me. I felt every muscle tense as she accepted the drink from a giggling Quinn and shook my head while Santana's fake-fur vest tickled my ribs. Then I felt the wetness of her breath roll onto my skin before her tongue licked at the salty snow. Where her tongue traced I burned with a chill that made me curl my toes. Then she leaned back to take the shot, chew the lemon and laugh. She met my eyes and laughed so hard, and to others it might've been nothing, but to me, drunk Brittany S. Pierce, it was a challenge. So I took it. The rest of the night was blur of a crying Rachel, a make out with Sam, Santana telling me to stay away from her man and then, in the end, me laying in my boyfriend's lap while Santana stepped onto the stage and mumbling:

"This is for all you people out there who are too scared to..." Then she traced off, forgetting her words. She just pressed play on the karaoke machine. I thought for a second she would puke or cry at the centre of the stage when the melody got on, but instead her raw voice came out and made my ribcage shake like it had a wild animal trapped inside it. Panther, maybe.

"Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection"

Artie distracted me by handing me a beer, but I shook my head and when I looked back up her eyes were on me.

"You said move on  
Where do I go  
I guess second best  
Is all I will know…"

She took a shaky breath that made the microphone echo and I told Artie I might want that beer after all.

"Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes…"

…

That's when I ran away from Artie's lap to the bathroom. It was locked. In a panic I rushed upstairs, flew to the sink and puked until my eyes and nose were running and my stomach was achingly empty. I put on the water and washed most of it down the drain. A few pieces of ham was still in there, reminding me of the pizza I'd had a few hours earlier. I washed my mouth a few times before turning around. Kurt was there. His hair was a mess and his shirt buttoned the wrong way. He hiccupped sweetly and looked at me all teary eyed. In his hands were three sandwiches.

"Yummy…" I blurted out. He looked at the sandwiches, most like P&J, then back to me.

"I'll give you one if you come with me to take some fresh air."

I just nodded and we went out onto the porch and sat down. I was quite a cold night, even though the snow had melted away quickly. After a few seconds, we were both kind of shivering, but in a good way. I took the sandwich he handed me and bit into it, closing my eyes and thanking the salty sweetness.

"So, that thing with Blaine and Rachel today was… weird." I had to think back to figure out what he was talking about. All that covered my mind was the burning image of Santana's cinnamon eyes. Then I remembered the kiss.

"Yeah… I thought he liked boys." I opened my eyes to look at him. Kurt was gazing at the stars with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Yeah… me too." I took another bite of my sandwich, waiting for him to continue. "I thought I loved him."

I nodded while I chewed.

"I know." I said, slowly. Then, not caring if he understood or not I added; "Me too." He turned to look at me, pink cheeks and eyes that reflected the stars. He understood.

"I know." We merely nodded to each other, before he handed me the other sandwich and putting his head on my shoulder. Then we sat there, me chewing, him sighing, listening to the shadows of the party going on below.

..

"Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away  
Oh no more mistakes  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..."


	25. Blame it on the hangover

**Blame it on the hangover  
**

**(Santana)**

**.**

* * *

.

I was awakened by the voice of a woman singing.

For a moment I was completely lost, noticing I had piercing headache and squeezing my eyes shut at the gray daylight seeping into my dark-walled room. When I pushed the button on my phone I saw that it was only 10 a.m.

Then I felt my stomach turn inside out and I sat up, head spinning and stumbled, hands on my stomach to the bathroom (thankfully I had my own). I pushed open the door so hard that it banged into the wall and bounced back and giving my ass a tap as I fell on my knees I started retching, but nothing came up. I leaned onto my arm on the toilet seat and the other arm draped around my middle. I closed my eyes with tears stinging in them, breathing in deeply and almost falling back to sleep, when there was a rapid knock on my door.

"Santana baby, what are you doing in there?" I recognize the voice and as I heard the bedroom door open, I felt myself dry-heave again. I managed to calm it down, thankful that I had slammed the bathroom door as I barged in.

"Just a minute," I called, standing up on shaky legs. Nobody was usually home after one of my party nights, so to have anyone here was a complete shock. To have Dracula in the house was even more of one.

I stuck a toothbrush in my mouth, uncorked mascara, put some swiftly on my eye (I had thankfully washed my face before going to bed last night) and then opened the door. There was my mother, in a silk pink bathrobe, holding onto a spatula like some kind of fashion accessory.

I pulled out the toothbrush with the hand that wasn't gripping the mascara and swallowed the fresh, minty spit in my mouth. It was oddly refreshingly, even if I had to fight the urge to vomit again.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just… practicing bird calls. There'll be a test in Glee club on Monday."

Dracula seemed to eye me very carefully, but I quickly shot her a question back, which made her loose herself.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, ehm. Breakfast. I thought I'd be nice to have breakfast with you two."

"No." I murmured angrily. "I mean, what are you doing _here_?" She looked away and blushed. BLUSHED. My mother didn't blush. Vampires don't blush.

"Well, we were going to tell you at breakfast, but… You just kept on sleeping. So when I heard you I thought I'd come up and wake you…" I crossed my arms, waiting, clutching the mascara brush and the toothbrush in each hand for protection, just in case.

"Me and your dad have started dating." My hands fell to my sides and I dropped my brushes.

"Wait, what!?" Dracula nodded happily.

"Oh yes."

"But what about Cruella?"

"Who…?" she looked a little confused. "Oh, you mean your dad's nonsense girlfriend?"

"_Wife_." She pouted her lips disapprovingly.

"Oh, well. Wife. They're getting a divorce."

I shook all over. Before I could stop myself I pushed past my mom and raced through the hall and into the kitchen. There by the kitchen counter sat my dad wearing a blue silk robe, which frankly made him look like some Latin soap opera actor. He was reading a newspaper and eating whole grain bread tostada with eggs. I could smell patatas bravas in the oven and felt a violent tug in my chest, reminding me on Sunday mornings when I was six. I also remember clearly having a tiny Brittany sitting next to me, shoveling the spicy potatoes in with a dash of dad's tomato sauce, while we were longing for the churros my abuela would come over to make.

When I stormed in and caught my breath, my father looked up. His smile froze on his face.

"When did this happen!?" I demanded. I heard Dracula come after me, her feet already in heeled slippers. My dad folded the newspaper and put in on the counter before looking back up at me.

"Which are you referring to, Santana?"

"All of it!" I shrieked "Where's your wife, for example!?"

"Oh well, we've been having a hard time for a while now." I couldn't believe my ears.

"You bought her a huge fur just a month ago!" Dad cleared his throat loudly.

"Well, that was to try and patch things back together. But it didn't work. And then your mother showed up-"

"Don't call her that!" I spat. Dracula gave an annoyed sound at that.

"Behave, Santana." he said deeply and I shut up. He gave me a stern look before he kept talking. "And we got to talking. It's been way too long." My mom went past me, and took my father's hand.

"Honestly, we thought you'd be happy." She said matter-of-factly. "All children want their parents back together. It's like that film you love so much."

"Loved," I spat. "Parent trap. I was 9." She put on a sour face at that. My dad just patted her hand while giving me the stink eye.

"Don't be rude, Santana. Your mother has missed a lot." I felt anger lash out at my insides.

"And whose fault is that!?" I cried accusingly. "She just left, dad. Left me with you, who didn't have the time to take care of me! I have spent almost 70% of my childhood at abuela's! You hardly see me! You don't know much more than she does!"

Dad stood up, slamming his hand on the table, turning his plate upside down.

"And it sounds like it's time that you go back to her so she can teach you some manners!" he roared in Spanish. "Now go to your room and pack and then come down and eat some of your mother's breakfast. I'll take you to abuela after that and then you can stay there for the rest of the weekend."

"Bueno", I growled, turning on my heels, rushing into my room and slamming the door shut behind me. Tears stinging in my eyes from anger and hatred, I felt as if I couldn't breathe. All I wanted to do was call Brittany. I _needed_ Brittany.

But I couldn't.

Brittany was with Artie, and I would not let Artie know about this. Over my dead body. The thought of Artie and Brittany together made my stomach muscles contort again, and with a moan I ran for the bathroom, almost tripping on my toothbrush on the floor, my whole body trying to vomit. But there was no food inside of me, and I felt completely empty of all feelings.

If only I could vomit up that emptiness inside.

.

* * *

.

It was Monday and I was still drunk.

Artie's Bloody Mary had helped me to pick it up again, it had been strong enough to make me tipsy. To be honest I had also stolen some of my dad's punch and poured it into my morning latte. He'd already left for work anyhow, and Dracula had been at her place. But my head was still spinning after our dance routine. Now Mr. Schue was giving us praise for our acting skills. It was pathetic how highly he thought of us, not realizing we were not just acting.

Rachel snuck behind me as I stood, balancing on my high heels next to Brittany, who was leaning against Artie's wheelchair for support. I saw Rachel tap Mike's ass. Tina came and pulled Mike away angrily. I snickered, but at the same time I felt an incredible sadness. I was Rachel in the Artie and Brittany situation. I was mom in the dad and Cruella situation. I had no chance. Well, looked like mom had a chance, but I know that I was screwed. I'd never become my mom. Never in a million years. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"And have you guys heard of alcohol poisoning?" Mr Schue told us. "Yeah, it kills about 400 people a year." I heard what he was saying, and somewhere in my mind I told myself that maybe I should just keep drinking; then maybe I would do just that. Get alcohol poisoning. A sob escaped my throat.

"Santana, are you… are you crying?" Mr. Schuester looked at me with real concern on his face.

I let out another strangled sob as I felt Brittany's hand on my lower back. I wanted to smack it away, but her touch just made me weak in the knees. I held up my hands defensively, trying not to cry.

"I'm okay, I'm okay…" Then I turned to Britt, who pulled me towards her, wearing a worried look on her face. I put my arms around her neck, hugging her hard. Brittany patted my back, and I sobbed quietly, before pulling myself away as Quinn and the others told Mr. Schuester off.

But as I bite my lip, I start crying again. My shoulders are shaking and Brittany tugs at my arm. I let myself be wrapped up in her embrace as she excuses us, leading me off the stage into the dressing room.

"What's wrong, honey?" Calling me honey only makes it worse. I feel the tears stream down my chin as she helps me sit down on the bench. She sits down next to me, and instead of pulling myself together I fall even more apart. I push my head into her shoulder and she truly wraps me up in her. I feel the warmth of her breath in my hair, the tickling of her red feather earrings on my ear and her long strokes on my back. Her lotus flower and bubble gum fragrance tickles my nose and calms me down enough to take some deep, gulping breaths. I start stroking her lower back, finding comfort in feeling her warmth under my touch. She moves her head on top of mine slightly. Then my hands, as I'm still ugly and full of tears so I'm not sure what I'm thinking, starts lifting the edge of her jacket and black tanktop. When my fingers find her skin she shivers and so do I, delightedly in my sorrow, feeling something finally filling the emptiness.

"Santana…" she breathes against the top of my head, and I just hum to quiet her, stroking my tear streaked cheek against her neck.

"I just want to be warm…" Then the door bang open and I quickly slip my hands back. Brittany still holds onto me though, but she speaks as if it is the most normal thing in the world, having me in her arms.

"Hey, guys. What did he say?"

"Just the usual," Quinn said, sitting down next to me as I pull away, looking up at Britt, who hums in agreement and wipes her thumbs under my eyes, making sure the tears are gone before letting me go completely.

"So, how drunk are you, Santana?" Rachel says in a voice that seems to annoy both me, Britt and Quinn.

"Shut up, gay-raper," Quinn spits. Rachel opens her mouth in chock, putting her sunglasses back on with a snort.

"Yeah, leave her alone, none of us are feeling any good," Mercedes says behind her, pulling her glittery shirt over her head. I shoot Mercedes a thankful look. Brittany touches my arm and nods in the direction of the door.

"How about I take you home?" I nod, trying not to start sobbing again, the cold emptiness making me drown in my own misery. She starts packing all our things down before giving me my bag. When we leave, she bumps into Rachel with her bag, making her spill the water she was drinking all over herself.

"Heey!" I can't help but giggle as Brittany shoots me a sly look.

"Ooops, I'm sorry," Britt says happily. "Still a little tipsy, you know!" Then, with a wink in my direction, she hooks my arm to hers and drags me out of the locker rooms.

.

* * *

.

We don't really talk on the way home. At least none of us had been stupid enough to bring our cars, so we walk. The weather is better again and the sun is shining, piercing my head painfully.

She steers us towards my house without saying anything and she puts on a playlist on our phone of the songs from Sweet Valley high, this book series we read when we were younger which had been turned into a TV show. Last year Brittany had been given the first DVD as a birthday present from her parents and ever since, we had been watching it nonstop. It was the kind of show that was so bad you couldn't help but love it. And it didn't matter if we talked through the episodes, because we could still keep up with the storyline of the two twin sisters getting into trouble one way or another.

When we reached my door I fumbled with the keys before stumbling in. I put my bag on the floor and opened the fridge, finding some sliced cheese. I took it out and stuffed some in while I heard Brittany behind me:

"Your dad left a note… He's going to take your mother to dinner… wait, Pamela? Your mom?" I turned around, cheese still rolled up in my hand, nodding while sniffling loudly.

Brittany comes forward, reaches out again and takes the cheese from me, popping it into her mouth.

"Now," she starts, seeming to have sobered up quite a bit during our walk, placing me on a chair by the counter. "I'm gonna make you a sandwich and a big glass of water…" she opens the medicine cupboard. "…with a Trio in it. And then I am taking you to bed."

.

* * *

.

After getting some food in my stomach I felt better, but tired.

Tired of crying. Tired of feeling so useless. Tired of being so empty.

When Brittany followed me to my room, as I stripped off my sparkly, itchy dress and washed my face, she undid my bed. I pulled a sweatshirt over my head and stumbled back out only to see Brittany fluffing my pillows. I swallowed hard, tears once again stinging.

She had pulled down my blinds and turned the lights off. The only thing on was the lamp on my dresser. When she turned to watch me, I smiled and went up to my bed, crawling in. She smiled back at me, sat down on the edge and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Do you want to talk about it…? Pamela, I mean." I felt my heart sink.

"There's not much to say. She's back and she and dad are dating again." Brittany made a sour face, which was unlike her.

"Did she try to apologize? Explain herself?" I shook my head and her hand squeezed me harder.

"No, apologizing isn't really her thing. Guess I got that from her… She tried to bribe me with these." I looked down at my new, perkier breasts. Brittany looked down at them too, before quickly looking away, her face turning a darker shade in the darkness of the room.

"She doesn't deserve you," Brittany mumbled, staring up into the ceiling.

"I think that's exactly what she does," I murmur glumly. "I'm a shitty person and this is my punishment." Brittany looks back at me, glaring.

"No. You were a kid. We both were. And first she took you from me, and then she dared to just leave you behind too." She held my gaze and I felt my heart beat achingly. "All adults act like that, like we are not allowed to behave badly without apologizing, but when they do it's supposed to be forgotten…" then her voice softened. "And no matter how much of a coldhearted bitch you are, you are always the same on the inside. You can't fool everyone. At least not me."

I felt a burning in my throat and I looked away.

"I don't want to talk about it." Because I knew that I was being punished, if not for being a bitch, then for feeling this way.

"Okay." Her little finger gave me a little stroke, before she began to stand up. "I'll see you-"

"Stay." I whispered, holding onto her hand, giving her a pleading look. "Could you please stay for a while? We could watch some Sweet Valley High." She looked hesitant, but then seeing me in my state, probably, she nodded.

"Go ahead and borrow something comfy…" I told her, and she threw off her jacket and put on a pair of shorts that were, since they were mine, painfully short on her long legs. I noted this while I found the DVDs and put the TV on.

As I cuddled back under the covers with her I could feel the heat from her radiating into me. I tried to focus on the episode, but it was close to impossible since they were having a party. I remembered the way she'd arched her back when we'd done body shots only three days ago. It was ridiculous how easily you could let the alcohol be an excuse for almost anything. Nobody had questioned it when I had licked, _licked,_ the tequila from her belly button. They had all assumed it was in good fun, typically slutty cheerleaders…

Now I felt the bits of alcohol still in me egging on the half-drunk hummingbirds. Before I knew it, I was reaching out for her hand on top of the covers.

"Even if it didn't work, Scott trying to get her drunk might be a good idea," I murmur while watching the episodes. "Alcohol is a good excuse."

"It sure is. I mean, all those parties we've been too we're always drinking," Brittany murmured back. "It's always so much fun. Except for the throwing up." I nodded, and she looked at me, eyes slightly closed.

"Maybe we should sing Ke$ha at the assembly…" she murmured. "Tik Tok. It's good and it's about drinking. Besides her video is hilarious."

"Yeah. And her lyrics are so understandable when you've been drinking…"

"Like, "Boys tryin' to touch my junk, gonna smack him if he getting too drunk…" that's girl power, isn't it?" She smiles slightly, a worried glance at my hand. Like she's talking about smacking my hand away. But she doesn't. Instead her fingers, trembling, entangles with mine as I push them down on the covers on the other side of her, leaning in.

"Well," I murmur. "It's also got great lyrics. Like; "You build me up," I sit up on my knees.

"You break me down," I lift my other hand, reaching behind her head and pulling out her high ponytail. Brittany's breath is heavy and she closes her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed.  
"My heart, it pounds," I let the scrunchy fall to my bed as I lean in even closer, Brittany's eyes still closed, mouth slightly open.  
"Yeah, you got me…" I let my nose touch hers before I inhale and kiss her lips softly, light as a bird wings flap. I feel a shudder inside of me as if the emptiness is trembling, but as I'm about to put my hands on her neck she leans back, leaving my mouth with a shudder.

"San, I'm with Artie. This is not right…" She looks away. But I, feeling like I might start crying again having her so close but just out of reach, put my leg over hers, straddling her. Then I put my hands on her face, forcing her slowly to look at me.

"Brittany, no, it's not like that… This is just something else. Of course we're not cheating. We're just friends." She gives me a confused look, filled with doubt and questions.

"We're not just friends." She says, matter-of-factly. And I can't argue against. It's too obviously not true, this excuse I keep telling myself.

"You're right… I guess we're not. But it's still different from being with Artie." She shakes her head.

"I feels different, but… it's still cheating." I am desperate, and in that desperate attempt I take a deep breath and put on a stone face.

"How can it be the same? I'm a girl and he's a boy. It's not the same at all. The plumbing's all different. You know, pipes and tunnels, and all…" I feel myself slipping, so I try to make it obvious. "That's why boys don't mind their girlfriends kissing other girls. Because there's this huge difference between boys and girls and how we work." For a moment I sound so convincing I almost believe myself. Even though I always think a guy's an ass if he thinks it's okay for his girlfriend to kiss girls. If you're in love with someone you should only want to kiss that person.

Brittany smiles shyly.

"Well, all of my boyfriends have always encouraged me to kiss girls at parties…" I start smiling myself, letting out a breath. Her eyes tell me she knows I'm simply pulling a new, crappy excuse, but oh God, her eyes are also telling me she wants to play along. She looks down and I do too, seeing her hands sneak around my waist, my stomach tightening painfully. I shiver, closing my eyes. When I open them she is looking at me again.

"So, you're my best friend and something more… my lady friend whom with I share sweet lady kisses?" I giggle, slightly out of breath when she pulls me closer, my forehead meeting hers.

"I don't want to label anything." She reaches up, kissing my chin innocently.

"Then let's do some plumbing…" To my surprise she can even make that sound incredibly sexy. I wrap my arms around her as I feel her hand sneak in under my shirt. I kiss her hard, desperately, not caring that I have just agreed that we are more than best friends. I am scared shitless, but at the same time I feel the fear and being pushed aside as the emptiness is fading away, being replaced by thousands of tipsy hummingbirds inside me, causing a hurricane that builds and builds and builds…

Until we both explode into each other, colorful wings flapping against our ribcages, singing in our eyes as our lips meet. Again, again and again.

.

* * *

**.**

**A/N: Oh well. Is this any good? Like I said, it's been a while.  
And they have to hook up. Before the next episode. Which is Sexy. THE EPISODE.  
I just felt like Santana needed to face her feelings a little. And Brittany to let Santana fool her. They just want each other.  
I hope this isn't too cheesy, haha. I wrote it quickly, because I wanted to get somewhere. I hope you guys enjoy it. Comments are always very welcome. They make me write faster :D**


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